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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29504229">A New Purpose</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlitscepter/pseuds/moonlitscepter'>moonlitscepter</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Transformers (Bay Movies), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Animated (2007), Transformers: Prime</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Depression, Dom/sub, F/M, Female Reader, Mention of Daddy Kink, Robot Sex, Slow Burn, Smut, Suicide, Torture, Xenophilia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 01:53:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>74,651</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29504229</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlitscepter/pseuds/moonlitscepter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You aren’t afraid of death. You aren’t even afraid of pain. Nothing can be worse than the black hole in your heart sucking every bit of enjoyment out of your little human life. Even a genocidal warlord from another planet doesn’t scare you like it should. For you, it’s just an opportunity to get a dramatic death, and you take it. </p><p>You never expected him to refuse. You definitely didn’t expect to find meaning in his possession. </p><p>He wants you as his pet and despite your better judgement, you want him too. It’s a new life filled with hope and promise of something better.</p><p>[fairly lighthearted fic with no real verse. Temp hiatus while I do a short uni course! Shouldn’t be more than a couple months.]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Decepticons (Transformers)/You, Megatron/Reader, Megatron/female reader, Megatron/you</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>282</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>225</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Meeting the Metal Devil</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello!! This is my first fic ever despite writing for a long time, and I’m also very, very new to the fandom, so please give constructive criticism where it’s due! Legit most of my inspo and knowledge come from other fics so...</p><p>Also this is extremely, disgustingly, OBVIOUSLY self indulgent and borderline self insert, but I’m just here to mess around and have fun. I really wanted to see something involving decepticons where the MC wasn’t trying to escape or constantly afraid of dying. But winging it will be my signature lmao</p><p>Anyway I hope you enjoy!  &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The news of there being giant, robotic, yet intelligent aliens on the earth was really just a poorly kept secret. Legitimate news outlets were somehow blocked from sharing it, but social media was too hard to limit. Pictures and videos set out like wildfire, and despite the government trying its damndest to put out the flames, it was simply too much. They were here, fighting a war on the unluckiest planet in the galaxy: your home.</p>
<p>Then the city became the ring for a giant Rock’em Sock’em match, and people were glad the news had gotten out and they hadn’t been completely caught off guard. Local authorities weren’t allowed to say why people had to evacuate, but the rumbles on the perfectly clear day were a tip off. This wasn’t the area for earthquakes, so everyone’s panicky minds went straight to alien robots. </p>
<p>Which is why you aren’t going to leave. You know the authorities aren’t about to search every apartment, and people were actually quite willing to leave once they saw the dust of buildings collapsing only a couple blocks over. Things are getting worse outside. Your electricity and water have been cut off, segments of your roof threaten to collapse, and despite your overwhelming wish to die, you don’t want to do it stuck in your apartment. </p>
<p>You do, however, kinda wanna die to an alien. Especially a genocidal one. You’ve failed to off yourself more than once, and you’re tired of the game you keep playing with yourself. Despite your wishes, your health wasn’t about to make you kick the bucket, and you couldn’t just <i>ask</i> someone to kill you. But this alien, you can totally ask them. Media had told you that every fight had at least one “good” guy, and one “bad” guy. The ones with blue eyes were good, the ones that had apparently taken some vow not to hurt people during the war. The red eyed ones were the ones that thought humanity was an invasive pest, weak and worthy of eradicating. All you had to do was get in their way. </p>
<p>Now, with a sense of detached determination, your body flies out of the apartment and down the stairs as soon as the carnage enters your street. Amazingly the stairs are still intact and you’re able to get to the ground floor with as much struggle as you would on any other day. Which is to say, a little. It’s six floors and you’re not in as good of shape as you used to be so when you get out to the street you’re already nearly panting. </p>
<p>The place looks like a literal bomb went off. Some cars are still lining the street and parked in front of the various buildings, but many are gone. You’ve never seen it so empty. Looking up, you see some of the buildings across from your apartment have holes in them, or are half collapsed. Yikes. </p>
<p>A sudden rumble draws your attention left, and you see two of the aliens. One is on the ground, a smaller one with plain shades of grey and white, and a much larger one standing above it. Its back is to you but you gasp at how huge the being is. Media did a pisspoor job portraying them even a fraction as menacing as they really are. Especially when the larger, grey-silver one stabs the other right in the chest. It’s deep enough you hear the crunch of the asphalt underneath give way to its blade. </p>
<p>Then it turns, and you can see its body covered with what you have to assume is alien blood. A beautiful, clear sea blue. The other bot is motionless, and you can see its eyes are dark. You presume they were a similar blue to the blood smeared across the other’s body, as that one's eyes are a burning red. They lock onto you. Well, being one of the only other things on the street you aren’t exactly surprised. And you’re shaking, so that probably gave you away too. </p>
<p>The bot walks toward you, causing the ground to shake more and more noticeably as it comes closer. Its face seems like it was supposed to give the impression of pure evil, and it does it well. The eyes are small but cause half of its face to glow red, and you can see, once it begins to smile, absolute shark teeth within. </p>
<p>Your human body insists on being afraid, despite the fact you came out here willingly. You feel your heart in your throat, clawing desperately to get out, leading you to grit your teeth lest it actually escape. The frantic beats are almost enough to drown out the boom of titan footsteps getting closer. Even your legs start to betray you, the cold seeping up from your toes making them numb and wobbly. </p>
<p>All too soon it’s looming over you, and its shadow allows the cold to accelerate up your body, blocking you from the pittance of sun’s warmth still shining above the city, as vibrant as ever, since the sun doesn’t care that the world has been invaded by aliens. Your entire form shakes with chills. Inside though, you’re still determined. You shove all other emotions into a cage at the back of your mind and throw away the key. This is all useless instinct, your body acting of its own accord. You’d already made up your mind, no point being scared now. </p>
<p>It stops before you and you make eye contact. Instantly you’re entranced, locked in its stare despite the screaming at the back of your mind to tear off and get as far away as possible. </p>
<p>Who knew red, the warmest color imaginable, could come off that cold? Nothing else in the world exists or matters as you gaze into the face of what most people (religious or not) now consider the devil. No pressure, just going to ask for an express ticket to hell. </p>
<p>“Are you going to kill me?” You ask, and the fact your voice is mostly steady surprises you both. The giant tilts its head, as if surprised you weren’t screaming or trying to escape. In fact, your all-over-shakes have lessened considerably, and you almost have some kind of composure back. You mentally high five yourself for a job well done. </p>
<p>“Yes. If you are to start grovelling, now would be the time. I am in a good mood.” The voice says, and you note it’s very clearly male, and gravelly beyond description. It’s not as ‘seventh level of hell’ as you were anticipating, and in some situations you might actually think it could sound nice. That’s weird. </p>
<p>“No, no begging from me. Go ahead.” You state with an exuberant flourish of your hands. The metal behemoth frowns, and you feel a lick of panic at the back of your mind again. </p>
<p>“No? You would have me kill you?” He questions, though it sounds more like an accusation. Like you ruined his party. His murder party. </p>
<p>“Yep, sorry, buddy. Kinda why I’m here, actually. Looking for you. I mean not really you specifically but any uh… bad guy?” </p>
<p>You retract your high five. This is going poorly. He frowns deeper and suddenly dips to get a closer look at you. His face is all you can see now, and the sound of his body becomes even louder. It reminds you of a computer, the hum of electricity and whir of fans ever present as it runs. </p>
<p>“Why do you not run?” He asks, his voice actually seeming softer this time. What? </p>
<p>“Uh… I heard you like killing people. I wanna die. I can’t really get into, like, the specifics because it’s a long story but…” <i>Why are you hesitating?</i> You want to ask. </p>
<p>“There is no pleasure in killing you if that is what you want.”  </p>
<p>Those words send a chill rolling down your spine. They’re dangerous words, and ones that make it sound like once again you’re not going to get what you want. </p>
<p>“However, I know a medic that would enjoy such a challenge as keeping you alive during his experiments.” <i>Oh shit.</i> The siren in your head just broke through your barriers and is absolutely screaming in your head. You hardly lift your foot to take a step back before you’re snatched up into his grasp.</p>
<p>“I have never heard anyone ask to be killed as pathetically as one would beg for their life.” He rumbles, with a dark smirk curling his metal features. </p>
<p>“Well, that’s me… special.” Now there is bitterness in your tone, but it doesn’t last. You’re lightheaded from being lifted several stories in the air so quickly, and you don’t even have the energy to be too snarky. What a shame. </p>
<p>Before you can even think of saying anything else though, you’re laying down on his palm, and his other hand clasps over you. It makes an effective little prison, interlaced fingers blocking out nearly all of the light. Then you’re thrown completely off kilter. The world spins and you’re tossed around as if someone had just thrown you into the dryer and hit infinite spin. The air feels like it’s being sucked from your lungs, and your brain is spilling out of your ears. Mercifully, before you can really register the full level of pain you’re about to be in, you pass out. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>-------------------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The cold wakes you up. A chill runs through you, causing your teeth to clatter and your body to curl even further into the fetal position. As you usually are upon waking up from an inadvertent nap, you have no idea where you are or what’s happening. Your eyes open to near complete darkness, and blink several times, though the scene stays the same. The surface under you is flat, hard, and freezing. Ice tendrils pierce through your simple t-shirt to lick at your skin. After a few moments pass, your sleepy brain finally wakes up enough to kick in. Right, you met up with Metal Satan and he decided to take you for a polite abduction to who-knows-where so you could be tortured by one of his friends. </p>
<p>You’re still in his servo cage it seems. It has enough room for you to sit up, and so you do, now able to push at the interlaced claws and call out “Hey, mister bot man, I’m awake. Can I get a little light or something?” </p>
<p>To your utter shock, the top servo lifts up to let in the dim lighting and the top half of your captor. He hasn’t looked down at you, his eyes fixed on the hallway ahead as he walks, but you get the unsettling feeling that he’s still watching you somehow. You sigh, then lean forward to look off the edge of his palm. </p>
<p>You are really high up. You lived on the sixth floor, you’ve taken the fire escape, you aren’t afraid of heights, but something about how open it is, or the walking, it sends your head spinning and you’re pretty sure you’re going to be sick if you keep staring, so you lean back again… Only to slip from his grasp and fall for a few agonizingly long seconds towards the gray metal ground. You don’t scream, your breath caught in your lungs so quick you merely gasp. You feel the blood rush to your head, as if trying to somehow escape the inevitable sudden stop at the bottom, and you spend a moment, one of your last, thinking of how this reminds you of that amusement park ride where you freefall. Whee. </p>
<p>It isn’t your last thought though (probably for the best, that was stupid) as a clawed servo reaches out with absolutely <i>impossible</i> speed and catches you midair. You’re pretty certain your feet grazed the ground, but then you’re back in his hold, each talon curled around you delicately. It betrays just how unsafe you now realize his grasp truly is. </p>
<p>Panting as your breath returns in one big whoosh, you glare daggers up at the optics clearly glancing down at you. The smirk on his face is so obvious you know for a fact he didn’t try to hide it. Didn’t <i>want</i> to.</p>
<p>“Yeah you’re <i>so</i> funny, asshole.” You spit, knowing the venom in your words does nothing against him. “Is this really what it’s going to be? Psychological torture?” </p>
<p>“Oh, physical too, do not worry.” </p>
<p>You hate how genuine that sounded. His ability to mimic being sweet and soft while undoubtedly being a murder machine and imagining the many ways that a squishy like yourself can die is beyond disturbing. </p>
<p>“I urge you not to forget the vulnerable position you are in, vermin.” He says, as if on cue, and his voice extra low. “There are things we can do to your weak body that will have you begging for death.” </p>
<p>“Whatever. I guess I got what I wanted.” You say this casually as you slump against one of his digits, holding on now just in case he tries that stunt again. It’s only when the sense of being watched intensifies to an irritating level that you look up, and find his face turned toward you. You’re awful at reading expressions on humans, much less metal, but you think he’s actually… confused. </p>
<p>“What?” You ask, now feeling self conscious at your admittance. </p>
<p>“I do not see how that is possible.” He says slowly, almost as if frustrated with this fact. He probably doesn’t like not knowing things, you guess. This makes you ponder whether or not to relieve him or let him suffer, but even trying to explain probably won’t make sense to an alien warlord. </p>
<p>“I know it’s… stupid. But at least something is happening here. Even if it’s just torture… I probably won’t think that afterward but… I just wanted out. And it’s too late now anyway.” You shrug, swallowing down the apprehension reaching out just to remind you it’s there and you aren’t nearly as stoic as you would have it seem. </p>
<p>A long silence follows and you wonder how big this place must be if you’re still walking before he suddenly speaks.</p>
<p>“My designation is Megatron. You will address me as such. Or your lord, liege, highness, god.”</p>
<p>You can’t stop the snort before it’s already out and you’re nearly snickering. “Yessir, for sure, going to do that.” You mock. His grip tightens enough to knock the air out of your lungs and you gasp. Not that you didn’t see it coming. </p>
<p>“Be careful, insect, my patience is thin and you are testing it nearly as well as Starscream.”</p>
<p>You wonder who that is for a split second before your idiot brain kicks in. Perhaps it’s the lack of air, but as soon as you suck in a breath, your first words are “Yes, daddy.” </p>
<p>His expression is understandably confused for a moment, before he actually accepts that as an appropriate response. “Good,” he breathes, loosening his grip. You almost lose your goddamn mind, and have to hide your grinning and snickering by pressing your face into the digit you’re clutching, body shaking with the effort. It’s probably the thought you’re going to be tortured to death that’s driving you to near hysteria, but you really can’t be bothered to give a shit right now. </p>
<p>Mercifully, you reach whatever room Megatron was heading towards all this time. The automatic slide of the door catches your attention, and you watch the sleek, perfectly polished metal disappear to reveal a new room. It’s just as sci-fi as you would expect from aliens, but not nearly as dramatic. It seems to be some sort of medical office, with instruments of varying horror movie degrees strewn about on the countertops and what you can only assume is a bed. It also has not been cleaned, with the same blue blood you had seen before now all over the bed and a few instruments, though the room is empty of its source. The smell is strange. Like gasoline but if it was sour. You don’t know how that is, but it makes your nose scrunch up. Even Megatron seems to be irritated. He says nothing, but is clearly pissed as he suddenly sets you down, or rather tosses you, onto the counter. You end up sitting as he suddenly disappears outside the door again. </p>
<p>For the first time on this new journey, you’re alone. The cold air hits you hard while out in the open, and you pull your legs close to your body to conserve heat. The knot of apprehension has turned into a small ball of dread sitting firmly below your chest, as if ready to stomp on your stomach and bring back the nausea you’d just rid yourself of. It does look bleak though. For some reason you really thought you weren’t going to end up with the medic on the torture table, but here you are. Just waiting for the reenactment of Saw to start. Or maybe Operation would be a better analogy.</p>
<p>You look at your watch after several minutes, only to find it isn’t ticking. You shake your arm (as if that would help) before huffing in resignation. The waiting makes everything so much worse. Minutes feel like hours feel like an eternity. The cold only gets worse and you wish it would just take you already instead of teasing like it is. </p>
<p>The door opens finally, the soft noise causing your head to whip around and a small peep to escape your lips. To your surprise though, it’s Megatron who returns. His form is not nearly as relaxed though. Even when you had seen him out on the street he had looked somehow at ease. You guessed he had just gone to yell at someone though, telling them to clean up their shit. </p>
<p>Your guess is confirmed by the blue goo dripping from his hand as he reaches out to pick you up. You swallow thickly before maneuvering into his hold. You’re quiet this time as he exits the room and walks down the hallway. Without conversation, or nearly falling to your death to distract you, you notice more turns, more curves, and eventually there are even doors in the hallway. You have no idea what kind of security system runs them, but you assume there is a clearance system from this point on. </p>
<p>
  <i>Passed the point of no return.</i>
</p>
<p>The walk seems shorter though, because three doors and a few turns away from the medical lab, you reach a wider area. There are screens of a very appealing pink-purple color on the furthest wall across from you, and what seems to be a walkway hanging over dark nothingness leading to it. You grip his servo a little tighter without realizing it. </p>
<p>“I thought you were not afraid?” Megatron asks, clear mockery in his tone. You’re almost relieved that his extra-cold exterior hasn’t denied you the opportunity to shoot your mouth off. </p>
<p>“I’m not, my body is.” You correct adamantly. “You think I have control over this meat sack? It does what it wants. My mind is another matter though. Go ahead, hurl me, let’s see how far I go.” You want to punctuate this by standing up, but your legs refuse that command too, as if proving your point. You wonder if they know by now that you’re self-destructing. </p>
<p>“That is tempting,” he says very genuinely, as if he has imagined the act and agreed it would be a sight. “But I do not believe we have had our fun yet.” </p>
<p>Your head tilts to the side and your brows furrow in confusion. “Wait… us? I thought you were handing me off to some creepy medic?” </p>
<p>“Would you rather I do that? It is not too late.” </p>
<p>“No, I wanted to stay with you.” You say this far, <i>far</i> too quickly, and even though you’re talking to a murderous non-human, your face heats up with an embarrassed blush. “I mean… I wanted you to kill me from the beginning. Obviously. So there are… better odds of that, if I stay with you.” </p>
<p>“I am flattered.” He says in a tone that says he is not really flattered at all, and calling you on some major bullshit. You just look away, failing terribly at hiding your pout. Megatron ignores it and keeps walking on toward the terminals to sit in what you would only describe as a metal throne. To your surprise, he lifts you up and puts you on his shoulder. It’s a challenge at first to get a grip and not impale yourself on something or go sliding off, but considering he’s sitting still now it isn’t impossible. You look up at the screens once seated and see the equivalent of many monitors of a computer, though the language they depict is none you’ve ever seen before.</p>
<p>“Is this your language?” You ask, gesturing to the hollo-screens despite the fact he isn’t watching you. </p>
<p>“Yes.” He answers with no hesitation. “Cybertronian. One of the few things left of our planet.” </p>
<p>Oh, that’s right. That was the whole reason the aliens were on earth in the first place, wasn’t it? The ravages of war and… probably other stuff killed their planet. Figures they’d wind up on one of the apparently few other inhabited planets within the universe to finish out their fighting on. </p>
<p>“That’s too bad.” You say finally, softly. “It looks really pretty. Would you… say something in it, for me to hear?” </p>
<p>“No.” The answer is quick, <i>too quick.</i> As if you’ve hit a nerve. All you do is nod and move closer to his helm. He side eyes you for an instant, but you don’t think much of it. In truth, you’re just trying to find some sort of warmth. His armor has none as you’ve gathered, but you see a few spots where there are seams and overlaps. You try to move toward them, what seems to be a black underbody below made of cables and wires and other things that will probably electrocute you, but before you can grasp one of them and see if you fry, Megatron’s hand snaps up and pulls you away. His grip is too tight, and though you can still breath, even an inch of movement is restricted. It’s uncomfortable and hurts in the spots his angular digits dig into your flesh. Enough you believe you’ll have bruises soon.  </p>
<p>“What are you doing?” He hisses, optics narrowed dangerously at you. At first you’re at a loss for words. </p>
<p>“I… uh, sorry, I just.. I’m cold. And you’re not very warm. I mean your armor, shell, whatever isn’t.” You explain, badly. It seems to be enough to quell some of his anger at least. He moves you instead to his lap. </p>
<p>“When I put you somewhere, you <b>stay,</b> do you understand?” He growls, and you automatically try to limit your movement on his thigh. His voice is so commanding you’ve forgotten you don’t care if you put yourself at risk. </p>
<p>“Yes.” You say with a nod, but when his optics land on you absolutely ablaze, you quickly correct yourself. “Yes, daddy.” You say, forcing your smile to be sweet and submissive instead of smug. It’s difficult, but you appear to succeed when his optics return to the screens ahead. He begins tapping on characters, apparently typing. You watch for a few moments, but then begin to grow sleepy. </p>
<p>Wait. Is his… is it warm now? You wonder this to yourself and your half-lidded eyes widen. Yep. The spot you’re sitting on is heating up like some kind of luxury massage chair, complete with the steady rumble of his body nearly rocking you to sleep. It isn’t unpleasantly hot, but extremely comfortable. You lay down with a satisfied moan, trying to get as much of the surface to touch your body as possible. You didn’t expect this at all given how he reacted only a moment ago, but you’re not going to question his act of care. The underbody is probably a weakness he thought you were going to exploit, so some anger was fair. </p>
<p>You let out another sigh, and decide that instead of thinking about anything, you’re going to go to sleep. It isn’t hard with the ambience and heater beneath you, allowing a swift drift into dreamland.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. A New Kind of Pain</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>You meet Starscream. It goes poorly.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Beware - this chapter contains some violence! I don’t consider it graphic so I’m not yet going to change the tag of the overall work, but if you’re squeamish please use your own discretion. </p>
<p>That aside, I’m happy to have another chapter out so soon! I’m hoping to get a handful done in quick succession, while the inspiration is here </p>
<p>Enjoy :3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The world is white. Stark white. It should be blinding, but it doesn’t hurt. You try to lift your hand but you can’t see anything, and don’t know whether you actually did or not. You try to move your legs and take a step, but your feet are heavy, as if you’re waist deep in water and trying to walk along the sandy ocean floor. It takes all the effort you can muster to take a measly two steps before a voice catches your attention. You’re almost grateful you get to stop fighting with your limbs. </p>
<p>It’s straight ahead of you, and it sounds like screaming. At first it’s a woman, wailing in agony. Then the sound shifts, the tone becomes lower, and it’s a man. He’s moaning and whimpering in pain. You’ve never heard anything like it, the way their voices tear through you and leave you in shreds, feeling every bit of their pain. They’re dying. They have to be to feel like this.</p>
<p>You want the sound to stop, <i>oh god, please</i>, but it doesn’t. It shifts again until it’s a child’s voice, screaming bloody murder. Every part of your body suddenly hurts and you know you’re crying with them, wailing as you try even harder to move in their direction. You want to help, to ease their pain. To take it upon yourself because you can't bear it one second longer. It’s your fault. You know it is, you feel it seep from your bones like poison. Guilt. </p>
<p>Grey specks start to come into your vision, peppered along the edges and breaking up the solid white. You pause, then keep moving, and notice they’re suspended in the air like dirty snow. You keep walking. You need to get to the voices, to save them. It’s all that matters. </p>
<p>Shapes start to form; towering rectangles you recognize easily as skyscrapers. </p>
<p>But everything is wrong. </p>
<p>It isn’t snow in the air. It’s ash and dust. The buildings are carcasses, scarred and baring their rebar bones. The screaming has only gotten louder and it still lilts through different genders and ages, but you see no one. </p>
<p>No one human. </p>
<p>Through the ash you see lights begin to appear. There’s dozens of them, and they’re all that beautiful garnet red. It chills you to your core. Then you see a familiar face, Megatron’s. When had he become so recognizable? You would know him just by his optics alone, that particular shade and brightness etched into your memory so well that he’s more clear than anything else in front of you. Like you could touch him. </p>
<p>But you don’t, you won’t, because he’s impossibly angry. He bares those shark teeth and growls like a possessed animal before he lunges for you. You begin to scream, your voice meeting and combining with the violent melody of pain and fear all around you. </p>
<p>Still screaming, you bolt upright to stare into a dark room. You start panting immediately, nearly hyperventilating, and you feel a cold sweat raise the hair on the back of your neck. <i>It was a dream.</i> You tell yourself this over and over as you begin to slowly calm your breathing, and distract yourself by looking around the new room. You know you’re still in the mech’s lair, as everything is ten times bigger. There are shelves but scarcely anything on them, and a desk with an access terminal similar to those you saw before, but much smaller. In the middle of the wall a bed is mounted, though there doesn’t seem to be any bedding on it. You notice then that you’re situated on some sort of metal shelf just left of the bed. It’s more than big enough for you. </p>
<p>Then you realize you aren’t cold. In fact, you’re exceptionally cozy, even with the cold sweat bathing your skin. Looking down, you notice you’re covered in a black blanket that resembles a sleeping bag, but it’s heated. You run your fingers over the soft fabric and smile. They managed to find something to keep you warm, something even nicer than you had at home. The thought makes you just a little giddy, and the guilt threatens to return. </p>
<p>It’s short lived, since the door suddenly opens and every thought of comfort vanishes. There’s another mechanical being in the doorway, but it’s one you don’t recognize, not that you’ve actually met anyone outside of Megatron. It has similar red eyes to him, though you think they’re a shade lighter, and the wings protruding from its back are the next thing to catch your eye. The fact it can take a step through the doorway at all just reminds you how big everything is. </p>
<p>And how impossible it would be for you to escape, which you’re thinking you should. Something about the look in its eyes sits horribly wrong with you, as if you’ve just accepted a ride from a stranger and they’re driving in the wrong direction. They mean you harm, or at the very least, they’re dangerous and you definitely shouldn’t be in the same room, much less alone with them. </p>
<p>The next few things happen so quickly you can’t believe they’re happening even as they unfold. You jump up from your makeshift bed and vault yourself off the shelf, landing upon the berth with a dull, metallic thunk. It makes your ankles burn, but you don’t have time to focus on it, as the stranger has quickened their efforts seeing that you’re trying to make a run for it. They swipe for you with surprising agility, missing you by hardly a hair as you jump from the berth to the floor, and swiftly run underneath it. You look out and see that the door is still open. You just have to get past them, and then you can… what? Try to outrun them? Every one of their steps is fifty of yours, you stand no chance. Still, you decide to try. It’s a better option than being swiped at under the berth and cowering. </p>
<p>“No need to hide, insect.” The sickeningly sweet voice says. It’s also masculine, but much more grating and obnoxious than Megatron’s. You sneer and line yourself up between his huge pedes, sights set on the opening beyond. You know there isn’t time to hesitate, because in a second he’s going to kneel to look under the berth and you have absolutely nowhere to hide. You have to go now. You have to <i>run.</i> So you do, as fast as your legs and complaining ankles can carry you. </p>
<p>In an incredible feat of speed, you actually do make it through his legs, and he doesn’t have time to make a swipe for you before you cross the small distance between his body and the door. You keep running, not even stopping to consider going left or right once in the hallway. It would take too much time to try and turn, so you keep going straight and pray for some opening, a door you can slip through, or another room you can hide in. </p>
<p>You have no such luck. There’s nothing but lengths of hallway and sparse doors, all of which are closed. In those few precious moments your company has started after you, and his steps cover all of your hard earned distance in a fraction of the time. You’re out of options. Your lungs are screaming for air and your legs burn because you’ve never run so long or so hard in your entire life, but then the rumble of footsteps become painfully loud, and he makes a grab for you. </p>
<p>Naturally you try to dodge, swerving quickly to the side knowing you can’t backpedal on a dime, but he’s too close and adjusts his aim with ease. You end up in his servo, which is far less accommodating than Megatron’s ever had been. He squeezes so tight you can only manage shallow breaths and your lungs beg for more, the need for oxygen ripping through all of your muscles. All he allows you to do is hyperventilate. You gaze up at his face and see that burning stare, and you’re quite sure he’s going to squeeze the life out of you right then and there just for his own amusement. Then his expression changes. His optics seem to unfocus, like they’re looking at you but not really seeing anything. </p>
<p>His voice catches you by surprise. “Yes, lord Megatron.” He says out of nowhere, and your last coherent brain cell puts together that they must have some sort of built in communication system, and he had just been contacted. His servo with you in it drops to his side as he continues to walk down the hall, and you deeply resent being carried like something that isn’t actually living and capable of getting dizzy. Which you do, forced to watch his legs carry you both to an unknown location, though at least it’s toward Megatron. And you aren’t immediately about to be squished. You couldn’t help but not want to be killed by this mech, your disdain for him immediately overruling all desire to die. Not by his servo. </p>
<p>Just when you’d regained a somewhat normal breathing rhythm, you hear the door in front of you slide open, and you look to see what this new room holds. It’s harder to place things when you’re sideways and nearly upside down, but you can tell the room is expansive, likely the biggest you’ve seen yet. You’d thought the seat before the terminals had looked like a throne, but you politely rescind that statement, because what Megatron sits on now is without a doubt a true throne. It towers over even his large body as he sits, and completely dominates the room. It has spikes coming from all sides, jagged, angular metal that you’re sure would cut you just by staring at it too long. There also appears to be carvings on the front, and on the backrest. You can’t quite make them out, but some might be cybertronian. You wonder what it says and assume it’s some version of “I’m a boss ass bitch” but in their language. </p>
<p>“It was trying to escape, my liege.” The irritating voice says, and you’re finally lifted up to be level with the ground once again, allowing your blood to rush back to where it’s supposed to be. </p>
<p>“Is that so?” Megatron responds, his voice far more growly than you’ve heard it before. You look to him and meet his gaze, but his expression is eerily blank aside from some form of irritation you think is his default. </p>
<p>“Yes, surely taking our information from the terminal with it.” He says lowly, entirely serious. You can’t help your outburst. </p>
<p>“Seriously? I was <i>sleeping</i>. And where am I supposed to be hiding this information, huh? My memory is shit, and I don’t have a usb stick shoved up my ass. Not all of us can be you.” </p>
<p>The mech’s optics flare, burning brighter as if he’s trying to set you on fire with his gaze alone. You think you hear a sound from behind you, and turn to look at Megatron. His expression is the same once your eyes focus, but you think you caught a just a hint of a curl to his lip out of the corner of your eye. Just your imagination... probably. </p>
<p>“Escape was not part of the deal. I told you to stay. Punishment is in order.” He says before his optics flit up to your captor. “Kill them. Slowly.”</p>
<p><i>Wait, what?</i> Your eyes go wide and you look between Megatron and the mech about to continue where you left off in the hallway, and see a sickening grin spread on their features. He’s going to kill you for running for your life? That’s new. </p>
<p>“With pleasure, lord Megatron.” He says again, that sweet lilt back to his voice. It takes less than a second for his grip to tighten further, and it was already deeply uncomfortable. You can’t help but imagine each of his large digits as coils of a constrictor you read about once, and briefly imagine the air being pushed from your lungs as your body slowly crushes itself, inch by agonizing inch. </p>
<p>Nope, you’re abandoning that line of thought. That is not how you’re spending your last moments. You look around and instead notice something you should’ve seen long before now. You can see stars. Literal stars, out from a long narrow window that follows the edge of the half-circle room. Up until then you had assumed you were still on earth, but by the way they subtly shift by the window, you have to believe you’re in space, and moving. </p>
<p>You’re on a ship. </p>
<p>Even if you can’t breathe, that still strikes you as amazing. Even if you are going to die to this loser, at least you’re doing it in an incredible place. It works well to distract your mind and lead you to a familiar line of questioning as you look out to the twinkling stars and planets. Where will you go, once your body gives out? You set your eyes on a particularly bright star and wonder, will there be nothing beyond this? You’d never really minded that idea too much; having an infinite nap. God knows you could use one. Never feeling tired again sounds excellent right about now. </p>
<p>The grip closes further and you can feel your ribs bend painfully. Maybe this isn’t the end. You also kind of liked the idea of reincarnation. What you wanted to be in the next life always changed whenever you considered it, but this time you settle on starfish. You’d be content to stroll the bottom of the ocean, bask in the sun on warm rocks, grow back limbs, and pose for pictures taken by tourists as you make a home in a colorful coral reef. </p>
<p>Sudden and overwhelming relief washes over you like a high, lessening the pain enough that you can smile. Your eyes are blurred by tears now, but it’s not just the pain. You make a point to look at Megatron, and you can’t help but let out a strangled laugh. You aren’t afraid. You’re <i>excited</i> and soon you’ll be on a new adventure. Megatron’s expression doesn’t change, but you barely notice that before your ribs give way to the pressure and break. Your eyes snap shut and whatever air you have left in your lungs is let out in a leading-actress-in-a-horror-movie scream. </p>
<p>The pain takes over your senses, blood pounding in your head and a ringing muting all sounds around you. The pain demands to be felt and you can’t ignore it any longer. Even your ankles remind you they aren’t happy with that stunt you pulled, and you truly hurt from head to toe. You move your arms to hug yourself, but while the action feels natural, it doesn’t help whatsoever in lessening your pain, if anything it makes it worse. </p>
<p>Except the fact you even can do pull off such an action, and the fact your every breath causes sharp shooting pain in your chest, actually serves to tell you that you can breathe. You can breathe and there isn’t a servo around you anymore. You’re laying down now, writhing on another cold piece of metal. The ringing in your ears subsides enough you can make out the tail end of what’s happening behind you. </p>
<p>“... touch what is mine again, Starscream. Am I understood?” Megatron’s voice is dangerous, enough so that you get goosebumps. The sound that follows, that of metal being crushed which you’d only ever heard at one of those vehicle compacting facilities, screeches through the room. The noise fills the space and your ears, making you try to bury your face into the metal to escape it. </p>
<p>“Yes, my liege.” Comes a strangled, staticky response, which you hardly even recognize as the smug voice of the other mech. So that’s Starscream. You completely understand now why Megatron said what he did when you met. </p>
<p>You register a door closing, and the thought that you might be alone allows for a quiet sob to leave your lips. You’d managed to valiantly swallow most of the pain, but you’re growing weary. It’s then that you feel a cool piece of metal graze over your cheek. It moves your hair from your sight and unsticks it from your lips, which you’re grateful for as you’re still trying to catch your breath while not aggravating your broken bones. </p>
<p>Your eyes just barely open enough to see the distorted figure of Megatron. His face isn’t within your field of view, but you can see his equivalent of a chest sitting right beside you. The position suddenly makes sense when you put the pieces together and decide you’re laying on the armrest of the throne he had been sitting on before. Relief comes again, albeit in a much smaller dose, as it’s his servo that moves over you. He gently rolls you onto your back and you whimper, your arms still locked around your midsection protectively. Now you can see his optics trained on you, and you meet his gaze. Now that you’re alone with him, you notice much more expression. He looks pleased. </p>
<p>“How serious are your injuries?” He rumbles. His voice is soft but the bass is impossible to restrain. It rolls over you and your eyes close as you bask in it. </p>
<p>“I’ll- I’ll live.” You croak, your mouth so dry even those two words are a challenge. </p>
<p>“Do you need to see a human medic?” He asks, and your eyes snap open to gawk at him. Even through your pained expression you know you look surprised. How could he even suggest such a thing? <i>You’re in space?</i> What, you’re going to pop down for a quick visit to the E.R., toted by your murderous savior? </p>
<p>Your running thoughts, which he may as well be able to read, amuses him further as he lets out a low hum. Before he can jump in and say “psych, you actually thought we’d get you help?” you try to beat him to the punch. </p>
<p>“I’m fine, thanks.” You spit out, trying to wet your lips to no avail. </p>
<p>Then he picks you up and you let out as much of a scream as your lungs can manage, the movement unexpected and so painful that white bursts behind your eyes, and then red as you clamp them shut as hard as physically possible. </p>
<p>“Rest, little one.” Megatron says, though with your head swimming like it is, you dismiss it as a hallucination. The pain is too much and too sharp and your world goes black for good as your brain decides its really had enough agony for one day. </p>
<p>_________________________________________</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The light hurts. It hurts like a white hot poker pressed to your eyes and setting every nerve in your brain alight. You moan automatically but that hurts too. So does breathing. Everything hurts, basically, and you want to fall back into your dreamless sleep so badly you can taste it, but you know already that won’t be happening. </p>
<p>You lay there in resignation for a long time, but after your pain fades to a tolerable level, you grit your teeth and open your eyes. The white hot pain is worse for a moment, but then subsides. Huh, not bad as you were expecting, though it does strike you as odd. Even more odd is the fact that every place you’d been before this point had grim, dreary lighting, and this room is a bright clinical white. You psych yourself up to move your head and do so in small increments. You look to the right first, and are shocked to see something familiar. It’s the countertop you had been tossed onto when you first arrived. This place seems clinical because it is. It’s the medical lab. </p>
<p>Fear replaces your pain and you quickly sit up, making your head throb, but you ignore it as best you can. You glance down at yourself and find that you aren’t split open and being experimented on. Though you are shirtless and the fact mortifies you, bandages have been wrapped around your entire midsection, leaving you covered enough to avoid embarrassment. That’s a good start. You feel something rub at your arm and look over to see an IV line has been placed there and taped down, just the same as any hospital would. Your hand goes to your ribs, and with a deep, painful breath, you slowly press down on one. It hurts, it hurts like a roundhouse kick to the chest, but you feel no cracking or grinding. Despite the fact you were absolutely, one hundred percent positive your ribs had broken, they seem only to be fractured. </p>
<p>“There’s sleeping beauty.” A new voice says, tearing your attention away from your body. A mech has entered the room and stares at you with bright red eyes. These ones are full of life, curious and dangerous, but in a different sense than you’ve seen so far. The red on his body also catches you off guard. It shines like it’s just been freshly polished, but the surprising thing is that you can very clearly tell what this one turns into based on the headlights on his chest and tires on his back. The fact he’s some sort of ground vehicle explains why he’s much smaller than Megatron, and to a lesser degree Starscream. </p>
<p>“Does my beauty have you tongue tied, little mouse?” He purrs, having noticed you’re basically checking him out. He steps closer, resting his arms on the berth in front of you. It doesn’t take much for him to lean down and overtake your vision. </p>
<p>“Yeah, a bit.” You admit, your voice hoarse but your mouth not quite as dry as it had been. </p>
<p>“Correct answer.” He purrs again, though less with his voice and more with his body. There’s a lull where you continue ogling, eyes trained on the finials on each side of his helm. “Well? Aren’t you going to thank Doctor Knockout for saving you?” He asks impatiently, leaning back a little and narrowing his optics. </p>
<p>“This was you?” You ask, glancing pointedly down at your body. </p>
<p>“No, Breakdown did it.” His voice is purposely dull, accentuating just how stupid your question sounds aloud. You don’t know who that is and at this point you don’t want to.  </p>
<p>You can’t help but roll your eyes, and the humor makes you smile despite everything. “Thank you so much, Doctor Knockout!” You suddenly whine, a hand raising to lay over your heart dramatically. “I’d be a goner without you!” </p>
<p>It surprises you that he isn’t entirely offended by your sarcasm and drama, and his eyes flash with mischief. “You would be. And you’d be in a hell of a lot more pain without those human drugs I had lying around. You’re lucky.” His last words are more genuine and you can’t help but nod. </p>
<p>“Seems that way.” You admit softly before a thought occurs to you. “Did… Megatron bring me here?” </p>
<p>“Yeah, obviously. Told me to do whatever I could to keep you alive, which wasn’t that hard, even though you’re a weakling.” He sounds almost bored with this fact, as if he would’ve been happier if you were more injured and he could’ve shown off his life-saving skills better. </p>
<p>You’re too busy thinking about Megatron to be unnerved for long. Your brows furrow and you bring a hand up to rub at your forehead. Even with whatever drugs you got, you’re still in pain, and thinking worsens your growing headache. </p>
<p>“Wait… so he… Megatron is he, like… your boss?” You ask, thinking of your last few memories before you passed out, and how he had scolded Starscream. Now Knockout was following his orders too. </p>
<p>“He’s all of our boss.” He answers without hesitation. Your eyes go wide. </p>
<p>“Like… the leader? Megatron is the leader?” You hardly have the energy to make your incredulous statements into questions. </p>
<p>“Yeah. How didn’t you know that? I get he doesn’t go down to earth much but he acts like the boss. Doesn’t take a genius to figure it out.” </p>
<p>You scowl at his insult. “How could I have known? I only met him and then Starscream when he almost killed me. And I’ve been here and conscious for, like, a day total.” Knockout just shrugs his bulky shoulders and stands up again, going over to where your IV line ends and adjusts something. </p>
<p>“Hey, like I said, you’re lucky. As long as you stay on his good side you won’t get hurt. Nobody would be stupid enough to fuck with his pet.” </p>
<p>Your heart skips a beat, making you lean over and clutch your chest.  Had you done something to make Megatron mad then? Is that why he almost let Starscream kill you? Did he really believe that you were trying to escape? Or worse yet, a spy? </p>
<p>“He… he told Starscream to kill me. Why am I still alive?” You ask softly, since Knockout so far has been forthcoming and surprisingly willing to talk to you. </p>
<p>“Don’t know.” You hear him shrug this time, the machinery on his shoulders giving a pleasant creak. “Maybe it was some sort of test. I heard you’re weird and that’s why he’s keeping you around.” </p>
<p>This time, you’re glad for his insult. You smile and let out a soft laugh, even though it hurts. “You got me there, I am that.” </p>
<p>A soft click and a hiss make you turn your head, but Knockout is already coming back to you. He comes to your side and lifts your arm with impressive ease and tenderness. Your eyes widen as you watch him delicately pull the needle from your vein, and then press a large swath of gauze onto it. </p>
<p>“You really are good at this…” You mumble as he lets go and allows you to bring your arm up and hug your bandaged body.</p>
<p>“I know.” He says with a smirk. “Megatron said to bring you back once you were awake, so try and get up.” </p>
<p>You want to argue with that, not just because you don’t want to get up, but because you’re a little afraid of facing Megatron now. But you also want to test and see what you’re capable of, so you comply. It isn’t that hard to stand, but your head does cause you to pause once you’re upright. You close your eyes and take as deep a breath as you can manage. Knockout says nothing, and simply holds out his servo expectantly. You know what to do by now, and crawl into his palm, kneeling and holding onto one of his digits. The size difference strikes you again, as your little body takes up most of his palm, and you can actually see overtop of his fingers when he starts walking. The flip your stomach does at the view makes you long for Megatron’s hold, and you clamp your eyes shut. </p>
<p>“Afraid of heights, mouse?” Knockout hums, and you can hear the dark pleasure he gets from your discomfort. You open your eyes just to throw as sharp a glare at him as you can. </p>
<p>“No. The movement makes me sick.” You explain, still adamant that the height has nothing to do with it. He doesn’t believe you, you can <i>feel</i> the amusement oozing from his every seam, but he says no more. </p>
<p>The walk isn’t very long, and you remember much of the path from the first time. Each door and turn somewhat familiar. Except Knockout keeps walking. You frown, glancing at the door you ran out of who-knows-how-long-ago, because time doesn’t exist in space apparently. </p>
<p>“Where are we going?” You venture to ask.</p>
<p>“To Megatron.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I know that part, smartass.” You quip, and see he raises an optical ridge. </p>
<p>“That’s all you <i>need</i> to know.” </p>
<p>You fear he’s right. Since you’ll never get the chance to walk these halls alone, you’ll never need to know where you’re going. Not that you could anyway- walking from one room to another would probably take you a few days at your pace. Relenting, you slump down and grow quiet, letting his metallic footsteps be the only thing you focus on. </p>
<p>Right until another set of footsteps draws your attention. You look up, and see, of all the faces you could possibly see, <i>Starscream</i> heading toward you, murder shining brighter than ever in his optics.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Quality Time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well this chapter gave me a bit of trouble, but hopefully you guys enjoy it! </p>
<p>As always feel free to leave a comment with any thoughts~</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You aren’t sure how to react. The instinctual part of you says you should duck down into Knockout’s servo, hide, and let him deal with Starscream on his own. The other part, the <i>stupid</i> part, says to meet him head on and tell him to eat shit. While still staying very safely behind Knockout’s metal digits, of course. You go with the latter, and raise yourself up onto your knees with a scowl. Unfortunately you can’t match the fire in Starscream’s optics, but your irritation provides a defense and you’re able to avoid shrinking back when you meet his heated gaze. </p>
<p>You get a good look for the first time and see his shoulder is leaking, and the metal looks twisted and gouged. Still, the blue is appealing as ever, and you can’t help but think it looks like someone spilled their fancy cocktail drink all over him. The picture makes your lips curl into a smug smirk. </p>
<p>“Drop that rodent and fix this.” Starscream growls, his attention shifting to Knockout. His voice isn’t as stiff as you remember it being, so you figure he’s done something to bite back the pain. Maybe they have some kind of robo-morphine. </p>
<p>It’s then that you notice his optics are back on you, and he’s probably 0.2 seconds away from swatting you out of Knockout’s hand directly onto the floor. You grip the servo a little tighter and glare, trying to convey “try it bitch” as well as you can through eye movements. </p>
<p>“Megatron requested me, you’ll have to wait.” Knockout says while hiding exactly zero of the irritation in his tone. You like him for that fact alone. </p>
<p>“He won’t know. I need assistance immediately! Don’t you see this?” He gestures angrily to his shoulder, and you notice the arm on his injured side hasn’t moved this entire time. It’s a beautiful, poetic justice that he can’t move the same arm he almost strangled you with. </p>
<p>“Yeah, I see you’re making a mess.” Knockout says as he takes a step to the side, intending to walk past him and continue down the hallway. Starscream moves to block his path yet again and you can feel the servo around you tighten. Knockout doesn’t come off as the type that would let that sort of challenge go, yet Starscream persists. </p>
<p>“You’re going to help me, <b>now.</b>” He growls all too close. You’re pretty sure you hear Knockouts denta grit in an attempt not to punch him out of the way. </p>
<p>“Look, this won’t take long. Go wait in my lab. You can… find some hi-grade in the cupboard. You’ll probably need it for what I have to do anyway.” </p>
<p>Oh, how you’d like to see Starscream squirm as he gets his body repaired. You could sit by with popcorn, invite Megatron over and lounge on his shoulder. You silently hope Knockout doesn’t take it easy on him, for revenge on both your behalfs, and that there isn’t such a thing as robo-morphine. </p>
<p>As if he can hear your thoughts, Starscream’s gaze snaps back to you. “Don’t think I’ve forgotten that this is your fault. Once this is fixed, I’ll be coming for you.” </p>
<p>“Try it, baby back bitch.” You spit, meeting his optics and throwing up your middle finger. Knockout seems to like that judging by the soft snort that comes from behind you, and Starscream is so heated you can hear his fans kick up a notch. Knockout must give him a warning look though, since he stomps off down the hallway growling. Then you hear a loud thud as he punches the wall. You look back to see a significant dent in the metal and swallow back your apprehension. You just told him to try and kill you. That should be fun. </p>
<p>As Knockout starts walking again you slump into his palm and sigh. “He’s going to kill me in my sleep, isn’t he?” </p>
<p>“Didn’t you hear a thing I said? You belong to Megatron. If Starscream hurts you without permission it’s going to be worse than a torn shoulder.” </p>
<p>You have a hard time believing him, until you realize you’re basically Megatron’s hamster. Yeah, that checks out. You really aren’t ready to see your owner just yet either actually, but you don’t get a choice in the matter. Knockout has slowed down in front of yet another door. How they can navigate this place when everything looks the same you’ll never know, though you figure they have some kind of internal mapping system. </p>
<p>Instead of the door slipping open at his approach though, as they always have before, this one stays sealed. Knockout instead raps his metal knuckle on the door three quick times. A moment passes, and then it opens. Inside is a room like none you’ve seen yet. It’s a bedroom, that much you can recognize at a glance, but it’s much larger and fuller than the one you had been resting in previously. The screens are present here, still smaller than the main room, but there are more and it’s a prominent feature, seeing as they’re the only real light in the room. </p>
<p>And standing before them, backlit to accentuate his impressive silhouette, is Megatron. A chill goes down your spine but you make a concentrated effort not to react outwardly. No words are exchanged, Knockout simply walks across the room and deposits you onto the counter. He’s aware of your injuries at least, allowing you to land on your own and brace yourself before you hit the metal. He gives a near bow and doesn’t wait for any acknowledgement before he makes a quick exit, your eyes trained on his back as he goes. </p>
<p>Megatron hasn’t looked away from the screens and still doesn’t, allowing you time to sink onto your knees and sit. The silence should be awkward, and you’re nervous, but you also find it allows you to relax. He obviously isn’t mad with you… right? </p>
<p>You’re staring at a crack in one of his shoulder panels when he turns, and your eyes are set on his broad chest. The light washes over his form and you’re overwhelmed by just how lovely it makes him look. The purple highlights every angle and curve, glinting off of the sharp and soft metallic edges alike. It compliments his silver form, and even dampens the red of his optics, making them appear a beautiful magenta. Your breath hitches and sticks in your lungs, frozen and painful against your ribs. Meeting his eye was a mistake. </p>
<p>He leans down and his face is right in front of yours, so close you can feel each ex-vent. It’s clear that he’s looking you over, examining the bandages now covering your body. You’d almost forgotten you had no shirt on. Automatically your arms cross over your chest in an attempt to retain some dignity under his scrutiny, but as soon as you do his optics narrow. A talon comes forward and pulls your arms away, and you go along with it because you know he could rip them off without even trying. Again you’re surprised, because the touch of his servo is light, no harder than a human hand would be. He moves it down from the top of your bandages until it reaches your pants. You let out the breath you’d been holding in a gasp, automatically squirming, though it isn’t from pain. You’d love to pretend it is.  </p>
<p>“So fragile.” Megatron hums, and you can’t place his tone. Is it mockery again? Pity? Idle curiosity? The cold metal is suddenly on your cheek and your eyes raise up to meet his. </p>
<p>“Have you learned your lesson?” He asks in the same mysterious tone. </p>
<p>“I didn’t- I wasn’t trying to escape.” You say quickly, recalling all the things Starscream had accused you of. “Or steal, or anything. I was asleep until just before Starscream came barging in.” Your disgust is evident as his name rolls off your tongue, but Megatron’s lip quirks into a tiny smirk. </p>
<p>“That wasn’t the lesson.” The tip of his claw moves from your cheek to your neck and presses expertly above the artery. You can almost see the metal rise and fall with your heartbeat, which has to be far faster than is healthy, if the pounding in your chest is anything to judge by. </p>
<p>When you don’t respond, your face knit with confusion, he goes on. “Your life is mine. I control when and how you die.” He sounds serious. He looks serious. You can only continue staring.</p>
<p>“You… want me? To keep me?” The disbelief in your voice is painfully evident. </p>
<p>“I saved you, did I not?” </p>
<p>“Y-Yes… but you also told him to kill me, so…” </p>
<p>He growls and urges you down onto your back, which you have absolutely no will to fight. The same digit presses at your chest and you know it draws blood, making you wince. </p>
<p>“You are mine. Perhaps I should mark you as a reminder?” The tip drags down an inch and tears your skin with it. You gasp and raise your hands up to flail on either side of his finger. </p>
<p>“No, nope, I get the point. Seriously. If uh… if that’s what you want, then that’s cool with me.” </p>
<p>“What is it the humans put on their pets to claim them? Collars?” </p>
<p>You cannot believe he just said that. He couldn’t possibly mean that. Your eyes are as wide as saucers and your face is on fire. He’s barely said ten words to you and you’re already a pathetic, writhing mess in need of a strong drink.  </p>
<p>“You do not seem to be cold now.” Oh that’s definitely teasing in his voice. You pout and push at his finger, though it doesn’t move and you don’t expect it to. </p>
<p>“You’re teasing me. I can’t help it.” </p>
<p>“If that is all it takes, then I will tease you instead of finding you adequate clothes.” </p>
<p>“N-No, clothes would be nice! I’ll even take the collar if it comes with a shirt and… maybe a blanket.” </p>
<p>“Do not push your luck.” He rumbles, and you smile despite the serious tone. It’s only then that you realize your hands are still on his finger, and his claw is still pressed to your chest. He must have realized it as well since he pulls away and returns to his work. You’re left where you lie and turn your head to look around the room, desperate to take your mind off the whirlwind of events you just experienced, as if anything could make you forget. You focus on the shelves against the opposite wall, and on them are… heads. Heads of other mechs. You don’t know what side they were on when they were alive, but you wouldn’t be surprised if they were some of his own at one point. </p>
<p>“This is your room, isn’t it?” </p>
<p>“It is.”</p>
<p>“Is this where I’ll be staying?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>You look back to him and tilt your head, watching as he works. It’s entrancing, but you force yourself to continue. </p>
<p>“You trust me enough for that? To share a room?” </p>
<p>He actually laughs at your question, quiet and gruff as it is. You can hardly believe your ears, but you’re sure of what you heard. “Trust has nothing to do with it. I do not see you as a threat.” </p>
<p>You nod, a breath of a laugh on your lips. “Fair enough.” After all, you don’t need him to trust you. Having his protection is more than enough for the moment. You certainly don’t trust him. Not entirely at least, after what he let happen. </p>
<p>Then your stomach growls. </p>
<p>“Hey uh… Megatron, you do know I have other needs, right?” </p>
<p>He pauses, his servo in midair before he continues by pressing a character on the screen. </p>
<p>“Such as?” </p>
<p>“Not just clothes and heat. Also food, water, a bath.” The idea of a hot bath sounds incredible right now, especially with a few candles, some bubbles, maybe those medicated salts to ease your aches. </p>
<p>“Those do not sound like needs.” </p>
<p>“They are, I swear! Though uh… I wouldn’t refuse a few indulgences.” Your tone is outright playful and you wonder what the hell you’re doing.</p>
<p>“I already told you not to push your luck.” </p>
<p>You sigh, heavily. “Yessir.” </p>
<p>And you don’t. Though you’re hungry, and your exposed skin is freezing on the countertop, you drop the subject and go back to looking around the room. There’s nothing you can recognize as a personal item aside from the heads and a few pieces of discarded armor you think he used to bear. Aside from that are scattered books that look absolutely ancient. You didn’t take him for a reader, but with how dedicated he seems to his work, you shouldn’t be surprised. </p>
<p>“Do you sleep?” You ask, cutting the long silence once you’d laid eyes on his bed. You can’t tell if it’s ever been used. Megatron makes a noise like a hiss, though you hope it was closer to a sigh. He stops what he’s doing and grasps one of the screens which easily detaches to become mobile, much like an ipad to his size. You raise a brow, marvelling at their technology and how far beyond humans they must be. </p>
<p>He doesn’t answer your question. His attention is wholly focused on the tablet in his servo. This doesn’t stop him from curling his fingers around you though, lifting you from the table to his shoulder. It hurts, as every movement does, but it’s getting better and your priority is not slipping off once he lets go. He returns both servos to continue his work, not even looking where he walks as he heads for the door. You think he’s going to run right into it, but it opens automatically. More security you don’t try to think too hard on. </p>
<p>“Knockout will assist you in getting what you need.” He says once you’re almost back to the medical lab. You’d kept your mouth shut during the walk, sensing you’d overdone it with your questions. You can’t stay silent when he says that though. </p>
<p>“What? How come? I just left him and got to see you.” The Pathetic Meter you mentally have going for yourself shots up ten notches. Megatron’s steps actually slow, and he lifts his head from the tablet to look at you with a clear frown. You swallow. </p>
<p>“You would forego your <i>needs</i>,” he stresses that word purposely, already accusing you of being a liar, “in order to spend time doing nothing in my company?” </p>
<p>You sigh and look at anything but his optics. “I wasn’t lying, ok? I do need those things. I just don’t… I don’t need them right this second.” You shrug, turning inward at his accusation. You can feel his optics boring holes through you but you refuse to meet them. </p>
<p>“I do not have time for you.” He says coolly as he finally looks away and resumes his long steps. <i>Ouch.</i> Not that you can really blame him. He’s clearly trying to work and you haven’t even tried to keep your curiosity at bay, asking every question that popped into your mind in the moment. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry.” You mumble so soft you don’t know if he’s heard or not. Would it make any difference? You doubt it. </p>
<p>So you let him take you back to Knockout, who’s equally as confused as you were. </p>
<p>“Did something happen?” He asks, looking you over for injuries more than what you already had when you left. His optics linger on the new gouge on your chest, but dismisses it as nothing worthy of his attention. </p>
<p>“They require things. Take care of it.” Megatron says curtly before setting you down unceremoniously on Knockout’s lab table. He was in the process of cleaning up more alien blood and you almost land in a puddle, narrowly avoiding that fate worse than death. The fact it belongs to Starscream makes it equivalent to the plague. By the time you look up again Megatron is gone. You let out a huff and look at Knockout. </p>
<p>“Sorry. I guess I was being a pain.” </p>
<p>“If that’s true then I’m surprised you’re still alive.” Knockout says this in a way that you know he’s being serious. Your blood runs cold. </p>
<p>“No he… was really patient actually? Answered most of my questions despite working.” </p>
<p>“Yeah, right.” He says with a snort, sarcasm dripping from each word. But then you give him a look, and his optics go so wide they might crack. </p>
<p>“He didn’t. No, that isn’t possible. Megatron is literally the least patient decepticon I’ve ever met. You were talking to some other guy.” </p>
<p>You manage a soft laugh. “Same guy who dropped me off so… yeah.” You shrug, smiling now that your mood has increased a little. “Why do you think he was being so good for me? I thought he hated humans.” </p>
<p>“So did we. I mean <i>he does.</i> I don’t know. Maybe it’s worn off since we’ve been here a while now.” He shrugs and you know he’s just as confused as you are about the whole thing. “But what’re the ‘things’ he was talking about?” </p>
<p>“Oh, I just said I need food and clothes. And clean water. And a bath.” You eye him, trying to gauge whether this will be an easy ask or not. He just nods. </p>
<p>“Well I could take you down I guess. That’s what Megatron asked for.” </p>
<p>“I’ll buy you some uh… car polish? As thanks?” You venture, giving him an awkward smile. He laughs and shakes his head. </p>
<p>“No no, this is professional work only. Nothing you can just <i>buy.</i>” </p>
<p>“Okay, drama queen” You say, singsong, while grinning.  </p>
<p>“Damn right.” </p>
<p>__________________________________________</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Knockout answers everything you didn’t know to ask. He corrects you on the fact that they are not even close to robots, and he considers the word a slur. You know he was being dramatic again but you got the point. You learn their kind are called decepticons (they aren’t even trying to sound like good guys) and the others are autobots. They do sleep, but it’s nothing like how humans do, and the description of their “powering down” sounds just like what a robot would do. You point this out and he throws a fit, which makes you belly laugh for the first time in a while. Plus, you get to drive around in a smoking hot car and feel like a badass the whole time. It is a little weird at first having his holo-form beside you to talk to. It feels so real, only the occasional glitch reminds you the car is his true body. More than that, it’s nice to have someone that feels like a friend. You weren’t expecting this. </p>
<p>You come to a stop in front of a superstore and look out the window. Anxiety had grown like vines around your heart, squeezing the muscle and making your chest ache. Your hand raises out of habit to your neck, intent on finding comfort in fiddling with your necklace, but you remember you didn’t wear it out of your apartment, and it’s likely buried under tons of rubble now. You twist a piece of hair around your finger instead. </p>
<p>“Why are you nervous?” Knockout asks. You turn to look at his handsome hologram. </p>
<p>“Honestly…” Your voice trails off and you sigh, looking back to the entrance of the store. “I think I’m afraid if I leave then… I’ll go back to reality, y’know? You won’t be here and my little outing will end. I don’t want that to happen. I don’t want my old life back.” </p>
<p>You dare to glance over at him, and are heartbroken to find pity on his features, despite a glitch that cuts his face in two. </p>
<p>“I know, it’s stupid.” You laugh nervously, tugging at your old, torn t-shirt Knockout gave back to you before you left.  “I uh- I’m gonna just go. I shouldn’t be too long. Are you sure you have the whole water and bath thing figured out? I can buy some if not-“ </p>
<p>The words aren’t even fully formed before he interrupts. “I told you I got it. Hurry up before an autobot shows up. They have the shittiest timing and the un-shitiest luck.” </p>
<p>You chuckle and escape, doing a painful jog to the doors with your hand clutching your side. They slide open so primitively compared to the ship, which you now know as the Nemesis. You decide once in the store to splurge on one of your last shops ever and go fancy with your necessities. You get some face cloths, a few soaps that smell like heaven, and the fluffiest towel you can find. Then you get the softest blanket they had in the store, which wasn’t quite as you were hoping for but it’ll do, with a pillow to match. It’s fun not worrying about money for once. Especially when you got to the clothing, though what you pick out ends up being decidedly less fancy and far more efficient. Everything had to be warm, with new socks and a couple hoodies, even a little jacket. </p>
<p>Underwear came last for clothes, since you were indecisive. Should you go fancy, or comfortable? A bit of both? With the amount of times you passed out and ended up undressed, you wondered if you should give them something nice to look at. Then again, would they even find that appealing? You are a fleshy human after all. </p>
<p>Then you set your sights on a matching top and bottom, fully lace and almost entirely see-through aside from the threaded flower designs. It’s a bold, beautiful shade of purple. You bite your lip, thinking how well they match Megatron’s entire aesthetic. Your desire to fit in makes you buy them on impulse, along with another pair that remind you of his eyes and <i>god</i> hopefully Knockout never sees them. Hiding them under a pack of granny panties makes you feel less like a pervert. </p>
<p>With your embarrassing items crossed off the list, you get a few other toiletries and a handful of food that would survive an apocalypse, pay, and take your little cart back to Knockout. </p>
<p>Who isn’t there. You know the spot he was in and he isn’t there and <i>maybe your feeling was right maybe you’re just crazy and none of it happened you should definitely go to a hospital right now and check yourself in or maybe write a book because that was some wild shit-</i></p>
<p>Then you hear the sound of tires squealing, and see Knockout’s vehicle coming toward you at racetrack speeds. You almost try to dodge, but are frozen in place for fear of moving into his way rather than out of it. His door swings open in front of you before he fully stops. </p>
<p>“Get your shit in and let’s <b>go!</b>” He yells, revving his engine loud enough to snap you out of your daze and start chucking your things over your seat and into the back. </p>
<p>“What happened? Is it an autobot?” You ask, leaving your empty cart and throwing yourself into the passenger seat. The door shuts for you and he tears off back the same way you came once you exited the ground bridge. </p>
<p>“Yeah. They saw me and… Then they saw you. I guess they got the idea you were going to be kidnapped or something.”</p>
<p>“They’re… trying to rescue me?” You ask, flatly, and point to yourself. </p>
<p>“Yeah. Better hold on.” He says as he steps on the gas. You look in the mirror and see a vehicle is right on your tail. </p>
<p>It’s a muscle car, yellow with black stripes, and it’s keeping up with you.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Abandonment</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know there isn't any of the lovely Meg in this chapter, but I promise the next one will be full of him. And also more emotional and angsty than previous chapters &gt;:3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As fun as it would be, you are not actually in a car chase. Well, you are, but it’s more like being stalked since everyone is driving the speed limit. Knockout wouldn’t have cared normally, but he didn’t want to risk getting into an altercation. The autobot, known as Bumblebee, had already called for backup by the time you got out of the store’s parking lot. Once on the highway you had two followers: the muscle car, and an unusual semi, with an attachment on the back. He couldn’t take on both of them. It was a hard thing to hear him admit, you knew it totally went against his self-assured nature. He also had you to think about, though you hoped that wouldn’t be an issue. </p>
<p>So you drive, slowly, back towards the abandoned warehouse in the industrial part of the city where you’d beamed to earth. Knockout hadn’t appreciated your “beam me down, Scotty” reference at the time, but you’d hurt yourself laughing. </p>
<p>“We’re just about off the highway. There’s a few places coming up where I’ll be able to lose them. Don’t worry, ‘kay?” </p>
<p>You puff out a laugh. “I’m not worried. But you are very… noticeable.” </p>
<p>“That just makes it all the sweeter when I ditch them.” </p>
<p>You smile and nod. It’s his tail on the line after all. Who’re you to say anything? And, if you’re to believe what he told you, he’s more than a few thousand years old. He didn’t get this far by being stupid, especially not under Megatron. </p>
<p>“You thinkin’ about how clever I am?” He teases out of nowhere. </p>
<p>You shoot his holoform a surprised yet disturbed look. “How the hell do you know what I’m thinking?” </p>
<p>“‘Cause it’s true.” His form grins, and his right eye glitches into the middle of his cheek. You place a hand over your face and try to hide your giggling with a groan, not very successfully. </p>
<p>Then he makes an unexpected turn, and your head lolls into the window with a clunk. </p>
<p>“Dude what the fuck?” You whine, pressing the tender spot through your hair and rubbing to try and make the pain dissipate sooner. </p>
<p>“Hey, I told you to hold on when we left. Should’ve been paying attention.” </p>
<p>You pout and grumble a few insults he pretends not to hear, but you do take his advice and brace yourself with both hands; one on the side of your seat, and the other on the door. You really wish his fancy sports car had one of those “things are about to get real” handles above the window. </p>
<p>Knockout had taken an off ramp at the last minute, and while they surely weren’t far behind, you can no longer see the vehicles in your mirror. Ahead of you is a typical industrial park, with towering, dilapidated buildings, stacks with black smoke rising from them, and some of the worst potholes in the city. Half of Knockout’s swerving is just to avoid them. </p>
<p>In the heart of the park, he drives through an open chain link fence and through to the familiar warehouse. It’s entirely empty inside, and he stops within and makes contact with the Nemesis. </p>
<p>“Breakdown, I need a groundbridge at my location. Make it quick, we aren’t alone out here.”</p>
<p>There’s a moment of silence, and then you see his holoform’s eyes go wide before it disappears altogether. Your brows knit and you look at the dashboard expectantly. </p>
<p>“I can’t do that, <i>you</i> can’t do that.” He snaps, and you’re pretty sure he isn’t talking to Breakdown right now. </p>
<p>“No! That would be suicide!” </p>
<p>Another moment of silence. </p>
<p>“They’ll take her. Then what?” </p>
<p><i>Oh.</i> He means you. This can’t be good. You swallow down the lump in your throat and pat the dash in front of you. </p>
<p>“Hey… Knockout, if… if I’m a problem then it’s ok. Just do what you have to.” You know it doesn’t sound convincing, but the hum of engines not far off doesn’t go unnoticed by either of you. Knockout waits as long as he can, thinking and swearing quietly. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry.” He sounds genuine, but then the passenger door pops open. You take a deep breath and get out, taking several steps away from the hot red car. </p>
<p>“I’ll keep your stuff in the lab, if you come back.” </p>
<p><i>If.</i> Not when. He doesn’t believe you will, or perhaps can. You want to thank him despite the lack of confidence, but then the ground bridge is open and he doesn’t hesitate to drive through. There’s only a shimmer of color left when the two autobots drive through and transform. They must have expected a fight, because they both look confused that you’re the only one there. </p>
<p>The yellow one comes closer and kneels, bringing him almost to your level. He looks genuinely concerned and reaches out a servo, but you take a step back. The larger, unnamed one crosses their arms and stares down at you with a stern, displeased expression. You aren’t fazed. He may be large, but he’s nothing compared to your encounters with Megatron. A little posturing doesn’t scare you anymore. </p>
<p>“Why did you do that?” You ask, your question directed at the larger bot. You wanted it to come out neutral, but there’s resentment in your tone. His optics narrow to mere slits. </p>
<p>“We kept you from being abducted. That wasn’t a regular car, in case-“</p>
<p>“I know it wasn’t!” You snap, louder than your normal volume to drown out his booming voice. “He wasn’t trying to take me. He was my ride-” you stop, the word ‘home’ on your tongue but can you even call it that? It’s where you live now, so while it may not be “homey” just yet, it’s as close as you have. </p>
<p>“You’re working with the decepticons?” He says after your indecisive silence. Any pity or care that had been in his tone is gone. He’s now on edge, and even Bumblebee seems to have cooled somewhat, leaning away from you and staring in cautious disbelief. </p>
<p>“Not working with them. I don’t know what I’d call it.” You rub your temple, groping for an explanation. “They kept me safe. That’s all that matters. I just wanna go back.” </p>
<p>“Yet you were left here.” </p>
<p>Your eyes blaze. “Because you interfered! Just leave me alone.” To emphasize your point, you sit down on the cool concrete floor. </p>
<p>“No. You have to come with us.” The larger one’s arms uncross and he takes a small step toward you. </p>
<p>“I said go. I don’t want to.” </p>
<p>“It doesn’t matter what you want.” </p>
<p>He reaches out to grab you, and you hear Bee chirp something you think is a warning, though whether directed toward you or the autobot you aren’t sure. Before you can think to heed it and scramble away, he grabs your arm and yanks you to your feet. Your ribs are pulled in new ways and it feels like glass has been shoved into your abdomen. You swear you feel your ribs rend apart even further, fractures threatening to snap. </p>
<p>The scream that erupts from your lungs is ear-piercing. The bot immediately drops you and both move back a few paces. You don’t catch yourself. Your ankles buckle, then your knees, until your face is on the ground. Your eyes are shut tight, but you can feel the tears wet your cheek and then the ground below you, smearing dirt on your face as you hold yourself and tremble. </p>
<p>“They kept you safe, did they?” The autobot says, ice still in his tone, but warmed ever so slightly by remorse. “You need a doctor. Come with us, we can help.”</p>
<p>“I don’t- want your help.” You gasp between sobs, which you’re trying your damnedest to hold back. You’d never liked crying in front of anyone, and that circle has widened to include aliens. </p>
<p>Now Bumblebee comes forward again, and you feel his gentle servo on your back. You fight the urge to pull away, knowing you can’t move until the pain ebbs just a little more. </p>
<p>“Come on | Little lady!” The radio says, segments cut from earth’s media. You turn your head just a little and see his head is turned sideways, nearly upside down, just so he can make eye contact with you. He chirps again, a little sadder this time. He seems so genuine it almost hurts to turn him down. </p>
<p>You close your eyes and take a deep breath, then another, noting the pain is still stabbing but bearable. Very slowly you manage to sit up onto your knees and rub the dirt and tears from your face. </p>
<p>“Look, I appreciate you trying to help-“</p>
<p>“We are not just trying to help,” the larger one interrupts sharply. “You know of us, of the decepticons. You aren’t someone we can let go, much less allow to return to your cohorts.” </p>
<p>“I’m not going just so you can cover your asses! I don’t care what you say. I’m staying here and then I’m going home. If you take me, then you’ll be the ones doing the kidnapping. Not exactly what you’re supposed to stand for, is it?” You’re bitter, you’re angry, you’re in so much damn pain it’s not even funny. You wish you had more lung capacity to scream at him, but you don’t. A pointed glare is all you can muster. </p>
<p>Bumblebee stands and looks up at his partner, shrugging his shoulder and saying something in beeps and whirs that you can’t even begin to understand. You wonder for a moment if that’s what cybertronian sounds like. </p>
<p>The other huffs and then looks from Bee down to you, cold glare returning the instant he does. “Fine. Stay here. And when they don’t come back, we’ll be waiting. Have a good night.” </p>
<p>They transform and leave, with Bee throwing a little glance over his shoulder at you before they’re out of sight. Your face is tight with worry. Of course Knockout won’t come back here. Now that the autobots saw him leave, this destination will never be used again for transport. It’s far too easy to ambush, even you realize that. You’re stuck, and abandoned, and also definitely on your own. They won’t go looking all over the city for one lost human, even if they belong to Megatron. </p>
<p>Can’t go to the autobots, can’t go back to Megatron, can’t even go home. Your nice day out just got infinitely suckier. </p>
<p>You stay sitting on the ground in the warehouse for what feels like hours, lacking the energy to move. You know you have to if you want to even attempt going back, but that first step is so hard. You keep saying you’ll do it, now will be the moment you go forward, but your legs don’t move. You don’t tell them to. Not until the shadows grow long and the air develops a bite. Only then do you force yourself to your feet and begin to walk out one of the large warehouse doors and then… </p>
<p>To nowhere. It doesn’t matter anymore. You just walk. Through the industrial park, over the rough road, until it’s nothing but gravel and dirt crunching under your sneakers. You’ve found your way back to a highway and you decide to hitchhike, knowing full well that isn’t something you should be doing at all, much less in this area, and <i>never</i> at night. You know, you just don’t care. So you reach a hand out to signal the passing vehicles, expecting to walk along the highway for a while before someone is brave enough to pick you up. To your surprise, the first vehicle you flag down pulls over and stops. It’s a white truck speckled with mud. You wonder where it’s going, and where it’s been. </p>
<p>You walk up to the door and look inside. A single man is in the driver’s seat, smiling at you. It isn’t a creepy smile, and in fact looks quite self aware, as if he’s already apologizing for the situation you’re going to be in. You open the door and step up and into the truck. It’s warm, making you melt into the black leather seat.</p>
<p>“Hi. I’m Doug.” He reaches out a hand and you weakly shake it, but offer no name in return. He doesn’t ask. “Where you headed?”</p>
<p>“Just the city.” </p>
<p>His brows knit. “That city there?” You nod. “Okay, anywhere in particular?” You shake your head. The look he gives you is warranted since so far you’re actually the weirder of you two, but he shrugs it off and pulls back onto the highway. </p>
<p>The sun has set and the sky is a mild blue in the west, and near pitch black in the east. It won’t be long before everything is blanketed in darkness. You don’t know what you’ll do then. Your eyes go to the few stars starting to shine through the dim sky and wonder if one of them is the Nemesis. Or even where in the sky the ship would be. It must be quite far away, given that seeing a giant spacecraft hovering over earth would end up on the news pretty quickly. Well, social media at least. </p>
<p>Wait. The light bulb goes off and you sit up so quick your driver almost swerves as he jumps. </p>
<p>“Jesus, what’s wrong?”</p>
<p>“Can I use your phone?” You’re trying not to sound frantic. </p>
<p>“I… sure.” He’s clearly hesitant, but pulls a smartphone from his pocket nonetheless and hands it over. You go straight to the Internet and find one of your more eccentric but frequented websites. Maybe once it had been run by a bunch of trailer dwelling, tinfoil hat types, but not since actual aliens showed up. Since then it’s proved to be a more reliable source for information than any of the mainstream outlets. You go to the most recent articles and look for anything in your city. Having been a hub of activity for the last couple weeks, some hypothesized there was something both sides needed somewhere closeby. Energy, resources, food. Whatever they needed, it was here. </p>
<p>Sure enough, the last dozen articles you see are from the area. You click through them and skim, trying to pinpoint keywords that won’t land you within a mile of another pushy autobot. </p>
<p><i>Neighborhood pets start going missing after metal bird appears-</i> </p>
<p>That doesn’t sound like the kind of thing an autobot would do. It’s perfect. </p>
<p>“Hey, do you know where… Chester Hills is?” </p>
<p>Doug frowns and tilts his head from side to side before he answers. “Roughly, but yeah. It’s more on the edge of the city, I think. Right before you hit the valley. Great view, wouldn’t mind living there myself. Why?” </p>
<p>“I have a friend there. Would you be able to drive me?”</p>
<p>You sound hopeful, but have to watch in silence as his finger taps the steering wheel in thought.</p>
<p>“Even if you can get me close and give-”</p>
<p>“No, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He interrupts, but there’s no anger in his voice. He doesn’t snap, he just sounds concerned. A heavy sigh leaves him and you’re momentarily envious he can do so without pain. </p>
<p>“I’ll take you. Gonna be about an hour though.”</p>
<p>“That’s fine… thank you, Doug.” </p>
<p>He just nods and you set his phone in the center console. It’s a promising lead, but you try to keep your excitement to a minimum. You worry you’re still being tracked by the autobots, but they wouldn’t follow you that far, would they? You don’t know. </p>
<p>The hour drive drags by, as you’re now counting every minute and watching the street signs diligently. You keep in mind what direction you’re heading in and track every turn Doug makes to ensure you’re getting closer. The moment you see the neighborhood sign you tell him to pull over and let you out. </p>
<p>“Wait, aren’t you gonna give me an address?” He questions, though still does as you ask and pulls over to the side of the road. </p>
<p>“I don’t know it. But-uh, I know what it looks like. It’s ok, I’ll just walk around.” You flash him a weak but genuine smile as you open the door and hop out. “Thank you again. You’re a good guy.” </p>
<p>He sighs and gives you a tired smile before you shut the door. He waves and the truck pulls off and keeps on driving. You’re relieved he didn’t have to turn around. Now even if you were being followed, though you hadn’t seen either car since the warehouse, hopefully they’d continue to follow the truck. No reason to think you’d gotten out. </p>
<p>Keeping your eyes as sharp as possible you nearly jog down the sidewalk. You look for anything out of the ordinary. The bird had only been seen once, and never photographed, so it must be good at hiding. You don’t think it stays in the neighborhood though, there are far too many people. You walk until you’re at the edge of the valley, and stare down to see the wooded hills go on for a while. Just like a needle in a haystack, but it’s your best shot. </p>
<p>You climb over a small guard rail and venture down the hill, slowly due to the dark, but as quick as you can before you get to the treeline. Once there, caution is thrown to the wind. </p>
<p>“Here, birdie birdie.” You call into the woods, like a crazy person. “Come on, I know you’re out here. Probably keeping watch. There’s something good down there, right?” </p>
<p>You slip through two trees and then pause, listening for any sound. Nothing. You continue deeper.</p>
<p>“I don’t know what it’s called, but it’s valuable. You guys are here. I know you’re here.” </p>
<p>There’s a distant crack of a branch off to your left and you freeze. Your breath stops and you go quiet, fear dancing its ice cold fingers up your back. You swallow and roll your shoulders to shrug it off, then keep going. </p>
<p>“I know you don’t know me, but I’m not here to do anything sketchy. I just wanna see Megatron.” </p>
<p>The words are barely beyond your lips before you’re tackled to the ground, your head just barely avoiding contact with the tree behind you. You gasp and then yelp as metal talons rip through your shirt and dig into your shoulders. There is in fact a metal bird pinning you down, its sharp features lit by red optics. You don’t try to stop your grin, or the laugh that bubbles up from your throat. Its head tilts, and then the talons dig deeper. </p>
<p>“How do you know that name?” It asks, and even with the pain, you smirk. </p>
<p>“We’re acquainted. You could even say we’ve gotten to first base.” The bird isn’t amused. A gun pops up from seemingly nowhere and charges in front of your face. The heat actually feels nice. </p>
<p>“Hey, buzzard, I’m not kidding. He’ll be pissed if you kill me. I mean, you have contact with them, don’t you? Just ask if he wants his pet back.” At those words there’s a hint of recognition in its optics, and the gun reluctantly withdraws. </p>
<p>“You are the human that escaped-“</p>
<p>“I didn’t <i>escape!</i> I was left behind!” You snap, because you’re pretty damn sick of people accusing you of that. Hell, you just wanted to spend the day watching Megatron work. And asking questions, which was the problem, but it couldn’t have turned out worse than this clusterfuck. </p>
<p>“I don’t care what you think. Just get me back, ok?” You urge, raising your brows and nodding at them. They slowly retract their claws, and you watch as they fly up, hovering just below the tree’s canopy. </p>
<p>“Keep up, if you can.” They taunt before flying on deeper into the woods, dodging the trees with an elegant ease you could only dream of. You have to run to keep up, but are determined to do so. This is your only chance to get back, and this cat-stealing woodpecker isn’t going to get in your way. </p>
<p>You trip more than once. You fall at least half a dozen times. Your ripped jeans are now very ripped, but you think it’s probably a new trend anyway and you’ll be hip with the kids. Still, you keep the bird within sight, and have arrived at… you don’t really know what, but it’s a whole operation. Also a hole operation, because there’s a deep hole in the ground where the decepticon lackey's are mining some sort of crystal. The hole is only a handful of meters wide, allowing the trees above to mostly obscure it from any view above. Nobody would think anything of it. </p>
<p>“Laserbeak, you are not to leave your post.” An outright robotic voice says, and you turn to see the bird land on the shoulder of another decepticon. He then sees you too, and his emotionless visor leaves no optics for you to stare into. Even as expressionless as he is, you wouldn’t be surprised if he was considering taking the bird apart just to see what went wrong inside that would have him lead a human to their outpost. </p>
<p>“She is the one. The one he is looking for.” The bird purrs, its long neck wrapping around the decepticon’s head to speak from the opposite shoulder. It reminds you of an avian version of the Cheshire cat. </p>
<p>“And you chose not to kill her?” he queries. The bird snaps back to him and his metal feathers ruffle. </p>
<p>“That was an option?” It nearly screeches. </p>
<p>“Whoa, wait guys, what? Why? Just like… fill me in first maybe. What happened?” </p>
<p>The tall, blue-ish mech turns back to you and tilts his head. “You are to be brought back alive, or killed.” </p>
<p>Ah, that’s always what you wanna hear. You didn’t even get any wanted posters with your name on them. </p>
<p>“Well I’m here now so, maybe just send me back? You guys have to be sending these crystals up somehow. Let’s get the ground bridge going.” You suddenly feel like a sports coach trying to tell your team they can still bring it back and win the game with 5 seconds left on the clock. They both just stare. </p>
<p>“Or fuckin’ kill me, just do something. I’m tired of waiting around.” Laserbeak looks expectantly at his master, just itching for approval to do exactly that, but no such command is given. Instead, a long tentacle-like appendage comes from the bot and wraps around you. Considering how your day has gone already, you aren’t even surprised. This may as well happen too. </p>
<p>“Lord Megatron,” he says, but not to you. “We have found the human. Requesting a ground bridge at energon mine three.” </p>
<p>It takes less than a minute for one to appear off to the side, nestled between a sparse area of trees. It’s riskier at night since it lights up the forest even with the canopy above. It’s likely for that reason you’re pretty much thrown through the bridge, landing in a painful heap on another cold, hard floor.</p>
<p>But it isn’t the same place you left with Knockout. You don’t get much time to look around the room though, because Megatron is in front of you. </p>
<p>And boy, does he look <b>livid.</b></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. A Bond is Formed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ok so this didn't end up as angsty as I had originally planned BUT it's more... mushy :3 I hope you guys enjoy the Megatron moments~</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Megatron, let me ex-”</p>
<p>Your words are cut off as he lunges toward you, his huge servo slamming you back onto the ground and caging you with each sharp finger. You’re almost getting used to the sensation of being unable to breath, because the force freezes your diaphragm and the air catches in your lungs. All you can do is stare helplessly up at him as you wait for your body to cope and figure out how to resume breathing. </p>
<p>“What did you say to them?” he snarls, as if you can actually speak and he hadn’t knocked the wind out of you. It’s probably for the best though, because what you immediately want to say would have you crushed on the spot, or worse. It gives you a moment to calm and rethink. As it always does eventually, the urge to gasp overcomes the ice encasing your abdomen. You let out the breath and pant, still not prioritizing answering his offensive question. Megatron, naturally, does not like to be kept waiting. </p>
<p>“You met with them. Tell me what you said.” He’s closer now, and you can see his teeth are bared. His anger is quieter than you would have imagined. Yes you’re sure he can blaze out of control, but that isn’t the case now. He’s still aware, still careful, but wanting to convey that cooperating in his little interrogation isn’t an option- it’s a requirement. You are small and still very much at his mercy. </p>
<p>It really is a wonder you aren’t more afraid, but your irritation is turning into a superpower. </p>
<p>“I told them to fuck off.” You spit, trying your utmost to sling his same venomous tone back in his face. </p>
<p>“Do not try me-“ He starts, but you’re feeling bold, especially given that you’re alone with him, and dare to interrupt. </p>
<p>“Or what? You’ll kill me? Torture me? How many times do I have to say I don’t give a fuck. You know what I do care about though? The fact I was left behind, alone, and crawled my sorry ass back to you only to be greeted with this bullshit.” </p>
<p>Your words cause him a moment's pause and you jump on the chance to keep on your tirade, not willing to give him the chance to fill the silence. </p>
<p>“Jesus, Megatron. I told you this is where I want to be. I don’t have anything left anywhere else. You said I was yours, and I believed you. I didn’t mind the idea. But then this happens and at the first opportunity to jump on me and say I’m a two-timing bastard, you do.” </p>
<p>“You were previously informed I do not trust you.” He finally says, his voice still a growl but nothing that’s going to shut you up. </p>
<p>“I know, I know you said that, and I get that trust has to be earned. Except you’re making an assumption based on nothing. I didn’t want to stay behind, I wanted to come back with Knockout, but for some reason I couldn’t. Yeah a couple of autobots came and wanted to take me away with them, but I didn’t go. When I knew nobody would come for me, I found my own way back. Can I just… god, can I get an ounce of fuckin’ credit for that? Please?” </p>
<p>You hear nothing but a few clicks and whirs of his body before he speaks. </p>
<p>“You have a pattern of escape.” </p>
<p>“No,” you say with a dizzying shake of your head. “Starscream lied the first time. I barely left my room and I was just trying to get away from that wackjob. This time Knockout can vouch for me. There wasn’t a choice. And I’m here, aren’t I? I didn’t even stay one night with the autobots. If I hadn’t found Laserbeak I’d probably be frozen in the woods right now.” </p>
<p>His frown deepens and you want to believe it’s at the idea of you dying while looking for a way back. It could just be that you were willing to do something that stupid though. </p>
<p>“You said you wanted me,” you nearly whisper as your anger wanes and you’re left with a weary desperation. “I want to be one of yours, but I need that to mean something. I’ll follow you if you just <i>let me.</i>” </p>
<p>His expression isn’t readable for a long time. It stays stagnant, still showing embers of the previous hellfire. Then his servo lifts, and you consider that a win. </p>
<p>“This will not happen a second time.” His tone is still plenty dangerous. You know as your relationship is currently he won’t give you another chance to talk him down. </p>
<p>“Fuck no, I don’t want it to.” </p>
<p>“You will not leave the ship.” </p>
<p>“Great, I hate people anyway.” </p>
<p>His optics narrow and you shrug. </p>
<p>Finally you manage to look at anything but his optics and note that Megatron is still exceptionally close and hovering over you on all fours. It’s a wonder you didn’t notice sooner just how predatory he had become. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to upset you, but you said it yourself: I’m not a threat. I don’t know anything to tell the autobots even if I wanted to. Which I don’t. This here.. this is all I have to live for. I’m not going to throw it away for them.”  </p>
<p>There’s something in his gaze as you look up that feels strange, somehow different from a moment ago. You try to identify it, but then whatever it was is gone. He just lets out a deep ex-vent into your face, and you’re pleasantly surprised by how sweet his equivalent of breath smells. </p>
<p>“You are leaking.” The topic change catches you by surprise, and you simply watch his finger come to probe at your blood-soaked shoulder. Even taking into consideration when you were a reckless kid, you couldn’t think of a time you had so many injuries at once. </p>
<p>You let out a sigh and nod. “Laserbeak. I honestly forgot.” </p>
<p>Your heart does a backflip into your throat when Megatron suddenly puts his claw at the neckline of your shirt and then pulls down. It tears easily and so clean that there’s not even much of a sound. He may as well have used scissors. You let it fall from your shoulders onto the floor, painfully unsticking the fabric that had dried onto your skin with the blood. You’re once again glad you still have your bandages on underneath. They’re loose and grimy now, but still something to cover you. </p>
<p>“These clothes provide no protection. Why do you wear them?” he asks while pressing the tip of a claw to your back and turning your body to see the punctures on your left shoulder. You tilt your head away automatically, allowing a clearer view. </p>
<p>“They do protect us. Like if we stay out in the sun too long, we’ll get burned, so clothes protect us from that. And from cuts and scrapes and that sort of thing. While I’m up here they keep me warm.” </p>
<p>“You should not have become the dominant species,” he remarks, disdain evident as it always is when he speaks about humans. You manage a soft, warm laugh. </p>
<p>“I think a lot of our scientists are still trying to figure that one out. The leading theory is we work well as a team. Humans fight with each other, but we also know how to band together when we need to. And we’re smart, compared to other animals.” You pause and turn to him, pulling his gaze from your skin to meet your eye. </p>
<p>“That’s how you became leader too, isn’t it? Intelligence, determination, plus brute strength. I doubt anyone was surprised.” You search his face in tempered awe, thinking of all the power that you haven’t seen him display yet. </p>
<p>“Flattery will not earn you my favor.” His tone doesn’t match his words; there’s an outright purr behind every syllable. </p>
<p>“Are you sure? ‘Cause you’re handsome too.” Your intent is playful teasing, but further down you fear there’s a little too much truth in the statement. He may be an alien many times your size and made of metal, but there’s still something aesthetically pleasing about the intricate arrangement of all his pieces.</p>
<p>You hear him scoff, a deep garbled noise, and nearly grin. Your bravery continues to rear its head though, because you catch one of his fingers and move closer to it. </p>
<p>“Seriously though… is everything ok? Between us and… with me here?” you ask with furrowed brows, genuine worry carrying through with ease. You’d meant your earlier words- this bond is all you have left to fight for.  </p>
<p>“For the time being.” Megatron’s voice is much softer, and his talon moves back up to the cut he had made earlier. He brushes the dull side over it and you shiver. </p>
<p>Then he pushes you back down again, and you don’t fight his urge to lay on the floor. Your torn t-shirt is just enough to keep the cold from biting your skin. </p>
<p>“What’re you doing?” you ask, sensing some form of intent in the action. His optics meet your eye briefly, and then drift back down to your chest. </p>
<p>“You will see.” You frown at his vague answer, especially when the tip of his finger yet again pierces your skin. You suck in a breath and hiss, but know better than to fidget. It does hurt, all the more so when he begins to drag it around, but comparatively it’s not anything near what you experienced with your ribs. You bear it with no more reaction than gritting your teeth, eyes focused on his features as a distraction. The way he looks when concentrating is mild even  compared to his resting bitch face. </p>
<p>Once his finger pulls away, you look down and see… a bloody mess. You wonder if it was just some form of mild punishment. You look up and raise a brow at him. </p>
<p>“It was once a tradition to mark our forms.” He says this like it’s supposed to explain anything, but you’re just more confused. He then turns his helm and you see something you’d never noticed before. On one side, the one you typically don’t see when on his other shoulder, there are symbols etched in the metal. You recognize them as characters in cybertronian. Your eyes widen in wonder and you reach out to touch them. He allows it and you trace the two clear symbols. It looks like once there were more but an injury distorts them. He turns his head again and you feel warm under his ex-vents. </p>
<p>“What do they say?” you ask. </p>
<p>“My rank.” </p>
<p>“Which is?” </p>
<p>“Leader.” </p>
<p>You smile knowingly, unsurprised. Your fingers trace over the metal a moment longer before you dare to ask more. </p>
<p>“And before that? There was something else here.” You’re cautious, but your tone belies a hungry curiosity. He rumbles, which you choose to hear as a purr rather than the annoyance it more likely is. </p>
<p>“I was a high ranking warrior.” </p>
<p>“So not much has changed.” </p>
<p>He hisses that familiar sigh. “Everything has changed.”</p>
<p>“But you’re still a warrior. I know you’re also the brains, but I saw you fight. It was… art. Beautiful and terrifying.” </p>
<p>His optics lock on you with a self assured confidence that makes your knees weak. Thankfully you’re laying down. He puts his claw back on your chest and wipes some of the blood away. </p>
<p>“This is your mark,” he says, shifting the topic. You look down and see the outline of a foreign cybertronian character is slightly more clear. You look up to him, awaiting a translation. </p>
<p>“Which says what? Useless flesh bag?” Would you be surprised if he carved that into you? Nope. </p>
<p>He allows a pause for tension to build, and it works. The smirk on his features tells you it’s something to make him smug and you’re even more convinced it’s something derogatory. Then he puts you out of your misery and simultaneously makes you feel infinitely worse. </p>
<p>“It’s my name.” </p>
<p>“...oh.” </p>
<p>Your voice is barely audible. Your eyes have gone wide and your heart has started an uncomfortable tingling. It’s no more than slapping a name tag on a dog, you tell yourself. Or your mom sewing your name into the back of your undies. <i>Or a brand.</i> So you should definitely stop seeing it as one of those couple’s tattoos with the flowing script in their name. It’s not that. Not even close. </p>
<p>“You are a decepticon. I am your master, but I am not unreasonable. If you are loyal to me, I will be to you as well.” </p>
<p>He’s accepted you. Despite the accusations and the thin ice you’re surely on, you’re undeniably <i>his</i> now. It’s a leap in the right direction. You let out a shaky breath and smile, looking up in time to see him stand up and… lick your blood from his claw. </p>
<p><i>Oh fuck.</i> </p>
<p>You don’t even have time to finish internally screaming before he picks you up, and you’re content to die in his servo, laying there like a limp noodle until he starts walking. You wrap your arms around the base of one of his fingers just to bury your face there, not bothering to watch where he goes. </p>
<p>Given the mess you are, he takes you to Doctor Knockout. The bright light gives away where you’ve arrived even before you lift your head and see the bewildered mech. </p>
<p>Megatron is silent as ever as he lets you slip from his grasp onto the examination table. You sink to your knees slowly and then look up at Knockout with a smile. It’s nice to see him again, even if he left you behind. You aren’t holding a grudge. </p>
<p>“Lord Megatron,” he acknowledges, adding in a nod and a quick glance at you. </p>
<p>“Contact me when the procedure is finished.” Megatron’s voice has returned to the cold boss’ growl you know Knockout will expect. His optics bore into your back but you don’t turn to watch him leave. </p>
<p>“I hate to admit it, but I’m impressed,” Knockout says once sure he’s far enough away from the door to hear the conversation. He moves to a cupboard and gets a few small supplies in preparation for cleaning your wounds. </p>
<p>“How so?” You ask as you pull a literal twig out of your hair, courtesy of running through the woods. </p>
<p>“You’re here, not dead, and actually seem to be back on Megatron’s good side. I’m not going to ask how you managed any of that because I won’t believe you.” </p>
<p>You just snort and roll your eyes. </p>
<p>“I have bad news though.” </p>
<p>Your good mood fades a little and you frown. “What now?” </p>
<p>“I have to do stitches. And I don’t have the equipment to give you anesthetic, just morphine afterward.” </p>
<p>“You want me to let you sew me up… without any drugs?” </p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>Why does everyday have to be a rollercoaster? Can’t things just go up and STAY up for maybe an hour?</p>
<p>“You owe me the best fuckin’ bath of my life after this.” </p>
<p>Even a good bath won’t help much though. You hadn’t gotten past mentally preparing yet before Knockout appears in front of you, <i>human sized.</i> </p>
<p>“Uh… are you sure you didn’t give me anything? I think I’m hallucinating.” Your tone is dull but your eyes give away just how freaked out you are. </p>
<p>“No, this is something we can do.” Knockout says this casually, as if you should’ve known that the several story tall, transforming metal aliens could also change their size. Anything is possible with them it seems.</p>
<p>“Have you considered handing out an informative pamphlet?” You mumble, looking away as he runs sterile cloth over your skin with some kind of antiseptic on it, which burns. You wince and take a deep breath as he prepares the sutures, narrowly avoiding a sharp gasp as the burning refuses to lessen. Once you lay eyes on the delicate needle and wiring in his servo, you know that there was no way he’d be able to do it in his default state, even if he was very good with his dexterity the last time he’d put a needle in your skin. This is too complex. </p>
<p>There’s no warning before the first line pierces your skin, and you let out a reflexive yelp before promptly biting your tongue. You’re sick of pain, but you’re even more sick of showing it. You hate that everyone now in your life has to see you with a neon sign flashing “handle with care” strapped to your forehead. It’s the only thing you actually miss about your old life. Nobody looked at you like you were made of china, even when you felt like you were. </p>
<p>The stitches take an agonizing amount of time to finish, though it’s probably no more than a few minutes. The fact it’s a series of holes means Knockout has to keep stopping and starting and each moment in between is too long. You want it over with. </p>
<p>“Just about done. You’re lucky he didn’t sever any tendons, or else your arms would be shot.” </p>
<p>“Yeah, feeling super lucky right now.” You say through grit teeth, clenching hard enough an ache has developed in your jaw. Another moment and a few pricks later Knockout backs away. </p>
<p>“One mess done.” His attention turns to your chest and a frown twists his features. He doesn’t say anything, just takes a cotton ball and drags it gently over the area. The solution still burns and your face scrunches up like you just bit into a very, very sour lemon. He goes on to do this a few more times, scrubbing gently at the skin to get the blood off. Then he breaks the silence. </p>
<p>“Did you do this?”</p>
<p>“Me? I’m not crazy.” You huff, opening your eyes a little to see his face. His expression is made up of too many emotions for you to place any one of them and it’s unsettling. “Uh, Megatron did it. Why? Wait, is he screwing with me? What does it say?” Middle school rushes back to you, but you reason they don’t have dick jokes on their planet. Hopefully it isn’t a cultural equivalent. </p>
<p>“My cybertronian is rusty, but I think it’s his name, along with... something else I can’t place. Why the hell did he do that?” </p>
<p>You give him a wary look. “He said it’s because I’m a decepticon now. Why, is it weird?” </p>
<p>“Yeah, it’s weird. This has never happened with a human before. You’re not the first one he’s decided not to kill on sight, but even with long term deals… they were just a means to an end. Never really people, and definitely not one of us.” </p>
<p>The buzz of anxiety feels like an angry hummingbird is stuck in your chest. </p>
<p>“I don’t know if I should be flattered or worried,” you admit slowly. </p>
<p>“Me neither.” </p>
<p>Silence returns as he cleans your new brand, your mind trying to make sense of the snippets of information he’s given you. The only thing that pulls you out of it is when he tries to put a bandage on you and you raise a hand to stop him.  </p>
<p>“I want that bath you promised me.”</p>
<p>“Megatron is waiting for you.” </p>
<p>“You can go ahead and tell him I’m bathing. It’s happening and no force on this ship can stop me.” Your determination is fierce regardless of your wounds or fatigue. This is one of the only things you’re absolutely sure of. </p>
<p>Knockout agrees after you say you’ll take any blame, and resumes his normal size in the blink of an eye so he can go over to one of the side counters. There’s a sink you had no idea existed right there, and the hot water turns on to start filling the makeshift tub. It’s good enough for you. </p>
<p>“I didn’t know there was water on the ship.” You gasp, scooting to the edge of the table to watch in anticipation. </p>
<p>“We don’t need anywhere near as much as you humans, but it does help with some things. Energon consumption, cleaning, plate upgrades.”</p>
<p>You really don’t know what he means but that’s fine. You’re going to be in clean, warm water and you’re going to take your damn time enjoying it. Once it’s just about full, Knockout comes back over and gets you, carrying you to the edge of the pool-sized sink. The steam puts a smile on your face the instant it touches your skin and you don’t hesitate to sit down and take off your shoes to dip your feet in. The water is perfect and you moan at the comfort. Then you see him from the corner of your eye and turn to look behind you. Piled within reach are all your groceries. You grin and dig through the plastic bags to find everything you got for your bath. </p>
<p>“Thanks, Doc.” You say, popping open one of the soaps to smell it. He’s cleaning up the supplies he’d just used, and you shift a little. “Uh… would you mind… leaving, maybe?” </p>
<p>“I can’t leave you alone.” </p>
<p>“Ok but I can’t bathe in front of you.” </p>
<p>Knockout scoffs. “Why not?” </p>
<p>“<i>Because,</i> it’s a private human thing. I’m serious, we don’t like to be seen without our clothes on. I promise I won’t do anything stupid.” </p>
<p>The look he gives you says that he doesn’t believe you’re even capable of that. You can’t blame him. </p>
<p>“Look, just wait outside, please? I’ll try not to take too long. If anything happens I’ll call for you. Deal?” You give him a hopeful look, knowing there’s no way you can enjoy a bath with someone watching. Well… not if that someone is Knockout. </p>
<p>The bot grumbles before he throws up his servos and walks out without another word. You squeal in joy, stripping as fast as possible and throwing yourself into the warm water. Saying you wouldn’t take too long was a lie, you’re staying here until the water gets frigid and your skin looks like a ninety year old prune.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Dreams</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If y'all liked the last chapter... well, this one is extra spicy &gt;:D Another whole chap of metal daddy </p>
<p>Also please come back and listen to this once you get to That Part, you'll know the one, because this is what I imagine the sound to be - https://youtu.be/MimVnBAuYqA?list=WL</p>
<p>Enjoy your dose of Megatron, lovelies. And thank you to everyone who is still reading, commenting, and giving kudos!! It means the world &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nothing soothes the body and soul more than the simple pleasure of being clean. Your bath heals you in ways you could never describe to one of the bots. Even your busted ribs feel almost normal, though you suspect you’re just used to the chronic pain. Not wanting to ruin your mood, you don’t linger on it. Instead you throw on your pajamas, which consist of an oversized t-shirt and shorts. Since your bed is heated you aren’t worried about piling on the layers. </p>
<p>Just as you open a granola bar for your one meal so far since being taken, Knockout raps on the door. His way of telling you to hurry up without actually coming in. You appreciate that he respected your wishes, so you wolf it down and barely run a brush through your hair before calling out. </p>
<p>“Ok, I’m done.” </p>
<p>Within a second he comes through the door and over to pick you up. </p>
<p>“Good, because I already contacted Megatron.” He sounds pleased with himself and you shoot him a halfhearted glare, though sleep is already beckoning; its fingers pulling at every muscle and making them heavy and slow. You’re glad for Knockout’s servo to lean on, though it isn’t long before he’s handing you off to Megatron. The transaction is businesslike, which should offend you, but you just find their odd relationship funny. </p>
<p>Megatron starts walking with you down the hallway, but makes the mistake of placing you on his shoulder. The metal is too cold and you’re too drowsy to hold on. </p>
<p>“Um, Megatron, would it be ok if I got closer to your head- I mean helm? I’ll be careful.” Sleep makes your voice soft, and he side eyes your little body resting against one of his plates. </p>
<p>Looking forward again, he gives a curt nod. You waste no time crawling over his broad shoulder and towards a warm open spot between two pieces of his outer armor. You lay down on the black mesh and wires as thick as your arm, but notice his helm jerks away and he lets out a raspy ex-vent. </p>
<p>“Sorry, did that hurt?” You ask with a frown, slowly adjusting your position so nothing is pinched or squished. However, Megatron shakes his helm. </p>
<p>“It does not hurt, but it’s delicate.” </p>
<p>You squint at the side of his helm trying to figure out what that means. You imagine they’re like nerves to a human, and direct contact would probably feel strange, especially if you’d never had anything small enough to actually touch them before. </p>
<p>You’re so glad he’s taking the risk though, because a comfortable warmth radiates from his body. It isn’t enough to heat up his outer metal, but that just makes it pleasant for your tender skin. </p>
<p>So much so, you fall asleep right then and there. You have no idea how much time passes, but assume it wasn’t too long since you’re just back in Megatron’s room. His cold talon wakes you up as it drags along one of your thighs. You automatically curl up tighter and a shiver causes you goosebumps. Opening your eyes is a feat, but you manage it and see he’s beckoning you to get up. With a stifled yawn, you use his talon to pull yourself up and then into his servo. </p>
<p>Your bed is just the way you left it, an untidy mess on a shelf just beside Megatron’s berth. He holds you out to it and you crawl in, wrapping the already-warm fabric around your body to create a cave of comfort. You watch with subdued surprise as Megatron actually lays down as well. He looks almost human as he lays on his side, red optics meeting yours as you stare. You give him a weak smile. </p>
<p>“Goodnight, my liege.” </p>
<p>His optics shine brighter, and then a deep hum reverberates through his form. You have to hold back a chuckle, letting your head rest on the fluffy bedding. You give up your fight against sleep, exhaustion taking hold of your form so quick you doubt your eyes even close fully before you’re unconscious.  </p>
<p>___________________________________________</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A field of white appears in front of you, though this one feels odd. Empty, and uncomfortably silent. The horizon is split into two, the white above, and black slate below. You look down and see the stone, above which sits a layer of water. You take a step and notice your bare foot doesn’t sink. The water allows you to float and feel as though you’re walking on a cloud. It prompts you to keep taking steps forward, though your destination is unknown. Maybe there isn’t one. </p>
<p>A figure appears on the horizon, a pillar of darkness cutting through the crisp white line. It grows more prominent as you walk closer, prompted toward the only landmark among nothing. As you get closer you can see the form is large and cloaked. It’s a recognizable figure, one you know by the name of death. You would say grim reaper, but this form lacks a scythe. </p>
<p>Something tells you to turn around, and you see Megatron. He’s not nearly as large, but his body is the same as you remember, even while he’s human-sized. You’re confused, and look back to the black figure. Neither move, but he begins speaking. </p>
<p>“It’s a mistake to go to him. I can take care of you. I can make you happy.” </p>
<p>You look to Megatron, expecting him to speak, but he doesn’t. He just stares at you. Why is he staring? What are you supposed to do? </p>
<p>“He’s only using you. He wants something. You can’t expect to be happy forever, eventually he’ll toss you aside.” </p>
<p>You get the sensation of your breath hitching, but there’s no sound. You take a careful step back, knowingly toward Megatron. Death grows louder, and taller, more menacing.</p>
<p>“You’re turning your back on mankind. He intends to destroy everything to do with humans- you won’t be spared. You betray them for nothing but an act.” </p>
<p>You look over your shoulder and see Megatron is in the same position… and then his arm extends to you, servo held out and awaiting your hand. You’ve never wanted anything more. Death snarls in the background and the sky goes black. The only thing to guide you is his garnet eyes, suddenly so full of warmth. You’ve never seen them so kind but you know it’s there, he <i>wants you.</i> </p>
<p>You turn and run to him, bypassing his outstretched hand to wrap your arms tightly around his waist. In this version of his body your head comes up to his chest and you bury your face into it. A moment of complete and utter peace washes over you. For once you feel like you’re in the right place. </p>
<p>And then you sink, torn away from his body and sent into deep, pitch black water. You can’t see anything above or below and the disorientation sends you into a panic. You don’t know which way the surface is. With everything you have you fight at the water, kicking and paddling, but it slips through your fingers and any progress just makes the pressure on your body increase. You’re drowning, you can feel it. The last bit of air slips out and you suck in water. You choke and cough and feel true, bone deep fear- </p>
<p>The sensation makes you bolt up in bed, gasping and clawing at your throat. Your fingers drag over the fresh wound on your chest and you gingerly place your hand over it. It calms you, allowing your heart beneath your fingertips to slow enough it doesn’t hurt. You focus on your breaths and feel the beautiful, if not still painful, air fill your lungs. </p>
<p>It’s then that you recall you aren’t sleeping alone. You look over and see Megatron is still in the same position on his berth, but for once his eyes are dark. You bite your lip, considering something very foolish, but the lick of fear at your neck urges you on. </p>
<p>Who’re you kidding? Of course you’re going to do it. You get to your feet and wrap up your infinite hotpack bedding, then move to the edge of the shelf. It isn’t really that far of a drop, but you recall it hurting when you’d landed the last time. At least now you can take your time. </p>
<p>You let go of your blanket and watch it descend a safe distance from Megatron. Pleased with the result, you sit down on the edge, then carefully turn and let your body drop, only holding on by your hands before you let go. The decreased distance doesn’t hurt nearly as much, and your good aim allows you to fall onto your bedding once you land, further dissipating the force. Except now your shoulders really, really hurt and you aren’t even going to look and see if your stitches are still in place. Knockout won’t know if you don’t tell him. </p>
<p>Though you’ve been around the giants for some time, seeing one sleeping fills you with a new sense of wonderment. You look up and see Megatron’s still form, easily as large as a two story building even just on his side. You stand and start walking toward him. It’s not like you haven’t seen him up close, but this moment… it can go on for hours and nobody would stop you. Though you’re still tired, your dream put you in a strange mood. You want to touch him, just for an instant. You need to. </p>
<p>Once close enough, you start to hear something. It isn’t the same whirring nor hum you’ve grown to enjoy. It’s something else. You glance up at his face and it’s still dark. You nibble your lip, and then let out a breath and press your face to his chassis, as high up as your height will allow. The sound is actually clearer through the metal, and you close your eyes to listen. </p>
<p>It’s… music. Nothing like you would hear on the radio, but more like when you let an instrument’s note go on for a long time. It’s drawn out, shifting subtly higher and lower, but still clear and beautiful. It makes you think of a cello, the deep baritone note reverberating through your skull and down through each of your bones. How it manages to comfort you through one sound alone is beyond your understanding. </p>
<p>You listen like time has last all meaning and you intend to live forever. Even when you open your eyes, you aren’t quite sure why. Not until you see that Megatron’s optics are now on, and watching you. Your breath catches in your throat and you pull away, wanting to come up with an excuse but knowing there’s nothing you can say to defend yourself. </p>
<p>“Sorry… Did I wake you?” You whisper, going over to kneel on your messy bedding. His optics follow your movements. </p>
<p>“What were you doing?” he asks, his voice somehow even deeper than it normally is, which you resent. </p>
<p>“Oh… just listening.” You look down, picking at a jagged piece of nail absently. </p>
<p>“To?” </p>
<p>You sigh. “You, obviously. Why do you have to make me say it? You saw.” You want to grumble like an adult, but it comes out more like you’re a whiny child. Probably just as accurate at the moment. </p>
<p>“What did you hear?” </p>
<p>Now you look up at him and tilt your head. “I’d call it music. It was nice. Calming. What does it come from?” </p>
<p>There’s a moment of quiet before he answers. “My spark.” </p>
<p>You blink, your pulse quickening as you realize you’d essentially had your ear to his chest, listening to his heartbeat <i>while he slept.</i> You’re so damn lucky his stare is bathing you in red light, because your face must be the color of a beet by now. </p>
<p>“Sorry, I didn’t know. That was probably weird.” Your hands come up to cup your face, trying to transfer some of the heat into your freezing fingers. The silence that grows when he doesn’t answer is smothering, and you want to crawl face-first into your shame fort and die. </p>
<p>His servo comes over and you look up to watch as he wraps it around you. It gives you something to lean back against, and you’re happy to do so. Between his helm looking at you and his servo, you feel wrapped up in him, even if the literal space between you is still a lot. </p>
<p>“Why are you awake?” he asks softly, and you think he’s only asking because he needs to go back into recharge himself. </p>
<p>“Nothing, just a dream.” You mean to wave off any of his concern (if it can even be called that), but you find his optical ridge lowers and he frowns. </p>
<p>“What do you mean?” </p>
<p>“Just a bad dream. I was drowning so my body woke me up before I had a heart attack.” You shoot him a smile, but he still looks perturbed. </p>
<p>“But you were in recharge,” he says lowly, that sense of frustration at not knowing something very evident in his tone. </p>
<p>“Oh, well compared to you guys, we don’t just… shut off. In fact our brains are just as active as when we’re awake like… half the time.” </p>
<p>“Yet you need it, or you will die?” </p>
<p>“Yep. We can go a couple days without it but then our brain starts malfunctioning after a while. We may not shut down but it’s basically the time when we process everything. Memories are stored, or not, and our body does a lot of its repairs. That’s why we have to sleep a lot when we’re sick or injured.” </p>
<p>“That sounds inefficient.” He growls. You can’t help a soft chuckle. </p>
<p>“Probably. But because of it we get dreams. They’re like little skits our mind puts together and we get to experience it firsthand. Like it’s trying to make up for the fact we have to lose eight hours every day. Here, be entertained.” You giggle and look into his optics, finding they’re much softer now as they watch you. </p>
<p>“Speaking of which…” you breathe, trying to get past the grip his unrelenting stare has on you. “I should try to go back to sleep. And stop keeping you from recharge.” </p>
<p>“You cannot stay there.” He says and you’re taken by surprise. Also trying not to be super disappointed. </p>
<p>“Right, probably shouldn’t have moved.” Before you can get up and try to move your things, Megatron scoops you and your bed up into his servo and redeposits you beside his helm. You just look up at him in confusion, having no clue why he moved you or how this is better. Especially since you’re right under his gaze, and close enough to feel his ex-vents. For…  certain reasons this is not conducive to sleeping, but you don’t want to admit that to him. </p>
<p>He’s not moving his servo either. It doesn’t lay under you but to your back again, shielding you from the edge of the bed. Which is probably why he moved you when you think of it. You’re definitely clumsy enough to roll off and break your face. </p>
<p>Still trying to hide how this all makes you feel, you cuddle back up in your bedding and just barely look at Megatron overtop of the sheet half covering your face. A long moment passes of you staring at each other. Being distracted as you are, you’re not expecting  for Megatron’s talon to come up and cover your eyes. The only possible way you can interpret it is playful and a nervous giggle bubbles past your lips. You pull at his talon but he just moves it to lay over your neck. Even this doesn’t make you feel threatened. You just grin and run your fingers over the metal. </p>
<p>“Go to sleep.” He growls as if it’s order, but you hum. </p>
<p>“Yes, sir.” You whisper and, caught up in the moment, twist your head around to place a kiss on the metal, intending it to be playful as well. It’s a blessing he doesn’t say anything, but it’s almost worse that you feel the tip of his finger lift from your neck to brush over your lips. You don’t have to see his expression to know there’s a measure of curiosity in the touch. Chances are good he's never felt anything so soft or gentle before, and you have an intense desire to show him just that. You nuzzle the metal and notice it warms under your touch. You plant another delicate kiss on the underside and then chance a look over at Megatron. </p>
<p>You shouldn’t have done that. You really, really shouldn’t have, because there’s such overwhelming warmth in his eyes you feel yourself set alight. It’s nothing like when he’s mad. It’s warm like scotch burning down your throat, or your first few seconds in a hot tub when you feel like you’ll boil. It’s too much and too hot but you want more- you want to drown in it. His ex-vent is equally as hot on your face, and you close your eyes for an instant. </p>
<p>Unfortunately the moment you do the heat vanishes. You open your eyes just to watch as his hulking body turns and he lays on his back, pulling his hand away with it. His eyes go dark and you curse him. You want to go over and kick the side of his helm and tell him he’s a bag of dicks for letting you in for a moment and then tearing it all away. AND he can just shut off and go to sleep. You, on the other hand, have to lay beside him and <i>suffer</i>  for every sleepless minute. </p>
<p>Which you do. Everything from your dream until now has your mind racing in the worst of ways and shutting it off has become impossible. There’s nothing you can do but toss and turn, longing for sleep, but it refuses to bring you any form of relief. Your internal clock says morning has come, but the lack of any sunlight lets you try to pass out for another few hours.</p>
<p>If you were awake you’d be surprised when you actually do drift off. Likely after your body is too tired to let your brain keep rambling and they collectively kick it to sleep. You support it even if a headache is guaranteed later. </p>
<p>In another pleasant twist, you have no dreams. The time you sleep away passes in the blink of an eye, and if your body didn’t feel ten times better you’d think you hadn’t slept at all. You rub the sleep out of your eyes when you wake and then carefully stretch. Your pains are no longer stabbing, but dull throbs and aches. It’s manageable, even if there’s still a painful tightness in your shoulders. It’s progress and you can’t help but be happy for it. </p>
<p>“I was not aware humans could sleep so long.” Megatron’s voice interrupts your morning routine and you look around to find him. Sitting up, you see he’s across the room from the berth in a chair, one of the old books in his servo. The way he’s sitting puts butterflies in your stomach and you nearly choke. His legs are spread in a dominant fashion, and his elbow rests on the arm of the chair, his free servo supporting his head. He doesn’t look up at you until an unreasonable amount of time has passed, and you realize he’s expecting an answer. </p>
<p>“Oh- um, I dunno. How long was I out?” </p>
<p>“Thirty hours.” </p>
<p>You think you heard him wrong, then figure with how worn out you were it actually makes sense. He also doesn’t know you were awake most of the night after he went back into recharge. </p>
<p>“No that’s not normal, but I didn’t sleep right away after...” you trail off and begin to wonder if anything you remember really happened. Maybe it was just another part of your weird dream. You wring your hands and look at him, though his attention is back on his book. </p>
<p>“Did we talk? After we went to sleep I woke up and we talked, right?” You don’t know if you want him to confirm that actually happened or dismiss it as a dream and accept you’re clinically insane. </p>
<p>“Yes, we spoke.” </p>
<p>Scratch that, you’re insane either way. You know this because your face warms and a hint of a smile plays over your lips. He let you in, even if it was only due to poor judgement in an interrupted sleep cycle. </p>
<p>“Ok, just wanted to get that straight. Uh… what have you been up to? Anything happen?” </p>
<p>You stand up and stretch properly, twisting out all the kinks from your long rest. </p>
<p>“Nothing of importance,” he says as he flips the page. “Did you dream again? You were making quite a racket.” </p>
<p>You stop and stare at him, tilting your head just slightly as you try to remember even a fragment of your dreams. Nothing comes. </p>
<p>“Nothing I can remember. We dream all the time but it’s pretty random whether we remember or not. Sorry if it bothered you. I didn’t know I made any noise.” Having lived alone since you moved away from home, you’d never actually had anyone to tell you that before. You just hope you don’t inadvertently say something in your sleep that’s going to get you in trouble. </p>
<p>Megatron doesn’t respond and you settle onto your knees, not moving away from your bed. </p>
<p>“Would you be willing to take me to Knockout’s lab? I need to get my things, plus change and eat.” Your request makes him look back to you, but the trace of irritation in his optics causes you to shrink back just a little. </p>
<p>“It’s ok if not. I can walk too.” You add, getting up from the berth so you can jump off. The landing stings a little but you walk it off. </p>
<p>“Can you now?” He taunts, irritation replaced by amusement as you get to the door and it doesn’t open. Your pout is automatic and your hands go to your hips. </p>
<p>“Ok I can walk through the hallway. And… wait until someone comes along to open the door. Can’t be that hard.” This just causes him to chuckle. You throw him a look, but quickly glance away again. You look to either side of the door to see if there’s some sort of digital pad you have to interact with to open it, but find nothing. You look further above and squint into the dark trying to see if there’s some kind of motion sensor. While you can’t see anything, you jump around a little to see if that works. A low rumble echoes across the room from Megatron and you look back to him, embarrassed and fully aware how stupid you must look, but giving him a sharp glare anyway because how dare he.</p>
<p>“Ok! Fine, I need your help.” You relent with an exasperated sigh. </p>
<p>“That is not how you address your master.” </p>
<p>Your heart skips a beat. “Will you help me… please?” </p>
<p>Megatron just tilts his head, not moving otherwise. Deep down you know what he wants but it takes a long moment to accept the fact he wants you to beg. You nibble at your lip, and decide if you have to do it, you’re going to retain some measure of control and do it your way. So you walk the length of the room and stop between his pedes. In as graceful a manner as you can, you sink to your knees and crane your neck to look up at him. </p>
<p>“Lord Megatron,” you say with what you think reverence sounds like, “please, if you would help your humble, tiny servant.” It’s all you can do to sound genuine, the look in his optics keeping you from smirking, but even to you it doesn’t sound that great. Understandably he doesn’t quite look pleased. Intrigued at best, and that’s good enough for you. </p>
<p>“You will do it correctly next time, pet.” he rumbles. You swallow thickly and absolutely refuse to let your breaths become faster. Your pulse though is impossible to control and your bastard heart beats as if his words actually had an effect. </p>
<p>Luckily he doesn’t expect you to say anything more, as evidenced by the fact he leans down to pick you up. He stands and walks toward the door, which opens without any pause. You look back at it as you exit into the hallway and it closes as soon as you’re through. </p>
<p>“So are you gonna tell me how the door works?” You ask, looking at his chassis from your spot on his servo. For some reason he hasn’t put you on his shoulder, but you don’t mind staying in his palm. </p>
<p>“Perhaps, if you behave.” </p>
<p>Your expression twists. “Is that how it’s going to be now?” You grouch, wondering when he suddenly got the upper hand. His only answer is a toothy smirk, which you quickly glance away from. </p>
<p>The distance to the lab is all too familiar, and a longing grows to see other parts of the ship. Not that you mind seeing Knockout, but you’re tired of the back and forth. Even tired of being carried. You want to explore on your own, but with all the security, you doubt you could. </p>
<p>“Megatron, is there any way for me to get around on my own?” You ask, your brows furrowed in thought. “Like some sort of keycard or… I dunno. I can’t ask you to carry me around all the time. Or Knockout. You two have better stuff to be doing. I need some independence, right?” You venture and hope he sees how the arrangement would benefit him as much as you. </p>
<p>Silence follows, but you trust that Megatron is thinking on your request. No more is said before you reach the lab, and enter to find it empty. Seeing your things still piled beside the sink, he sets you down near them and you eagerly find clothes and a poptart for breakfast. Standing with the pile in your hands, you look at Megatron. </p>
<p>“I gotta change so can you… Maybe wait outside?” Yep, this conversation again, and you know he’s even more stubborn than Knockout. </p>
<p>“No.” The word is cold and stern, you know he doesn’t want you arguing. Still, you try again. </p>
<p>“You may not care but it’s kind of a thing for-”</p>
<p>“I said no. Do not make me repeat myself again.” </p>
<p>Oof, alrighty, going to have to make this work. You huff and turn around, going back to get a towel and wrap it around yourself. Days alone at the beach have prepared  you for this moment and you manage to slip your clothes off while not being entirely naked in front of him. A towel isn’t much, but it’s something. With a warm sweatshirt on, a new set of jeans, and fluffy socks stuffed into your runners, you put the towel away and take a bite of the poptart. </p>
<p>You turn around to see Megatron hasn’t moved an inch and was probably staring the whole time. You don’t linger on the fact for the sake of your dwindling sanity. </p>
<p>“I have summoned a partner for you, to guide you through the ship.” </p>
<p>Your heart does a happy dance and you grin. “Really? That’s awesome!” </p>
<p>“You may not feel that way once you meet.” </p>
<p>Your grin instantly turns into a grimace. “The fuck does that mean?” </p>
<p>“Lugnut will show you the rooms you are allowed to enter.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Acceptance, or lack thereof</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So this chapter, and the one for tomorrow, are going to be a little shorter than usual. I kinda got rambling and before I knew it I had way more words for one chapter, so I cut it into two. Hope you guys don't mind! </p><p>Also for this chapter and the next, I wanna remind you guys my knowledge of Transformers lore is super limited, and this verse is a clustertruck of stuff thrown together just because I think it would be fun. But that's why I'm writing this :D  Lugnut will probably show off his dimwits more later</p><p>Anyway, have fun with the new characters!</p><p>Edit: next chapter is gonna be a doozy so don’t forget to check back in &gt;.&gt;</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>What does it mean when Megatron, literal leader of a civil war and billion year old alien, tells you that you won’t like someone? What could Lugnut possibly be like? Obviously they’re a decepticon and murder is their middle name but Megatron wouldn’t hand you over just to be yeeted into a wall, right? Right. </p><p>He takes you outside and your new partner is already there. On one knee. You can tell they’re absolutely massive even in that position, and that freaks you out even more. You’d assumed being the leader and already giant enough, Megatron was the tallest aboard, but nope. This one could squash you even easier. Won’t that be nice. </p><p>“Lord Megatron!” He says with far too much exuberance. You eye Megatron and you know by the nasty little smirk he has that this is going to be psychological torture. </p><p>“Lugnut is… one of my most loyal servants,” he says as if to reassure you. So considerate of him. </p><p>“You are to accompany them to all rooms up to clearance seven.” With that he hands you over, dropping you on Lugnut’s helm and moving along before you can screech any profanities at him. You’ve already started a list for later though. </p><p>“What is your designation?” The deep voice asks and you look down, only catching the top of his helm as you do. Now out of his leader’s presence though, he stands up and you’re flung backward. You grip onto… nothing. There’s nothing to grip onto but the edge of his plating before you can fall and <i>god fucking damnit Megatron you knew this too didn’t you-</i></p><p>“I’m human.” You finally answer after a single second of consideration, really more focused on trying not to fall off and drop four stories to an only very-likely and not assured death. You’d rather go for the assured death and avoid simply being paralyzed. </p><p>“Human, we are going to room 2-7-B,” he states, then takes a large step forward. Once you’re positioned on flat ground again, you’re actually a little impressed. Getting around might not take so long after all. He’s still a death trap though. </p><p>“What’s in 2-7-B?” </p><p>“It is where we store our fuel canisters, energon recovery tools-”</p><p>“Wait, wait,” you interrupt, waving a hand regardless of the fact you’re nowhere near his face and he can’t see it. “You’re taking me to a storage closet?”</p><p>“That would not be an inaccurate description.” </p><p>You pause only to let out an exasperated sigh. “Ok, why don’t we skip any and all closets and go straight to something more, I dunno, interesting?” </p><p>You can literally hear the gears whirring as he processes your words. “I do not understand your request.” </p><p>“Yeah, kinda figured,” you mumble. Then louder “Where does everyone hangout? There has to be some sort of… mess hall? Or lounge? Something?” </p><p>It’s not like you’re expecting couches and a flatscreen with a vending machine in the corner, but they have to have somewhere to decompress, right? Hell, even Megatron reads. </p><p>“The closest match to what you describe would be the firing range and combat training grounds.” </p><p>“Ohoho, yes, take me there.” As if you’d pass up a chance to see a bunch of mechs fight each other. Maybe someone will even let you shoot something. Now that would be fun. </p><p>Lugnut turns around and walks the opposite direction, taking you through new, and larger, corridors, which otherwise still look the same and bore you to death.  Then you come to a final door and there is a massive opening in front of you, enough that even Lugnut seems small in the space. You actually gasp. </p><p>“How big is this place?”</p><p>“The ship or this room?” </p><p>“Uh… both?” </p><p>“The ship totals two point five earth miles, and a wingspan of one point seven five earth miles, but the interior is smaller than that. As is this room.”</p><p>You actually snort because it was such a non-answer while still giving you at least some bits of information. Even if the interior was only half that, that’s still a huge amount of area. It’s crazy to you that you’ve only seen a total of four rooms, including the one you and Knockout left for earth from, and the mysterious one you entered back into with Megatron. </p><p>Deeper into the room you can see approximately three bots, two preparing to shoot at a target and the other standing by, presumably as a referee. Or maybe judge. </p><p>“Let’s go see what they’re doing.” You urge, patting Lugnut’s metal helm. He seems to hesitate for a split second, then charges forward just as you asked. </p><p>The first body you see clearly is actually a ‘con you recognize. It’s Breakdown, who you know Knockout is close to. You’d only seen him for a moment but he didn’t seem too bad, though he is an intimidating figure himself. </p><p>Beside him, evidently in some sort of competition, is a one-eyed bot standing eerily still. His puffed up chest is prominent, but you also notice the pretty purple detailing, and the fins sticking up from his helm. He seems more robotic than the others. </p><p>Serving as judge is a plain, smaller ‘con, who you feel like you've seen before as well, but placing them is difficult. You think you caught a glimpse of them when you were at the energon mine, but so much other stuff was going on at the time you could be wrong. Either way they seem different from the rest of the decepticons. Their design might be familiar, sharp blades with a silver and purple color scheme, but with less personality. They stand there as still as a training dummy.</p><p>The duel stops dead in the water as soon as you and Lugnut are close. All the red optics lock on you. Not the pair of you, just you, sitting atop his helm like an apple ready to be shot off in a magic show. The silence is too much to bear so you speak up. </p><p>“What’re you guys doing?” </p><p>“Training.” Comes Breakdown’s measured response, as if you couldn’t see there was more to it. </p><p>“Breakdown offered a duel to see who could shoot faster and I was required to join.” The other says, tilting his helm at you before walking over. He’s half the height of Lugnut which makes you feel slightly less threatened, but the way his optic narrows and widens at you is off putting. Like he’s looking through you, or maybe wondering what it would be like to pick you apart. </p><p>Now that you think of it, Megatron had mentioned a friend who was into torture when you met. This very well could be them. You swallow and force a small smile, but before you can speak up, they do. </p><p>“Why has lord Megatron kept you? Are you a remarkable specimen?” </p><p>Oh yeah, definitely a medical or science freak who just wants to know how you tick. You make a mental note to avoid him just the same as Starscream.</p><p>“I… I don’t think I can answer that. You’d have to ask him.” You deflect, then go for a topic change and tear your gaze from his single eye to the other mech. </p><p>“Breakdown, right? Nice to meet you. Knockout says good things.” You smile, and Breakdown scoffs. </p><p>“Really? He says you’re fucking nuts.” </p><p>You can’t help but laugh, even if it’s just to dissipate some of your nervous energy. “I mean, that is pretty fair after everything. Not that he seemed to mind.”</p><p>“Because he’s crazy too.” </p><p>“That checks out,” you say, but you’re desperate not to let a microsecond of silence come over the room, so you go on quickly. “But don’t let us interfere. I was hoping to see some decepticon competition.” </p><p>“It is not a competition. Breakdown lacks belief in facts and must be shown evidence.” The creepy bot says, not having looked away from you for a second. </p><p>“Then get over here and let your gun do the talking, pussy.” </p><p>Breakdown makes you chuckle, and you can see why he and Knockout get along. Both of them seem not to mind human things, whether it be actual humans like yourself, or the language. </p><p>You watch as both ‘cons line up again, and see that down at the end of the line is a virtual screen, and the third accomplice has a data pad in their servos, likely connected to the screen. Each one takes their battle stance and powers up their respective weapons up, Breakdown's being on his shoulder and the creeper on his arm. Then a signal unknown to you goes off, and the sound of weaponry is deafening. You cover your ears too late and feel a ringing, though it’s more like a shockwave of energy is rolling over you like you're a pin in a bowling alley being knocked over. Your insides swim and then scramble. </p><p>“Shockwave’s shot is zero point seven five seconds faster.” You hear the judge read out, and you hate how accurate his name is. Though you’re pretty sure your brain is goo now, the pain goes away and you look up to see Breakdown throwing a minor hissy fit, gone off to question the poor judge just reading out results. </p><p>That’s when you notice Shockwave isn’t in your field of view. Not someone you want anywhere <i>but</i> in front of you, if he has to be in the same room at all, you begin to look around. </p><p>Then all you see is a blur and realize you’re not on top of Lugnut anymore, but in a coiled servo. Shockwave is looking down at you and his dull finger presses at your stomach. </p><p>“How soft.” He mutters to himself, and you feel your stomach flip. It doesn’t last long though, because from your right side comes the wrecking ball that is Lugnut’s servo which slams into Shockwave. He drops you as he's sent sliding across the floor, and you suffer a drop of at least one full story. You're already mentally resigned, and ready for the snap your spine will make once you contact the ground. It’s only through Lugnut’s diligence that he catches you a fraction of a second before you turn into a bloody pulp. </p><p>“Human is not to be harmed, and Megatron left them in my care.” He says very sternly, and you feel absurdly like a doll two children are fighting over. <i>Dad said I could have her for today.</i> </p><p>“I was only providing a preliminary examination.” Shockwave says, mundane, as he picks himself up from the floor. “However, if you would like to settle this with violence, I am willing to do so.” His eye settles on you again and you sink further into Lugnut’s claw. </p><p>“Both of you shut up.” Breakdown interrupts. “Lugnut, you didn’t have to deck him. Shockwave, leave her alone. We all know you can’t be trusted not to do something shady that would get all our afts in trouble.” </p><p>Nobody can argue with that, even Shockwave. You cringe, but pat Lugnut’s servo. </p><p>“Let’s just go, big guy. I’m sure there’s a closet somewhere around here I gotta see.” </p><p>A moment of tense quiet fills the room before Lugnut slowly retreats. You don’t look back as you exit the room. </p><p>“Sorry for that.” You say, though you aren’t sure why. There isn’t anything you could’ve done to stop Shockwave even if you’d seen it coming. He raises his servo over his helm and you slip down onto it, again finding a flat part to sit on as he walks. </p><p>“It is my job. Megatron made it clear I was to protect you.”</p><p>You smile at that, feeling a little warmer knowing Megatron bothered to have your guide double as your bodyguard. No wonder he chose the biggest bot on the ship. </p><p>“You seem like a good… uh, what’s your role around here anyway?” </p><p>“I do what Megatron requires of me.” </p><p>You give a breathy laugh, then lay down and prop your elbows on his helm, resting your head between your palms. </p><p>“Even if that means carrying me around all day?” </p><p>“It is important to Megatron, and therefore me.” </p><p>His loyalty is more endearing than it should be. A moment of contemplation follows as you realize this could be a good opportunity to get some information. </p><p>“So, Lugnut… have you worked for Megatron long?”</p><p>“Yes, since Cybertron. I am his most loyal servant.” </p><p>You nod, having expected as much. “Can I ask you a stupid question then?” </p><p>There’s no hesitation. “Yes.” </p><p>You let your body relax and fold your forearms to make a pillow that your rest your head on, finding that his long steps are actually quite smooth and you enjoy the walk. </p><p>“I only know bits and pieces. So… can you tell me what this war is all about? I know it started back on your planet and it kinda destroyed everything, but like… why?”</p><p>“That is not entirely correct," he corrects. Sounds like you’re about to get schooled. You mentally strap in. </p><p>“Cybertron first started its decay due to overpopulation and a depletion of resources. War began as each city struggled to sustain its population, and the fighting began to lay waste. The decepticons are survivors, those who struggled to provide for their brethren, and the autobots are the cowards who took advantage of the war for their own gain. Megatron, wise and clever, grew his militia and sought to take over the planet for its own good. The war was… is, still long, but only when we conquer the autobots can true restoration of our home begin.”</p><p>You follow and try to take that dump of information in. The way Lugnut describes it really does make it sound like they’re the good guys. Except you know they can’t really be, not completely, with how violent and destructive they are. You wonder if it's accurate or some kind of military propaganda he's been made to memorize. Still, you can’t help but sympathize and feel you understand Megatron a little better. </p><p>“You must be very brave then, Lugnut.” </p><p>He gives a small pleased hum. “Would you tell that to Megatron?” </p><p>You laugh. “Sure, buddy. I’ll brag about how great you’ve been.” His excited buzzing makes you grin. </p><p>Lugnut continues his tour, and you let him show you even the boring rooms after what happened when you met with other decepticons. You see a few mechs that look like the referee from earlier, and those you saw back at the energon mine. Lugnut tells you they’re vehicons, grunts basically. None of them seem bothered by you so that’s something. </p><p>Unfortunately they aren’t the last decepticons you come by. One exits their room just as you start to pass by, and you all stop at an impasse. You stare up at the winged, red and blue being, somehow even larger than Lugnut. They remind you too much of a more powerful Starscream for your comfort, and you sit up and go rigid. </p><p>The gaze they set on you is uncomfortable to say the least, especially when their optics narrow and they lean in. </p><p>“You must be the human Starscream mentioned.” He says, his tone low enough to cause concern, but Lugnut doesn’t appear to be moving away. “I never thought I would see the day Megatron took in one of your kind. You must be… unique to catch his attention.” </p><p>You want to be pleased with his words, really want to feel good about the fact that they all think you’re so special, but everything about this bot unnerves you. </p><p>“Do not get any ideas, Thundercracker. Human is not leaving my care.” </p><p>Thundercracker looks down to meet Lugnut’s eye, then stands tall again. “It’s only a matter of time before he hands you over to Shockwave or myself, little bug. Do not get comfortable.” </p><p>With that thinly veiled threat, Thundercracker pushes past Lugnut, who moves aside, and continues on his way down the hall. You shiver. It’s no surprise he’s on a similar level as Shockwave, since they both have that clinical eye that makes you feel like you’re being torn open with only a look. Not a person, but a specimen to be examined. </p><p>Taking a deep breath, you manage to compose yourself and give Lugnut a pat. “Thanks for the backup.”</p><p>“You do not have to worry. I will protect you so long as lord Megatron’s order stands.” </p><p>Ah, right. Everything hinges on Megatron. It’s not exactly a comfort but you know for the moment you won’t be dissected for an alien biology project. </p><p>“Uh, where is Megatron anyway?” </p><p>“On the bridge, receiving reports. We have not finished looking at all the rooms yet, Human.”</p><p>“I know but… would it be ok if I went and saw him? If he doesn’t want me there then we can go. Just leave it up to him, yeah?” </p><p>Lugnut really can’t argue when you put it like that, not willing to even somewhat try to overstep and make a decision that belongs to Megatron. You thank their metal gods that this one is a little thicker than the rest of the ‘cons as he starts walking toward the bridge.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Desire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Alternate title is just "Horny and fluff" because that's all this heckn is. Megatron love chapter and MC actively starts dying. Beginning of something (eye emoji)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Obediently Lugnut takes you to the bridge, the same place you had almost been killed by Starscream, but you don’t find you’re that upset about it. You’ll get to see the stars again and that makes it a wonderful place no matter what happened there. </p>
<p>As you enter the large open area, you see the familiar figure of Soundwave, complete with Laserbeak on his shoulder. The second you’re through the door Laserbeak bends his neck around in a way that would be impossible for an organic and eyes you. His feathers ruffle a little and you think he’s imagining how easy it would be to swoop in and pluck you from Lugnut’s helm. Too easy. You shoot him a quick glare meant to remind him he doesn’t have permission to snack on you. </p>
<p>Megatron’s voice pulls everyone’s gaze however, because he sounds angry, letting out a primal growl you’ve decided is something between a lion and a wolf. </p>
<p>“How did this happen?” He demands, and Soundwave tilts his helm. </p>
<p>“We will find out soon.” He sounds sure of himself, but you imagine he’d have to when facing a disappointed Megatron. </p>
<p>Who has just realized you and Lugnut have entered the room, his volcanic gaze burning through your guide and then you before returning to Soundwave. </p>
<p>“That is not good enough.” He almost roars, standing up from his throne and walking toward Soundwave. He gets exceptionally close, though the mech doesn’t shy away. He stands his ground and watches his leader enter his personal space. </p>
<p>“No one rests until you have an answer.” He rumbles. </p>
<p>“I understand, my liege.” Soundwave responds with a nod, not needing to be told twice that this is going to be his priority. </p>
<p>“Dismissed.” Megatron hisses and waves a servo before going to sit back on his throne. Soundwave goes past you with little more than a glance before he’s gone, knowing he can't be lingering to talk to either of you even if he wants to, which he probably doesn't. </p>
<p>“My Lord,” Lugnut starts, but Megatron raises his servo again to stop him before he can bow any further and dump you from his helm. </p>
<p>“You are dismissed as well.” </p>
<p>Your heart drops and your frown, feeling guilty for even suggesting you come to see him. Though you do understand why he wouldn’t want to see you at the moment. That is, until he amends his statement. </p>
<p>“Leave her.” </p>
<p>Lugnut stops mid-turn. Once he's registered the command he raises his servo for you to crawl onto, then deposits you on the floor. You watch as he goes through the door and you’re left alone with Megatron. You note that you actually feel relieved, more than you have any right to. </p>
<p>Megatron doesn’t say anything, busy brooding on his throne, though you can hear his talons scraping the metal of his armrest. Without another thought you start walking toward him. You have no way of getting up to see him though, so you linger around his pedes and use the moment to look at the inscriptions inlaid on the metal. There are some pictures you tilt your head at, not understanding what they’re doing despite your earlier history lesson, and the glyphs are still complete gibberish to you. Still you find it aesthetically appealing, even if it's probably doomsday or genocide related.</p>
<p>“Where are you?” Megatron suddenly asks, and you realize he can’t see you from where he’s sitting. You move to his pede and place a hand on the metal. </p>
<p>“Right here. Just admiring your throne,” you reply with a smile. His servo reaches down and picks you up to place you on the armrest where he can see you. His servo settles to your right, but you know he’s still tense. You don’t even think before you reach out and touch his finger. </p>
<p>“What’s wrong?” </p>
<p>His optics flick away from the distant point he was staring at and you’re positively <i>giddy</i> to see his gaze soften just a shade once on you. </p>
<p>“One of our energon mines was destroyed,” he says bitterly. You can’t help but freeze up, immediately thinking you must have led the autobots to the mine when you made your escape. But why did it take them more than a day to attack? You reason they could’ve brought backup and it makes complete sense how even the busy mine could be overcome if they brought their whole force along to wreck it. </p>
<p>“Oh shit- fuck, Megatron I’m so sorry I didn’t think they were still following me and I didn’t know it was a mine until I got there.” Your hands go to your face and you feel cold all at once, panic sending ice through your limbs instead of blood. </p>
<p>Then Megatron chuckles. An actual, genuine chuckle that rolls through the metal you’re sitting on. You look up, utterly confused, and frown. </p>
<p>“What?” </p>
<p>He just tilts his helm. You get the impression he’s savoring the dumbfounded and now annoyed look on your face. </p>
<p>“It was not the same mine you were at.” </p>
<p>You should be relieved but you’re just embarrassed, heat dumped back into your body as your skin flushes and you look away. </p>
<p>“That’s good… I guess.” </p>
<p>“Yes. The mine was one of the oldest, nearly depleted, but the discovery by the autobots is still a loss.” </p>
<p>You just nod. Then his claw is under your chin, tilting your face up so you’ll look at him. You’re reluctant but can’t even consider fighting him. </p>
<p>“I enjoy this look on you.” He hums, his anger melting away every second you’re in his company. </p>
<p>You can’t stop your eyes from widening, but it’s swiftly replaced by a frown as you jerk your head away. </p>
<p>“Asshole, you just like to see me suffer.” </p>
<p>“I do.” Oh <i>fuck</i> now he’s <i>purring?</i> Have some self control you sadistic bastard.</p>
<p>He doesn’t. He moves his talon from under your chin to your cheek, rubbing his cold metal over your burning skin. You stifle a moan, the relief it brings just making everything worse. </p>
<p>“So warm,” he comments softly. You’re pretty sure you’re about to have a heart attack, and honestly? You can’t bring yourself to care. If he killed you like this right now you would absolutely die happy. </p>
<p>Which is why you’re not sure if it’s an act of torture or mercy when he pulls away, again resting his servo beside you as if nothing happened. You take a deep breath and compose yourself enough to change the subject. </p>
<p>“Is there anything I can do? Like to help?” </p>
<p>Mehatron looks far, far too amused at your question. </p>
<p>“What is it you think you can do, little one?” </p>
<p>“Uh… I dunno. I don’t know half of what goes on here. Except like, experiments and competitions. You have some creepy as fuck dudes around here y’know.” </p>
<p>“I am aware.” Not the answer you were expecting but hey, at least he knows. </p>
<p>“So just… give me a job. I want to help. Whatever you need me to do.”</p>
<p>“Lugnut has rubbed off on you I see.” </p>
<p>You roll your eyes. “It’s called being loyal, numbnuts. You shouldn’t question it.” </p>
<p>His optical ridge raises. “Telling me what to do now?”</p>
<p>“Yep. Just gonna take over the decepticons when you aren’t looking. As if they all don’t wanna eat me for lunch.” </p>
<p>You slump against his servo and sigh dramatically. You feel something at the back of your head and realize he’s… petting you. Running his claw through your hair and grazing it along your scalp. </p>
<p>“Do not expect acceptance from the others. The only thing they respond to is fear, and you are but a little mouse.” </p>
<p>You look up to him and stare for a moment, his words reminding you of what Lugnut had told you. </p>
<p>“Some also just respect you for what you’ve done. They’d be crazy not to.” You let out a soft hum as his finger presses at the back of your neck. </p>
<p>“Is that your position?” He asks as he turns your head so you’ll keep your eyes on him, not even realizing they had started to drift away as you followed his petting. You blink slowly and then nod. </p>
<p>“I’m not afraid, so yeah. You’re… impressive.” Your tone lilts just enough to make the word sound open ended, as if it could apply to many aspects of him. </p>
<p>“You have yet to see how true that is.” </p>
<p>Are you crazy or was that a euphemism? Your eyes widen and you reflexively try to move away from him. But, you’re a dumbass, and somehow manage to fall off the armrest and very nearly land in his lap. Megatron catches you before you knock yourself unconscious on his metal leg and you’re left to long for death as you lay in his servo. </p>
<p>“So eager,” he purrs again, his face bearing a sharp-toothed smile. You cover your face with your arm. </p>
<p>“I take it back, let them eat me,” you grumble, but then Megatron stands. It distracts you from your mortification for the moment, and you have to pay attention as he moves you to his shoulder and you find a spot to sit. </p>
<p>“I have something to show you,” he says, and your thoughts race for a moment before you swallow that down and mentally slap yourself across the face. You don’t trust yourself to speak, so you don’t. </p>
<p>The walk isn’t too far, and you’re mentally trying to put together a picture of where things are on the ship. You were just at the bridge, which is obviously near the front of the ship. When you exit Megatron goes… up. One of the doors is actually a kind of elevator, full of purple light and an ambient hum. You look around as you ascend countless feet, and then it stops without any sort of signal. Megatron steps forward and the door opens. The sight which greets you causes you to gasp, loudly. </p>
<p>In front of you is an open, but relatively small area you can only describe as an observatory, though you’re sure that’s not what it is because that has no practical use on a ship. Around you are billions of stars, shining defiantly against the void of space. To one side you can even see the milky way (you think) and it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. You could cry. </p>
<p>You stand up and look at Megatron, only to find he’s already staring at you. You don’t know for how long but you don’t have time to be embarrassed. You’re Belle in the library and your beast has just given you something beautiful. You grin and step close enough you can put a hand on his cheek. </p>
<p>“What is this place? It’s… stunning,” you ask, adjusting your position but staying close as he turns to look back to the stars. </p>
<p>“It is our navigational hub," he answers before he demonstrates and raises his servo to tap one of the stars. Suddenly the sky zips forward and a close-up view is given of the star he had chosen. There’s information to the side but it’s all in cybertronian. Your jaw may as well be on the floor. </p>
<p>“Holy shit, that’s so cool," you gush like the excited nerd you are. You actually have to resist the urge to bounce up and down in glee. You may not have aspired to be an astronaut or a physicist, but come on, who couldn’t find this sci-fi stuff awesome? </p>
<p>“Wait wait,” you tap the side of his helm, “can you show me Cybertron?” You ask excitedly, but slow your roll when he clearly hesitates and his face twists into a frown. </p>
<p>“Oh… I’m sorry that was really insensitive. You don’t have to, I'm just… curious.” You move a little further away and wrap your hands around your body, and are glad you have when you see him shake his helm. </p>
<p>“It is not what it once was.” Megatron says solemnly, as if to warn you before he pulls up the planet from the myriad of stars. You know he knows it by heart, and wonder if this is a place he’s come before to remind himself what he’s fighting for. </p>
<p>The planet pops up and it’s… still somehow beautiful, even though it’s only a shred of its former glory. You’re awestruck. </p>
<p>“It’s incredible.” You gasp, watching as the holoform of the planet slowly turns. Yes it’s scarred, and looks all but abandoned, but you can still see the intricate circles that may have been cities countless years ago, and plates of metal interlaced like a complex puzzle. There are gaping holes where pieces are missing and you wonder if more of the mechs had originally transformed into flying machines, or if it’s just part of the destruction. </p>
<p>Megatron’s optics slowly move from the planet to you, and you meet his gaze despite the very small amount of space between you. Your smile is gentle. </p>
<p>“It was beautiful… when I was young,” he says with remorse dripping from every word. </p>
<p>“It’s still beautiful,” you assure, pressing your hand back against his face. “And will be back to its former glory when you’re in charge, right?” </p>
<p>He nods, and you feel the wave of determination give him strength as he looks back to Cybertron. “I will not let our planet die.” </p>
<p>Your eyes trace over his face, watching his optics lock onto his home. “I know it probably doesn’t mean anything coming from me… but I’m proud of you. Of what you want to do. If it was my home that was at risk, I don’t know if I’d have the strength to put up the same fight you are.” </p>
<p>Megatron smirks ever so slightly. “You are a decepticon, no? This is your home. You are fighting for it.” </p>
<p>You can’t help but roll your eyes. “I guess. Not really doing much but… yeah.” </p>
<p>You sit down and nestle yourself close to his neck, the movement making Megatron shiver and hum. You utter a soft apology and try not to touch too much of his delicate wiring. </p>
<p>“Will you show me more?” You ask, and are happy that he obliges, pulling up another planet and telling you a short story of how he was stranded there once and left for dead. You begin to realize his fight has not always been purely tactical moves in a game of chess. It’s been bloody. He’s almost died, or really died, on several occasions. He’s lost an innumerable amount of decepticons to the cause, and losses on the autobot side were even heavier. It sinks in that this is true war, the kind you had to read about in history class. War with casualties, where anything is fair game. Their species depends on it, and both sides are just as desperate to win. </p>
<p>You spend a long time with Megatron staring at the stars and listening to his war stories, amused by his reactions through every retelling. Some make him boastful and proud, while others have him growling and resentful. The emotions play through him like waves, coming and going with ease, every one feeling just as natural as the last. You admire him shamelessly. He instills fear in his subordinates, but he also has intellect and charisma that make him a clear leader. </p>
<p>“I have to inform you...” He breaks the drawn out silence that had set in once his story was finished. You look up from his lips to his optics, your head resting on your hand as your elbow balances on your raised knee.</p>
<p>“I am able to smell.” You blink because that is the absolute last thing you thought he was going to say, especially in this tender moment. You quickly scoff. </p>
<p>“Are you telling me I stink? I literally just bathed-”</p>
<p>“I do not mean that,” he interrupts before you can go on a tangent. “Your pheromones. Human bodies speak in a range of scents we can pick up. Strong emotions result in stronger scents.” </p>
<p>“What are you saying?” you ask, though do you really want to know? You have an idea what he means and frankly, it’s horrifying. </p>
<p>“You smell… tantalizing.” He rumbles, his voice soft. “What is it you are feeling?” </p>
<p>You aren’t going to give into this. Nope. He’s not going to get you worked up a SECOND time <i>TODAY.</i> You shoot him a defiant look and raise your brow at him. </p>
<p>“If you can smell me so well, you shouldn’t have to ask.” You’re taunting him and you know it. Slowly his helm tilts toward you and you can feel him take a deep breath. </p>
<p>“I would say desire. Are you sure you wouldn’t like to correct me?” <i>Put up a fight, deny it.</i> He knows all too well and you don’t want to give in and do exactly what he wants, but how can you possibly admit to any of what you're feeling right now and keep your cool? Your heart is already beating harder. You hum to hide your internal screaming slipping out to become external. </p>
<p>“I’m sure you’d know if I was lying anyway.” You sigh, looking out to the stars just to avoid his eye. You can’t keep up the charade for long and you both know it. He has a power over you that only grows with his little teasing sessions, which he probably just does for shits and giggles. </p>
<p>“Say it.” He breaths and <i>fuck</i> is his voice raspy. You have to close your eyes and take a moment, but he doesn’t let you. He raises his servo and curls his talons around your body, the pointed tips pressing at your chest and stomach, making your breath hitch and you automatically look at him. </p>
<p>“<b>Say it,</b>” he demands this time. Though his voice is still soft, it’s more animalistic and you lose your fight. </p>
<p>“Ok, fuck, fine… you’re… attractive. I’m attracted. To you. A little. It’s just the whole power thing, ok? I’m weak.” You whimper and pout at him, genuinely upset he’s forcing this out of you. Not as upset as you should be though. </p>
<p>You absolutely lose your mind when you see his tongue slip between his denta and graze over your cheek. It’s thick and heavy and unbelievably warm, even with some kind of lubricant that’s left on your skin after the fact. You mewl and sink into a panting puddle on his shoulder. He makes a deep, engine revving kind of noise as his claw moves to tug at your lip. Another second and you can see it slipping into your mouth.</p>
<p>You pull away and he growls, but you keep your hand on his claw and away from your face. </p>
<p>“Megatron you have to stop doing this.” You’re almost begging, and stare up at him through half-lidded eyes. </p>
<p>“Why should I, pet?” </p>
<p>“That’s… yeah, that’s a fair question.” You swallow thickly. “So uh, my heart will probably explode if you do. And also it’s really fuckin’ mean when you leave me hanging.” </p>
<p>He laughs. “Did you expect me to be kind? Or perhaps considerate? I am doing this for my own enjoyment, not yours.” </p>
<p>Why does that sound so hot? He basically just said he doesn’t need your permission but the thirsty part of your brain finds it so sexy. Maybe it’s some kind of decepticon mind control. </p>
<p>“You just wanna keep teasing me?” You ask, getting better at controlling your breathing by some miracle you don't want to question. </p>
<p>“For now, yes. Imploring me to stop will not help you. Do not try.” </p>
<p>Well, conversation, and physiological torture moment is over apparently, since he looks away and begins walking out of the nice star room. </p>
<p>What the fuck just happened? For once you actually feel uncomfortable on Megatron’s shoulder, curled near his helm, still in puddle form. The worst part is it isn't even because of his sexy torture. It's because you have no idea what your purpose is on the ship. What does he expect of you? If it’s just someone to talk to and tease you won’t refuse, not even close. You’re just beginning to realize you had no idea what to expect of this relationship and the fact it’s developing into <i>something</i> scares you. It scares you more than anything has so far. For as long as you can remember, you had no future. Every day was waiting until the day you would die. Every day was wasting time, wasting away. </p>
<p>Now you see a future. You see yourself having a purpose beyond wasting space, and the idea terrifies you. Everything is changing, you wanted it to, but you weren’t ready. You’re not ready as you feel Megatron’s body hum all around you, reminding you of your place in his life. You don’t know how to talk to him about this, or if you even should. The idea of admitting you’re scared of something as mundane as living has you sinking into yourself, a defensive wall building itself a brick per second around your mind.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Broken</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning: this chapter contains a detailed description of a pretty bad bout of depression, complete with self hate, negative thoughts, and suicidal tendencies. Please be careful reading it. It’s not meant to upset anyone, and I actually found it really therapeutic to write. I hope some of you feel the same reading it. </p>
<p>Know that I love all of you and you’re doing great just by being here &lt;3333</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lugnut meets you at the bottom of the elevator and you’re handed back off to him, feeling more like he’s your babysitter than anything now. Megatron goes off to the left, you don’t know where, you don’t care right now. You direct Lugnut to take you back to the lab for a meal, time still means nothing up here so you just call it lunch. It consists of a bowl of dry ramen with the soup packet lightly salting it. As far as space food goes it’s probably gourmet. </p>
<p>With everything on your mind, you ask him to take you back to Megatron’s room. </p>
<p>“I can’t do that.”</p>
<p>“How come?” You look down at him and frown. He was supposed to do what you asked, why the sudden refusal?</p>
<p>“Only Lord Megatron can enter his room. Anyone else needs to be let in from the inside.” From the dejected way he says this you figure he has some experience with it. You could see Megatron hiding away in his room just to avoid a conversation with his biggest fan. </p>
<p>You let out a heavy sigh and shake your head. “Just… leave me at the door then. He’ll come back eventually.” </p>
<p>“I can’t leave you alone.” </p>
<p>“I mean… it’s Megatron’s room. Even just hanging outside I’m sure I’ll be fine.” You sound sure, but he doesn’t seem completely convinced. “Lugnut, I relieve you of guard duty once you drop me off. Does that cover you?” </p>
<p>He ponders this for a moment, then nods. “That should be fine.” </p>
<p>So he takes you to Megatron’s room and puts you on the ground, then makes his way off to do whatever else his job was on the ship. He’d never answered your question about that. He looks happy to do it though, you’re pretty sure you notice a skip in his step. With a sigh you go and sit against the cold wall, leaning your head against it and staring up at the dim ceiling. </p>
<p>You probably need sunlight. And a decent meal. It’s starting to get to you and you feel the familiar tug at the back of your mind. It’s so quiet. Everything is quiet and you feel the voice rise up from your subconscious where it had been buried for the last few days. Your eyes start to burn and you hardly have the energy to blink. </p>
<p><i>Worthless… He’ll toss you aside… You’re nothing more than a plaything… A distraction.</i> </p>
<p>You wish the voice was that of a monster. Something sinister and evil, something one iota easier to dismiss. But it’s your own voice speaking to you now, relaying all of your feelings directly to your mind, just in case you’d forgotten for a moment. </p>
<p><i>He doesn’t care about humans… You aren’t special… Once he gets what he wants you’ll be useless… It’s just an act.</i> </p>
<p>Your head lolls forward and you feel the tears spill over your cheeks. Your chest is tight and breathing is difficult. It’s too familiar for you to panic. It’ll pass, it always has. You just need to wait. With some effort you pull yourself together and lay on the floor, having an impromptu depression nap to pass the time before Megatron returns. </p>
<p>It should be harder to sleep on the floor, but it isn’t. Even after your long rest, the one you hadn’t even been awake from for more than 8 hours, you manage to pass out in the hallway. Danger doesn’t cross your mind.</p>
<p>You wake up when Megatron picks you up from the ground and brings you into his dark room, but you don’t react. He probably knows you aren’t asleep, but you keep your eyes closed and play limp. He doesn’t say anything, even as he moves your bed back to the shelf and sets you on it. You don’t do anything more than curl up and try to go back to sleep, not bothering to change or even move under the covers. </p>
<p>When you wake hours later, you don’t get up. The room is dark as it always is and you lay there staring at the wall, unsure if Megatron is still there and unwilling to check. You do take a moment to undress down to your underwear and the tanktop you had on, and then slip into your little bed. You fall back asleep eventually, nothing good on your mind. </p>
<p>The second time you wake up in tears but don’t recollect why. It’s a hole in the dam though, and you try your best to keep it at bay. Only when you caution to look at the berth and realize Megatron isn’t in the room do you let loose. Fully and completely. You sob, and wail, and let your eyes burn and your bed become soaked with tears. You pull at the sheets and sob until you’re too tired to go on. Until your tears are all spent and you feel like no more than a hollow husk of a person. The voice is still there, whispering into your empty head all the things you know about yourself and your situation. You fall back asleep. </p>
<p>The third time you wake, you’re angry. Angry at yourself for feeling this way, at life for putting you here, and at Megatron for dangling the carrot of hope in front of your face. For not killing you when that’s all he had to do. The room is still empty and you scream. You thrash and pull at the sheets and pound on the floor until you’re wailing again. </p>
<p>This hurt is so much worse than the physical. Even your throbbing hands and aching head have no effect other than to add to your misery. The real pain is in your heart. Each traitorous beat that keeps you alive. Each breath you’ve fought for. You don’t want it. You don’t want <i>life</i> and yet you’ve been spared time and time again. How can you deserve this? </p>
<p>You fall asleep again, curled in the fetal position, weeping softly because you don’t have the energy for anything else. </p>
<p>You wake up a few more times only to force yourself back asleep. How much time has passed, you don’t know. Your stomach may be hungry but it’s numb to the feeling now. You know you’re thirsty because of the lake you’ve cried and the dryness in your mouth, but even that doesn’t prompt you to get up. Not once. You lay in bed sleeping the days away. Or at least you hope it’s days. You hope you can sleep away the weeks and months and years until your heart naturally gives out and you’ll be done with this cruel world. </p>
<p>If it weren’t for Megatron, you may have. He wakes you up after you’ve gone to sleep for the umpteenth time. You open your burning, dry eyes to see he’s carrying your whole bed over to his berth where he lays down with you like you did all those nights ago. It feels as though a lifetime has passed since then. </p>
<p>“You have slept many days,” he states, and you once again can’t place his tone. You could twist it into worry, but that would be a lie. “Knockout said you need fluids.” </p>
<p>And, in front of your face, his claws set down a water bottle with the utmost delicacy, not wanting to pierce the thin plastic. You just close your eyes and swallow. </p>
<p>“I-I’m good.” Your voice sounds awful. Dry and weak and hoarse from disuse. It’s either that or your refusal that prompts Megatron to pull the covers off of you and force you to sit up. He provides his servo for you to lean on and you do, ready to slump down into a ball again. </p>
<p>“What’s wrong?” Now there is definitely something in his voice, but it’s harsher than concern. He’s demanding an answer, an <i>explanation</i> as to your behavior. </p>
<p>“Everything.” Is all you can manage. You haven’t looked at his face the entire time, and predictably he forces you to with a finger under your chin. You look at him but your gaze is lazy and lidded with an unsatisfiable desire to just <i>sleep.</i> </p>
<p>The only thing that could possibly rouse some life from you right then is Megatron shrinking down to a third of his size. Which he does. You blink slowly and you miss it, but feel that instead of one large claw under your chin, you feel his whole servo. Your eyes flit open again and you look at him with as much intrigue as your body can manage in its current state. He’s not human sized like Knockout was, and he’s still easily considered a giant, but he’s much easier to take in. He’s kneeling in front of you and you still have to crane your neck to look up at him. But you could wrap your arms around his waist and sit in his lap-</p>
<p>He lets go of you and your mind snaps to the present as you watch him open the water bottle and then put it into your hand. </p>
<p>“Drink this yourself or I will make you.” He growls, and he’s so much softer than you’re used to in volume alone. You want to melt but it just makes your heart heavier. Still, you don’t see any way to argue with him, so you bring the bottle to your lips and take a sip. Well, it starts as a sip, and then before you know it the bottle is gone and crunched in your hand. You’re a little surprised really, but Megatron lets out a pleased noise. </p>
<p>“Good girl.” He says, lifting his servo to caress your face, even though his servo is still more than the size of your whole head. You move your face away and look at the ground. As expected, he adjusts his aim and instead grabs your chin to make you look at him. Your eyes still refuse to meet his optics but that isn’t something he can force. </p>
<p>“Explain to me what is wrong. Are you ill?” </p>
<p>You let out a bitter laugh at his choice of words. “Yes, you could say that.” Your smile and voice are chilling even to you. </p>
<p>“Then I will have Knockout come-”</p>
<p>“It isn’t anything he can fix,” you interject, your tone sharp. “It isn’t anything anyone can fix. I’m broken.” </p>
<p>“Nothing that is broken cannot be fixed. You are human, you heal.” </p>
<p>“Not this.” You nearly whimper and close your eyes as a tear leaks out, regardless of how hard you’re trying to stay under control. His thumb raises to wipe the rogue tear away. </p>
<p>“Explain,” he says again, but this time it’s softer. He sounds… genuine. Like he really wants to know what’s happening to your strange little body. As mad as you were at him for a time, you can’t be right now. You’re empty and sad in equal measures, with no room for anything else. </p>
<p>You take another shaky breath and work up the nerve to look at him. “My brain isn’t… right. It makes me feel bad. Depressed. It’s… why I want to die. I feel badly about myself and my life and generally everything in it.” The tears give way again and you sniffle. Megatron is kind enough to let go so you can wipe your mess of a face on the edge of your shirt. </p>
<p>He’s quiet as you do so. You figure he’s waiting for more and try to comply. How can you explain it to someone like him? </p>
<p>“It feels like… my spark, my heart, is dying. Like that light is going out but my body is fine. I’m alive but on the inside there’s nothing. And when there isn’t nothing, it’s even worse. It’s just pain. But pain like loss, and regret, and guilt all rolled up into one.” </p>
<p>Megatron is still quiet and you look down, rubbing your burning, puffy eyes with your hands. If he’s trying to use the silence to get you to open up, it’s unfortunately working. </p>
<p>“Everything in me says… to give up. That it isn’t worth the fight. That me and everyone around me would be better off if I stopped.” Your lip quivers and you look down at your hands as they settle in your lap. </p>
<p>“And then there was you. And I can’t help but wish you’d just killed me that day, because I know that this is going to end and you’re going to get tired of me or sick of me and then I’ll have nothing- less than nothing.” </p>
<p>You can’t hold back anymore. This is the worst part, the hope and happiness you felt until reality came and punched you in the face. As much as you hate it, you start sobbing again, tears you didn’t even know you still had in you. </p>
<p>“And it just <i>hurts</i> so much because I wanted this, I wanted you,” you blubber between choked breaths. “You made me feel like I was part of something and I could have a purpose but it’s just a fucking lie. You didn’t mean any of it and I’m just that goddamn gullible. I’m only here for some kind of sick curiosity and once my purpose is served you won’t want me around anymore.” </p>
<p>You’ve used too much air and you choke, wrapping your arms around yourself as you lean over and wail like you’ve just lost everything you cared about in the world. Because, in a sense, you have. </p>
<p>It’s only once the crying subsides somewhat that you feel Megatron. He uncurls your tight body and lays you down on your back only so he can hover over you. His body is still large and heavy and you feel so very safe under it even knowing what you know. You’re forced to look at his face even though it occasionally blurs with tears before you blink them away. </p>
<p>“Listen to me very carefully, pet,” he starts, unmistakably serious but still soft. “You have no right to assume what I want with you. I chose you from among billions for a reason. This reason.” He moves his servo over your chest and the tenderness reminds you of your mark. “What I gave you was only a partial translation. This,” his finger brushes over the corner of the detailed symbol, careful not to interfere with its healing, “this is my name. These,” he traces the other corner, and then the rest, “have different meanings. Your class is warrior, and you are a queen among men.” </p>
<p>Did he just say what you think he did? </p>
<p>“I am your god, your master, and you are <b>mine.</b> I do not choose worthless things. Soon I will rule this world and Cybertron and I intend to have you, my pet, at my side, unless you give me reason to question your dedication.” </p>
<p>“I chose to keep you because you are strong. You have a fight in you. A spark I did not think man was capable of bearing. You are something worthy of being picked from the scrap.” </p>
<p>His voice gets lower, turning into a growl. “Never, <b>ever</b> question me on my decisions. I told you that I decide when you die. Until I say so you will live. Anything less is treason, do you understand?” </p>
<p>You choke back a sob and stare with wide eyes. “I can’t. <i>I can’t.</i> I’m not strong enough, Megatron I-“ </p>
<p>“Do not tell me what I know. You are not the weakling everyone else on this planet is. You are mine. You are a decepticon. We survive and we fight and we Do. Not. Give. Up.” </p>
<p>He moves closer to you and you feel him very nearly whisper in your ear. “I am your leader. I will guide you. I will make you stronger. I know of pain, and I know you can bear it. The only voice you need to trust is mine. Nothing else matters.” </p>
<p>It isn’t an instant fix, but somehow he actually makes you feel better, if only a little at the moment. You raise your hands and put them on his face, your eyes wide and still trickling tears. </p>
<p>“I’m scared of living, Megatron. I’m not afraid of death but I’m fucking terrified of having to live and care and do everything I’m supposed to.” </p>
<p>He leans in and presses his forehead to yours, the act so comforting that you let out a soft gasp. “You live for me. I will make it easier. You only need to trust me and be brave.” </p>
<p>He doesn’t seem to understand how much that’s asking, but you want to. You really, really want to, even as much as you hurt still. But then Megatron breathes life into your form. In a swift, calculated move, he dips down and presses his lips to yours. You can tell he’s holding back and ever wary of his weight, but you put every ounce of yourself you have to give into that kiss. His metal is surprisingly soft and you enjoy every second of it, easily ignoring the burn in your lungs for air. </p>
<p>He parts from you and you gasp, nodding rapidly. “Yes- ok. I’m yours and I trust you.” </p>
<p>Having someone else to help you bear the weight on your mind is a priceless gift. Even for what he’s just said you know there’s no way to thank him. All you can do is pull him in and press kiss after kiss to his face and jaw, basking in the low rumbles and hums his body gives in response. Your hands drift down to his neck and, in more of an accident than anything, they slip in between his plates and tangle through his wires. </p>
<p>Megatron snarls and suddenly his teeth are in your neck, breaking the skin but not deep enough to cause any damage or have you bleeding out. You yelp and tug on them out of reflex, which has him roaring in your ear and pressing his body firmly against your own. You can only let out a whine and whimper as you pull your hand from his circuitry. He shivers and you think you realize why he had been so hesitant to let you touch them in the past. </p>
<p>“This is a… stimulating spot, isn’t it?” You whisper, running your fingers over the plate just above the opening. His tongue glides over the mark on your neck and your next breath is shaky. </p>
<p>“It is. I suggest you keep your hands off, lest you tempt me further.” He then presses a kiss to your jaw and nibbles at the skin with a care he shouldn’t be capable of. The affection makes you smile, and you wrap your arms around his shoulders as much as you can. </p>
<p>“Thank you, Megatron… for everything.” You whisper it into where you believe his audial receptors are. </p>
<p>He responds not in words, but by moving onto his side and pulling you with him. He tugs you forward into his arms and wraps them around you protectively. You’re more than happy to nuzzle into his neck and simply feel his body around you. His servo moves up to your hair and he pets it in a familiar fashion as before, but it’s even more pleasing when he’s smaller. </p>
<p>“I love when you do that,” you whisper to him as you feel every muscle in your body slowly relax. </p>
<p>“I know,” he whispers back, knowingly lulling you into a better sleep. A real, restful one.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. You Will Be Ok</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Woo, chapter 10!! </p><p>I did make the mistake of seeing some TF info however and I realize I’ve made a bunch of Oops(tm) in my writing and I now have to beat my perfectionism off with a bat- </p><p>ANYWAY long winded way of saying thank you to all those who notice my goofs and keep reading, y’all are superstars </p><p><strike>Speaking of which, if you wanna find me on twitter I’m under the same handle. I’m dying for more TF on my timeline</strike><br/>Edit: I’M A DINGUS!! I forgot I changed my @ a while ago omg my actual username is nebullux. My bad y’all lmfao </p><p>Oh and about this chap? Things gonna be happening soon 👀</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When you wake up warm and cozy, you fear Megatron has left you alone. You aren’t sure why this idea bothers you so much except that you just don’t want to be on your own right now. Though not in the company of just with anyone either. Your denial isn’t as prevalent as it once was and you're willing to admit to yourself that you want to spend the day with him. Even if he does nothing and you just <i>watch him</i> do nothing, that would be ok. </p><p>You don’t want to open your eyes just yet, so you feel around instead. Cold metal laid gently over your hip is a clear sign you haven’t been ditched. You do register that Megatron is back to his original size though, as that is definitely one of his talons. It’s a little disappointing because it makes cuddling up to him harder, but you know you’re still wrapped up in him either way. You slowly open your eyes and see your black bedding is tucked into his servo, and his fingers are placed over you as gently as a human would with their arm. You feel safe, and comforted. </p><p>Seeing as Megatron is still in recharge, you decide to try and get more sleep. You can immediately tell that won’t happen though when your thoughts are already out of control. You can’t stop thinking about what happened. What Megatron said, and how he made you feel. You also can’t stop the guilt and embarrassment that you feel now after having spilled your guts. Yes, you know you were deeply depressed and needed someone, but the regret still sits like a rock on your chest. You rub your fingers over it to ease the tension, but only find another form of comfort in his brand on your skin. You know what it really means now, and you follow the lines of the glyph he said meant ‘warrior.’ How can he still think that after your break down? </p><p>You look over to him and see the calm on his face. You recall how intense he had looked before, in the moment. He was mad, but it wasn’t really at you. He was so serious and determined to convince you of his beliefs. Your heart pumps a little harder at the thought, emotion welling up inside you. </p><p>No one has ever done that for you before. Not that well, not that passionate. If there’s one thing you’ve learned, it’s that Megatron really does care deeply. Cybertron may hold his heart, but whatever he decides to do, he goes at it with an untamable determination. He isn’t cold, he feels everything so much and you’re willing to admit you love that about him. It’s a refreshing quality to find and you hope you can return it in some respect. </p><p>With sleep apparently off the table, you decide to undertake the probably impossible task of actually removing yourself from Megatron’s hold, if only so you can get some breakfast. The last few days of fasting have come upon you with a vengeance, and right now all you want is to pig out. </p><p>It’s tricky, but you manage to slide up and wiggle out of the talons he’s holding you with. The metal probably won’t budge so you don’t try, and maneuver around them instead. You crawl and drag yourself from him and out into the cold, shivering the instant your bare knees hit the metal of his berth. You hop off and go to the little pile of grocery bags set neatly against the wall under the shelf your bed used to be on. You assume Knockout brought them at some point and make a mental note to thank him profusely the next time you see him. </p><p>The plastic makes noise as you squat and root through them, so you whisper-yell at them to be quiet, because that’s what you do. The first food item your hand finds is immediately unwrapped and in your mouth. It’s one of those granola bars with fake yogurt on the top. All part of a balanced breakfast, you think to yourself. Nevermind the fact you’ve also found your jar of nutella and are eating it out of the container with a plastic spoon. You’ve more than earned it at this point. </p><p>You wash it all down with a full bottle of water, then with your stomach momentarily happy, move onto the bag with your clothes in it. You glance back at Megatron to make sure he’s still in recharge. The lack of red light reassures you and you strip off your dirty clothes and set them aside. </p><p>“Do not put anything on.” The soft, low voice comes from beside you, and your head snaps to Megatron with wide eyes and a slack jaw. You quickly pull on the hoodie you’d plucked from the pile and shout out a muffled “perv!” </p><p>He chuckles, as you would expect, and sits up on the berth with his legs over the edge. Your embarrassment immediately subsides as you become just a little disappointed. You’d just wanted food and to change before going back for more cuddles. Serves you right for leaving you suppose. </p><p>Though with Megatron now watching, you do get a fun idea. You go back into your bag and pull out the lacey purple underwear you’d bought just for this such occasion. You stand and slip your legs through, then slowly pull them up, pushing the hoodie up just past your waist so the underwear can fit into place. Admittedly you also pull them up a little higher than you normally would. For reasons. </p><p>Said reason is the deep growl you hear from the berth, which makes you smirk. You like when the tables are turned and you can tease him for once, even in a small way. </p><p>“What’re you up to today?” You ask before he can say anything. </p><p>“I am required on earth.” </p><p>Well that sucks. Now you can’t even watch him work since he’ll be off ship. You hide your expression by messing with your hair, running your brush through it to untangle the rats nest it became over the last couple days. </p><p>“Sounds fun.” You don’t even manage to sound half as genuine as you were going for. </p><p>“I intend it to be. That is why you will accompany me.” </p><p>You push your hair aside and look up at him, then walk closer to his pedes. </p><p>“You mean that? I thought I was… y’know, grounded to the ship after last time.” </p><p>“Now I’m saying you will come with me.” </p><p>Well you’re not about to argue with that. You smile and follow him with your eye as he leans down, then prods at your hoodie. </p><p>“You will not need this where we’re going.” </p><p>After his last opinion on your clothing choices you give him a look. He just hums. </p><p>“It will be warm.” </p><p>“It better be,” you retort, but obediently go back to your bags and put on a new camisole and shorts. They were meant as pajamas, but you were buying for living in space, so they’ll have to do. </p><p>Megatron picks you up once you’re done and sets you on his shoulder, notably closer to his helm. You find your spot and watch as he walks… not to the door, but to the opposite end of the room. You frown but don’t say anything. He walks to the wall and a door that you didn’t know was a door slides open to reveal a secret room. </p><p>Except it’s one you’ve been in before, the one that you arrived in when you got back to the ship. Now that you think about it, it figures that Megatron would have his own private ground bridge. He’s the boss, he can do whatever he wants whenever, without anyone needing to know or ask questions. You can think of some sneaking-out-like-teenagers-esque activities to do with it as well. </p><p>He powers up the technology and punches in a coordinate, then pulls a lever for the swirling vortex to form in the middle of the room. He doesn’t hesitate as he walks through, though you move just a little closer to his neck while you do. </p><p>The first thing that hits you is the heat. Literally, it feels like you’ve walked face first into a brick wall of dry, stifling heat you’ve never known before. Megatron wasn’t kidding, it’s at least one hundred degrees out. Probably two hundred by your estimates. Which makes sense as you’re blinded by the sun and have to cover your eyes until they adjust to the unrelenting rays. Once you’re able to see, all there is for miles is dry dirt and sand. At first you aren’t sure what kind of desert it is, but then you see a lone cactus among the sparse shrubs and assume it’s somewhere in North America rather than the middle east. </p><p>“Where are we?” You ask as you get closer to Megatron, grateful right now for the cold and his broad shadow. </p><p>“Western Texas.” </p><p>For some reason hearing Megatron say the word ‘Texas’ has you smiling. It’s so… normal, so down to earth in a very literal sense. </p><p>“Alright. What’re we doing in Texas?” </p><p>“This is near the mine that was lost. Since then there have been more reports of autobots in the area. Their base could be nearby.”</p><p>You scoff instantly. “Megatron, are you telling me you came down to earth just to do… what, a little scouting mission? Some recon? You’re not even sure if they’re here.” </p><p>He turns and gives you a disgruntled look. “I can only tolerate so much time in close quarters with certain decepticons.” </p><p>You snicker at that. “So this is a little vacation then? I admit it’s nicer than spending all day in your room.” </p><p>You look out again to the land before you and take in its beauty. It isn’t flat, there are rolling hills in front of you peppered with small shrubs and even a flower here and there. In the distance you think you see mountains, also made up of million year old dirt. </p><p>“It’s kinda funny,” you start as Megatron begins walking toward a destination unknown to you. “I’ve spent my whole life so far on this planet, and I haven’t even seen more than a couple places in all that time. Like look at this.” You gesture out toward the dunes, perfectly lit in the late morning sun. “This place is so beautiful and I never would’ve seen it if you hadn’t brought me here. I probably wouldn’t even know it existed.” </p><p>He glances at you and your expression is caught halfway between being happy and frustrated. </p><p>“Why do you not travel?” He ventures. </p><p>“The biggest reason is that it costs money. It costs a ton just to go there and be set up in a decent hotel in an area that won’t kill you, plus all your meals while you’re there and anything else you need on the way. Not to mention the fact you can’t actually make money while you’re there, unless you have a certain kind of job.” </p><p>You huff, then glance at him and shake your head. “Sorry. I’m ranting. It’s just… sad. There’s so much beauty to see and only a few can afford to.” </p><p>He seems to think on this for a moment. “Then you are one of the few.” </p><p>You just stare. </p><p>“We have outposts all over the planet that you could visit, and scouts go out daily to find new sources of energon.” He’s quiet for a second, and then tilts his helm. “I am also capable of flight.” </p><p>“That isn’t something I could forget,” you laugh. “But I know you have better things to do. It’s ok.” </p><p>“There are ways to do what I must and also show you your planet. I am clever, remember?” </p><p>You giggle and rest your head against him. “Ok, smarty pants, if you can swing it then I’d be happy to.” </p><p>There’s a pause and you know by now Megatron is thinking. You literally hear a few gears twist and whir beyond his helm. </p><p>“Would it make you happy?” He asks in a tone that sounds far too soft. </p><p>“Yeah,” you nod a little and think you know what he’s getting at. “Look Megatron, I’m really sorry about yesterday. I didn’t mean to dump all of that on you-“</p><p>“Stop,” he commands before you can go on. “You will not keep anything from me. I expect you to tell me everything.”</p><p>You can’t even speak for a moment because that was really sweet, even if he wants to frame it as him being in control of your life. You wonder if he knows what he’s really doing, or at least what it sounds like to you.</p><p>“Ok. I will then, but just remember you told me to when it gets annoying.” You tease, but he doesn’t respond. </p><p>He continues walking for what you guess to be about an hour, based on how sticky you are from sweat and how his metal has begun to grow hot under the sun. You can only touch the spots in the shade, and even they’ve grown warm. </p><p>Then he stops and tilts his helm. “I will overheat if I continue searching in this form.” He states, then glances at you. “Brace yourself.”</p><p>You do not have enough time or mental clarity to do that, so instead you’re flung around like a doll, screaming out of surprise, because Megatron is transforming. Not under you, but with you, and you’re tossed around his insides until you end up in a cockpit. You’re frozen for an instant, then grip onto the seat as he flies off at incredible speeds. You should be traumatized but you’re really just exhilarated and let out a crazy laugh. </p><p>“Oh my god. We’re flying. I’m flying. Really fast.” </p><p>The landscape around you tears past the window as you stare out and even if you couldn’t physically feel the speed, you can see it. The far off mountains grow closer until you’re even past them, set off into a whole new terrain. At first he stays fairly close to the ground, but then your altitude starts to climb. You see everything become small until you can’t make out small features anymore and everything seems like a brown dirt mess. </p><p>There are no clouds out, but you know you would be among them if there were. You can see the sky so clearly around you that you feel like you’re really in it, dipped into the sea of blue that has always been so beyond your reach. You let out another giddy laugh. </p><p>“Does this please you?” Megatron asks and his voice is all around you. You shiver and then instantly grin. </p><p>“Fuck yes. This is the coolest thing I’ve ever done. I mean the standard was pretty low but still.” </p><p>You look down and see that he really does perfectly mimic whatever kind of jet he’s supposed to be copying. It has all the dials, knobs, measurements and arrows you guess would be in the manmade version. None of them mean anything to you though, you wouldn’t even know how to deal with the handle in front of you, and you have a whole new respect for anyone who’s capable of actually flying one. </p><p>Then you notice on the glass covering the largest dial, there’s something carved into it. You lean forward and trace the image with your fingers, and notice it’s a pointy metal face that you’re sure you’ve seen before. </p><p>“Hey Megatron? What is this?” </p><p>“The symbol of the decepticons.” </p><p>It comes to you then. “Oh ok, yeah, I saw this on Knockout’s steering wheel when we were driving. Totally forgot until now.” </p><p>“Every decepticon bears the image.” </p><p>You nod and sit back. “Except me.” </p><p>“You are marked in a different way. Is that not enough?” </p><p>“I dunno. Kinda feels like I’m being left out of the club here. Hey, maybe I could get a tattoo of it. It’d freak the hell outta some autobots I bet.” </p><p>The jet hums and you think it would’ve been a chuckle if he were in his other form. “If you wish.” </p><p>You grin, ready to ramble about where to get it and how big, before a seatbelt suddenly fastens itself tightly around your torso. You don’t have time to question it before Megatron is spinning and doing a nosedive toward the ground. Your stomach immediately starts doing flips and you have to close your eyes to avoid making an embarrassing mess inside Megatron he’d surely never forgive you for. </p><p>You regret your consideration when you’re <i>ejected</i> from him and sent free falling toward the ground at assured-death speeds. You can’t even scream because the wind tears the breath from your lungs and you’re just left to accept he’s thrown you to your death. It was nice while it lasted. </p><p>You don’t know how close you got to the ground on your own, but before you can become a sizzling pancake on the ground, Megatron grabs you in his servo and holds you to his chassis. He lands on his pedes and then falls to his knees, absorbing the brunt of the impact. You’re dizzy, but it’s a fine consolation prize for avoiding your insides becoming jelly. </p><p>Megatron stands and pulls his servo away from his chassis to look at you sprawled in his palm panting. </p><p>“I’m good,” you say breathlessly after he doesn’t ask. “Probably a little traumatized but I’ll just add it to the pile of fun things to happen while I’ve been with you.” </p><p>He stares for another moment, then looks up into the distance. “There are autobots here. You will return to the ship.” </p><p>You sit up and grab his finger. “You’re not going to take them on by yourself, are you?” The worry in your voice would be impossible to hold back even if you had tried. </p><p>His optics set on you. “You yourself said I am a skilled warrior. Do you not believe I could?” </p><p>“Probably, but I don’t want you to get hurt either,” you say without a second of hesitation. Megatron just smirks. </p><p>Then a ground bridge opens and you gasp, looking between his fingers to see the swirling colors and several decepticons spill through. You hadn’t heard him call for one, but it probably happened while you were spiraling towards the ground at a hundred miles an hour. He walks over and you’re put back with Lugnut, who starts to bring you back toward the ship. </p><p>All you can do is shout “be careful!” over your shoulder before they all disappear from sight, and you’re back on the cold, empty ship. Alone too, since Lugnut goes back out into the desert once you’re safely back in the transport room. </p><p>This is the exact opposite of how you wanted this day to go.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Apparently Things Can Get Worse</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Didn’t really expect this chapter to go the way it did but I couldn’t resist X) </p>
<p>Also I was a doof and messed up in my last note, my twitter handle is nebullux if you guys want to actually find me fjakfjd my bad </p>
<p>Anyway enjoy some... mixed emotions from this chap 😇😈</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Being off planet while the only person you care about goes into battle is upsetting in a way you’ve never experienced before. You’re used to worrying about other people’s opinions, but not about their wellbeing. Definitely not about them being mortally wounded. Yet all you can do is sit in the transport room of the ship and wait for contact. You feel stuck and useless. </p>
<p>Common sense still pokes its head in though, and you’re able to reason you could do exactly jack and shit if you were there. In fact you’d probably get stepped on or shot within the first thirty seconds. What good would that be? But what makes you even more guilty is you don’t just want to help, you want to <i>watch.</i> You’ve never considered yourself a violent person, but you’re itching to see Megatron in real battle. You want to see him in his element, as leader and gladiator and rebel with a cause, just as much as you want to see him the opposite in his soft moments. </p>
<p>All you can do is hope for victory without too much damage on either side. Even though you’re with Megatron, and actually sympathize with his cause, you know the autobots are kind and well intentioned themselves. He sees no way past them so he intends to plow through, but you aren’t naive enough to believe the one side of the story you’ve heard. Any invading alien that takes extra effort to protect your fragile little species on their new home can’t be all bad. Just as Megatron isn’t. </p>
<p>You aren’t kept waiting too long, which you know could either be a good sign or a very bad one. Nobody actually says anything to you but the room rapidly fills with bodies. First a decepticon unknown to you comes in and starts punching things into the panel and you move up to watch, expecting the vortex to open any second, but then Knockout comes in with several helpers. It includes Breakdown and another few you haven’t met. You have a bad feeling about this. They know something you don’t. You see it in their shared glances and the way they can’t stand still. </p>
<p>The ground bridge opens with a dramatic flourish and everyone rushes forward. You slink back toward the edge of the room, knowing not a single one of them could spare a thought on not squishing you. At first only pieces of mechs come through. One is cut in two, carried by a larger ‘con who has lost an arm. Another limps through, its eye dangling from its head and its leg a mangled and bloody mess. </p>
<p>Then your heart is pierced with a hot dagger when you see Megatron carried in by none other than Lugnut, who appears to be injured everywhere but only superficially. You know by the look on his face he feels personally responsible for what he allowed to happen. His master was injured on his watch, and you genuinely believe that hurt him more than any physical wound could. </p>
<p>Megatron takes priority, so the other injured mechs step to the side and allow Knockout and his little team to take Megatron from Lugnut, needing him in the lab to assess his wounds properly. You can’t make out anything through the energon all over his abdomen, but you see blue dripping from a small section of his shoulder which has been shot away. The damage is severe, you could tell with your eyes closed just from the tension in the room, but you have to watch him be carted out all the same. </p>
<p>And then, of course, Starscream comes in. He looks far, far too peppy, infused with confidence now that Megatron is unconscious. </p>
<p>“All of you, get out!” He barks, though you can tell he’s trying to be more commanding than he’s capable of. “You have jobs to do and your own berths to make a mess on! Go, now!” </p>
<p>You sneer and stay where you are, waiting until all the others are gone before you leave. Naturally, Starscream manages to notice you, small as you are. He’s exactly the last person, human or cybertronian, you want to see right now. This doesn’t stop his sinister grin, or him walking toward you. You don’t step back. </p>
<p>“There’s the little roach. I heard you’d made it to a ground bridge. And after all I had to go through to leave you on that ugly rock. I was doing you a kindness and you came running back! You must have a death wish after all.” </p>
<p>It takes a full thirty seconds for your mind to properly register what he’s just said. Your countenance goes from confusion to anger at the flip of a switch the instant you realize what this means. Your hands are clenched at your sides and you’re ready to start throwing punches even if you’ll just break your knuckles. That night, that horrible night that had you crawling back and convincing Megatron you weren’t a traitor, <i>it was all Starscream.</i> He left you behind. You knew he had it out for you, but this seems to include sabotaging you every chance he gets. </p>
<p>“Oh don’t be so upset! We’ll get to finish what we started on the bridge. It’s just a matter of time now. <i>Lord Megatron</i>” he spits his name with condescension compiled over eons, “won’t survive a cycle. I’m in charge now, and I have your whole death planned out. You won’t like it one bit.” </p>
<p>Despite his thinly veiled threats, you’re just angry. “Listen here you tin can motherfucker, Megatron is going to wake up, and when he does? I’ll make sure he rips your helm off. You’ve played your hand too soon, bitch.” </p>
<p>You love that your petty insults make his face scrunch up and you savor the look, but he tries to play it off. “You don’t know anything. No matter what happens, I’m killing you. Better say your goodbyes.” </p>
<p>With a huff he turns around and stomps out of the room. You take a moment to steady your breaths before you sprint from the room and toward the medical lab. It takes several minutes, and you almost slip on the spilled energon leading the way more than once, but you don’t stop until you’re there and outside the door. </p>
<p>Another door you can’t open, but that isn’t going to stop you. You pound on it with both fists and yell for Knockout to open up. Your hands hurt by the time it opens, and Breakdown looks at you. You try to rush in but he stops you with a pede. Just as you open your mouth to make your argument for why you should be let in, he leans down and picks you up. He places you on his shoulder where you can see everything, and you really wish you couldn’t. </p>
<p>You gasp and then grimace, the sight even worse once they’ve cleaned most of the energon away. There are several holes in Megatron’s chassis, all too close to his spark. You don’t understand any of what Knockout is doing and you look away. As with any surgery, it always seems like they’re doing more damage at first. You take a deep breath and look to Breakdown. </p>
<p>“Can you tell me what’s going on?” </p>
<p>He turns his helm a little and watches you, optics flicking between the table and yourself. “Pretty much what you can see. It’s bad. Knockout doesn’t know how long he’ll be out, or if he’ll wake up, but he’s a tough son of a bitch.” He blinks and frowns in your direction. “Don’t tell him I said that.” </p>
<p>You manage a small smile and nod. “He did tell me he’d died more than once before. You guys have some way to resurrect, don’t you?”  </p>
<p>He rubs his chin with a servo. “We did, in the past. But right now… Prime’s got the only thing that could bring him back, so that’s not gonna happen.” </p>
<p>Your body deflates a little more and you sigh. “So just the old fashioned waiting game then?”</p>
<p>“Yep.” </p>
<p>“That’s shitty.” </p>
<p>“Yep.” </p>
<p>A clunk draws your attention to the table again, and you see Knockout pull something out of one of the holes. It’s not a bullet, but looks to be a melted piece of metal. You take a shaky breath and focus on something else. </p>
<p>“Breakdown, is Starscream really going to be in charge?” </p>
<p>He shifts his weight to his other pede. “He’s second in command, so yeah. Until Megatron wakes up.” </p>
<p>“But <i>why?</i> He’s a backstabbing bastard.” </p>
<p>Breakdown gives you a sympathetic look. “That’s exactly why. This team isn’t made up of good guys in case you haven’t noticed. The more fucked up shit you do, the better spot you get on the team. That plus the usual loyalty and dedication spiel, but that comes second.” </p>
<p>You didn’t know your heart could sink any further, but now you’re pretty sure it’s entering earth’s atmosphere. “But would people really follow him? He’s so incompetent.” </p>
<p>“Eh… sort of. He’s got his buddies among us, but most of us would still prefer Megatron. Even if he is dead, we’ll wait around for the day we can bring him back.” </p>
<p>Things aren’t looking too good for you. Starscream doesn’t even have to wait until Megatron is dead. He’s just waiting until he’s sure he can explain how he ‘accidentally’ stepped on you in the hallway to Megatron and be spared. Every minute he grows more confident in his own abilities and in the fact he could get away with it. Even if Megatron followed up on your threat and tore his head off, it would be too late. You’d already be dead. </p>
<p>You need him to wake up, for everyone’s sake. </p>
<p>____________________________________________</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Breakdown is kind enough to keep you company while you both wait for the repairs to be done. He hands Knockout something every few minutes, but otherwise you’re both just left to watch. It isn’t a pretty sight but you insist on staying. Once Knockout has done all he can, Megatron is covered up to his neck in a thin silver sheet that looks and functions like an emergency blanket, meant to keep heat in and everything else out. Finally he addresses you. </p>
<p>“I don’t know if he’s going to wake up. I did everything I could but it’s tricky so close to the spark. If we’re really, really lucky we’ll even have him regenerate, but I’m not counting on it. Be prepared for anything, ok?” </p>
<p>“If he doesn’t wake up soon, Starscream is going to kill me.” You explain, then glare at him. “Why didn’t you tell me he was the reason I couldn’t go through the ground bridge? I’m not blaming you. I know there were probably threats and whatever, but why didn’t you tell me once I got back?” </p>
<p>He lets out a heavy sigh. “I didn’t have time, ok? I’ve been busy with my real job. I knew he wouldn’t do anything when I found out you had Lughead as your guard dog. But let’s just… give Megatron some time before we start assuming the worst.” </p>
<p>That’s easy for him to say, but you just shake your head and then look at Breakdown. “Can you put me on the table, please? I’m just… gonna stay here I think.” </p>
<p>He doesn’t question your request and gingerly sets you down beside Megatron’s helm. You go up and put your hand on his cheek, ignoring the stares you get from everyone in the room. Presumably uncomfortable, they all leave, taking Knockout’s equipment with them so they can treat the other injured ‘cons in a different, unoccupied lab. You sink down and sit beside Megatron, leaning your body against his helm near his audial sensors. He’s powered down for the moment, you know he is, but all your human instincts override that. </p>
<p>“You probably can’t hear me, but I want you to know I’m here. I won’t leave you. And I really, really hope you wake up. Starscream is being a bitch like usual and we need you. I need you. That’s probably selfish, isn’t it? You’re unconscious and I’m asking you to get up so you can protect me.” You scoff and bury your face into him. “I don’t know what to say. I don’t know if it’ll even help… the talking. But what else can I do?” </p>
<p>You really try to think of something else to say. Something reassuring or even witty, but nothing comes to mind. You sit there for a long while, imagining over and over that he’s woken just to say something teasing to you. You huff at yourself, how pathetic it sounds even in your head, and get up. You walk to his good shoulder and climb up as carefully as you can, making your way onto his chassis. The hum has died down so much you would believe them if they said he was dead. The thought sends a chill down your spine and you let yourself relax to lay in the center of his chassis. You press your ear to it and close your eyes. </p>
<p>There’s still music. His spark still plays for you, but it’s painfully soft, with more of a warble to its tone. If it were a heart, it would be weak. But it’s still there. He isn’t dead, just healing. You sigh and run your hands over his still-warm metal and think how quickly things can change in this lifestyle. How could he have ended up so damaged in the first place? It’s <i>Megatron,</i> imposing and strong beyond your comprehension. Not to mention tactical. He must have thought they could win or else he wouldn’t have gone.</p>
<p>“So what happened?” You ask, lifting your head so you can look at his face. It isn’t as calm as when he goes into recharge. There’s a sort of frozen rage still on his features. </p>
<p>Now you want to punch common sense in the throat because maybe if you’d gone you <i>could</i> have done something, if only to strap yourself to his chassis and discourage the autobots from shooting at him. You swear next time you won’t stand by. If you’re going to be one of them, you’re going to help. </p>
<p>“I won’t stay behind again. Do you hear me, asshole?” </p>
<p>“Lover’s quarrel?” Knockout asks from the door and you sit up to look at him. If it were anyone else you’d throw them a glare, but not him. </p>
<p>“What’re you doing back? I thought there were others you were fixing?” </p>
<p>“I’m done. There wasn’t a whole lot I could do for them besides stop the bleeding and recommend some new attachments.” He comes over and looks at Megatron, frowning as he does. You know he didn’t expect him to be awake, but it would’ve been nice, and you can’t help but silently agree. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry for not giving you a heads up,” he starts, sounding frustrated or… even a little reluctant. You interrupt. </p>
<p>“You don’t have to apologize. I’m just pissed off because Starscream threatened me for like, the third time and I don’t trust him to be in command for five minutes. And I just can’t wrap my head around why Megatron keeps him around.”</p>
<p>Knockout sits on a nearby stool and watches you. “It’s complicated. Honestly if you ask me, I’d say Starscream wants to impress Megatron just as much as overthrow him, and I think Megs knows it. Even when he does stuff to piss him off he’s just trying to show how clever he is. I mean don’t get me wrong, any chance to put himself in the seat of power and he’ll take it, but as long as he’s still doing what he’s told and Megatron can keep him in line… there aren’t exactly a lot of spare decepticons lying around.” </p>
<p>You understand. You hate that you do, but you keep forgetting that it’s war. Maybe Megatron is even keeping him close just to keep an eye on him, you think. <i>Friends close and enemies closer</i> and all. You let out something between a huff and a sigh as you turn your gaze to Megatron. </p>
<p>“Guess I can’t argue with that. I don’t even care if he kills me, I just don’t want to give him the satisfaction, y’know? I wanna see his face when Megatron wakes up and he gets to stomp Starscream down a few pegs again.” You actually manage to smirk, thinking it would be a perfect form of physical therapy for the waking warlord. Knockout chuckles, and then silence falls. </p>
<p>“Hey, would you take me down to earth?” you ask out of the blue, allowing impulse to take over. </p>
<p>“After last time…?” He looks hesitant, for good reason. </p>
<p>“Starscream will be too busy polishing his aft for everyone to kiss. It won’t be that long.” </p>
<p>“Why? What do you need?” </p>
<p>“I wanna get a tattoo.” </p>
<p>____________________________________________</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You’re basically a sorceress at this point. The idea is stupid, beyond stupid and into mentally insane, but you’ve been at the ‘fuck it’ point for a while now so no use in stopping. But what makes you magic is the fact you talked Knockout into doing it too. As it turns out, he really, desperately needed a break, and watching you go through something so agonizing and stupid would be the perfect catharsis. </p>
<p>You find a decent tattoo parlor on the outskirts of L.A. It’s not a top tier, could-have-its-own-show level parlor, but you just need one that allows walk-ins. The design you want is relatively simple, as long as they can do a straight line properly. 

When you arrive, Knockout shows you that they can actually shrink down their form <i>and</i> put a kind of holoform around it to look human. You doubt this at first because his holoform is pretty sketchy from what you’ve seen, but he assures you a dozen times it’ll be perfect. Together you go in. </p>
<p>“Hey, I’m Brittany, what can I do for you?” The woman behind the front counter asks when you enter. You’re instantly jealous of just how flawless her dark brown skin is, and how it contrasts her emerald eyes. Plus she’s wearing a tanktop, and you can see the black tattooed sleeves she has on either arm. You can’t quite tell what they’re of, but it seems to be one coherent story. You glance to Knockout who eyes her with even more interest than you did. </p>
<p>“Yeah, uh,” you start, pushing your hair from your face and walking toward her, “It says online you guys do walk-ins? Is that true?” </p>
<p>“Yep! Been a slow day too.” </p>
<p>“Great! I kinda have a big design request though and I need all of it done by today…” </p>
<p>Her eyes widen a little but she gives you a professionally reassuring smile. “Why don’t you come back and we’ll talk about it? Is your man gonna stay?” She looks from you to Knockout and you glance back at him, unable to stop a laugh. </p>
<p>“Oh no he’s not- we aren’t a couple.” Knockout raises a brow at you, smirking a little as he watches you squirm and your face go red. “He’s my… brother. We’re getting like, family tattoos basically.” </p>
<p>You’re so very glad for the artist’s presence because you know Knockout would be roasting you alive for everything you’ve just said.  </p>
<p>“That’s cool.” Brittany says in a way you almost want to believe her, even though it’s probably very not cool. She leads you past the counter and into a little room with her station. It has the typical setup; chair, ink, machines, and a small desk for sketching. </p>
<p>“So you guys have a design in mind then?” She asks as she takes a seat at her desk. </p>
<p>“Yeah, here.” You point to Knockout’s arm and he turns, showing off the decepticon symbol taking up his bicep. Brittany reaches out to touch it and you hold your breath, but amazingly she doesn’t seem to find anything wrong. She touches his arm and turns it as if he were actually human. Knockout just winks at you like he can read your thoughts and is fully aware you doubted him. You rub your forehead with your middle finger and watch him bite back a grin. </p>
<p>“Alright, I can do the same thing on you or tweak it, whatever you want.” Brittany states once she’s looked him over. </p>
<p>“No, I want it identical. But I want it on my back.” You’d thought about it on the way over and made up your mind already. </p>
<p>“Have you ever gotten a tattoo before? Cause that’s gonna hurt like a bitch with all the solid color.” She gives you a wary glance before going to sketch on Knockout’s arm. </p>
<p>“No, but I’m sure. Like zero doubts sure.” </p>
<p>“Ok, you’re the boss.” </p>
<p>You wait as Brittany sketches out the symbol, and you look around at her framed art on the walls of the room. She’s good at what she does, specializing in grayscale work and detailed designs. She’s more than good enough for what you need and you’re officially excited. </p>
<p>“How’s this?” She asks and shows you an identical drawing to the one on Knockout’s arm. You grin. </p>
<p>“Perfect.” </p>
<p>You lift up the back of your shirt and she places it between your shoulder blades. You look at it in a mirror behind you and frown a little. </p>
<p>“Can it be bigger?” </p>
<p>“Is that what you want? It’ll cost more and take longer.” </p>
<p>“I don’t care. I want it as big as we can go.” </p>
<p>She’s stopped arguing with you, so she goes back and, through art tricks you aren’t privy to, manages to come back out and sketch the symbol again. You look in the mirror a second time and see the tip of the helm crawls up until it’s almost at your neck. The other two spikes on either side just about reach your shoulders, and the bottom reaches halfway down your back. You shoot Knockout a giddy smile. </p>
<p>“Overkill much?” He scoffs, but you can see him smiling too. </p>
<p>“Nothing is too extravagant for <i>daddy,</i>” you hold back your cackle and Knockout just covers his face and shakes his head. Brittany doesn’t even give you a look. She’s probably encountered a lot worse than you two. </p>
<p>“Well once we get the payment out of the way I can start. I’ll double check once I’m at the front but it’ll probably end up around five or six hundred bucks.” </p>
<p>“Doesn’t matter.” You say as you follow her up to the front and pay from your savings. Your card is gonna fry one of these days. You’re honestly surprised it hasn’t busted already. Or, y’know, run out of funds, because you’re definitely not keeping track and aren’t about to. </p>
<p>With that done you go back and the process starts. Knockout actually stays to watch, or you think he does. You wouldn’t be surprised if he only stayed to flirt with Brittany, which he does. </p>
<p>After all the pain you’ve been through, the tattoo process is little more than uncomfortable. You did have to come up with a story about being attacked by a bird at the zoo in order to explain your stitches still evident on your shoulders though. Knockout really enjoyed that one. </p>
<p>You notice the day pass you by and all you can think of is Megatron. You try to imagine that he’ll at least be pleased with your tattoo, but even that brings you little comfort. You still refuse to even consider that he won’t wake up because you know you really won’t be ok if you do. He will. He has to. </p>
<p>“Any news on, uh, dad?” You ask him with a little look. He barely raises a brow this time and shakes his head. </p>
<p>“Should I ask?” Brittany says softly from behind you. </p>
<p>“He’s… in the hospital. Had an accident and hasn’t woken up yet.” You explain before Knockout has a chance to say anything to embarrass you. </p>
<p>“Oh, sorry to hear that, hon’.” Once again her tone is sweet as honey and so genuine you can’t stand it. You let out a small sigh. </p>
<p>“Yeah. Thanks.” </p>
<p>“Such a downer,” Knockout grumbles. You try not to laugh for the sake of your tattoo not being crooked. </p>
<p>“Hey, Britt, did you know Knock here is a medic? In the army and everything.” </p>
<p>She pauses to look at him. “No shit, really?” </p>
<p>“Uh, yeah. Was. Used to be, long time ago.” Knockout gives you a look because now he’s going to have to BS his way through a bunch of human stuff. You just smirk and settle down again. </p>
<p>Hours later and you’re done. The sun is almost setting and you get to see your tattoo in the mirror and you could cry because it looks so good and just feels right. You imagine briefly the situation in which you’ll get to show Megatron and distinctly visualize yourself stripping for him. Nope, you need to stop that right now. You look at Knockout and give him a tired smile instead. </p>
<p>“Well? What do you think?” </p>
<p>He tilts his head and makes you wait, but you can tell he’s pleased in his own way. “It’s good. Kinda surprised you didn’t get it on your ass though.” </p>
<p>You burst into laughter. “Shit! That would’ve been so much better!” </p>
<p>His knowing smirk is natural even on his human facade. “That’s exactly why I waited until now to say anything. You would’ve done it and it would’ve been my fault.” Your laughter is getting to him and he lets out a little chuckle of his own. </p>
<p>Brittany looks between you two and smiles. “Glad you guys like it.” </p>
<p>“I love it.” You say as you come back over to the table and she puts on your ointment and some plastic wrap to keep it all clean. The way Knockout seems so utterly confused by this process only heightens your joy. With another thanks to your artist, and her giving Knockout her number, you two are on your way. </p>
<p>Sitting back in the seat is a little painful, but luckily Knockout back to car form is as comfortable as you could hope for. He drives you on, back toward the underground car garage that had been designated as your ground bridge spot. You get to admire L.A. in the beautiful sunset as you drive, and your mood is far better than you know it would’ve been had you stayed on the ship. It has you feeling a little guilty you left Megatron’s side, but reason that he wouldn’t mind. </p>
<p>“Knockout, what’s that like… Cybertronian god you guys refer to sometimes?” you ask, still staring out the window. </p>
<p>“God? Oh, Primus.” </p>
<p>“Do you… I only have human religion to go off of here, so do you guys… pray to Primus for stuff?” </p>
<p>You hate that he catches where your mind is going, and you know it as soon as you see the look his holoform gives you out of the corner of your eye. </p>
<p>“Some might, I guess, but it’s not common. Primus isn’t really… omnipotent. The stories kinda vary but I think he’s supposed to be asleep right now anyway. Or in another realm. I don’t know, I never really cared.” </p>
<p>You nod and sink a little. Well, no mech god is coming to your aid anytime soon then. You arrive at the garage a short while later, and your anxiety spikes. </p>
<p>“You told Breakdown to be careful, right?” You ask nervously. Knockout actually snorts. </p>
<p>“This isn’t the first time we’ve done this. Sneaking out, I mean. All I had to do was tell him we didn’t want anybody finding out and he knows the deal.” </p>
<p>You want to trust them, but with Starscream in charge, there’s an even bigger chance of him interfering than there was before. </p>
<p>“Breakdown, we’re at the location. Whenever you’re ready.” Knockout says as he comes to a stop. The garage is older and without any security to catch you on camera, though his fancy sports car does look out of place. Minutes tick by and your nerves are steadily rising. You actually resort to chewing at your nails, a habit you’d kicked more than a year ago. </p>
<p>“Relax. He’s trying to sneak around, it’s gonna take him a second to get there.” </p>
<p>You take a deep breath, then nod. The bridge opens before you so suddenly you gasp and stare at it’s greenish glow. Knockout wastes no time in driving through, his engine revving hard as he goes from zero to sixty in what must be a fraction of a second. You’d get a concussion if your head wasn’t already against the headrest. </p>
<p>He squeals to a stop after arriving back on the ship, where he allows you to get out of the car before he transforms and greets Breakdown. They both look far too pleased with themselves for facilitating a flawless escapade. </p>
<p>“Great job, boys.” You pipe up, a hand on your hip. “Can’t believe I ever doubted you.” </p>
<p>“Neither can I.” Breakdown says with a warm rumble to his voice. </p>
<p>“One of you wanna take me back to the med bay then? Since you’re so skilled at transport.” You smirk and they both give you a look. </p>
<p>“That’s just insulting,” Knockout grumbles and Breakdown agrees. You’re just happy to have them. You know there’s at least a couple decepticons on the ship who are willing to help you out. </p>
<p>Knockout volunteers stating he has to do a round of checkups anyway, and you head back. Your heart swells with every step and you hope beyond hope that he’ll be awake when you arrive. You need him to be awake because your hope is barely hanging on right now and you don’t know if it can survive another day without him. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Numb</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning: this gets dark! As I’m sure most of you guessed, this chapter contains torture! </p><p>Oof, sorry this one is kinda late guys. I took some time thinking about where I wanted to take this, and also I got two cats I’m fostering for a friend just last night! Right now they’re taking a lot of my attention but they’re so lovely. </p><p>I might have to slow down updates for the next little bit though. Thank you to everyone who’s reading and being patient with me! I love y’all.</p><p>Also I literally didn’t proof read this at all LMAO</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He isn’t awake. Megatron is just as unconscious as when you left, lying in the same horribly still position. Your heart sinks all over again as whatever bit of hope you’d clung onto slips between your fingers, icey dread replacing it. </p><p>Knockout isn’t as disappointed. He sets you beside Megatron’s helm again and lifts the sheet to check on the wounds. Everything looks the same to you, and by Knockout’s expression, it is. </p><p>“He’s not getting better,” you state, no question in your tone. </p><p>“It’s been less than a day. He needs time.” He tries to reassure you, but it doesn’t help. You have a bad feeling about the whole situation and can’t help resignation from setting in. Knockout must see it written all over your face, because he reaches out a servo and gently taps your head with his finger. </p><p>“I didn’t expect you to give up that fast, little mouse. Don’t you have any confidence in him?” </p><p>You do, but this is out of his hands. This is fate’s deck of cards, and in the past they’ve done nothing but screw you over. Now won’t be any different. You don’t answer his question, and simply crawl onto Megatron again, resuming your position on his chassis in a little warm crevice. Knockout sighs and pulls the space blanket back over both of you and leaves you to sulk. </p><p>You let Megatron’s spark lull you into a calm, restful state. You aren’t asleep, which is why you hear when the door opens again. You wonder if Knockout brought you something to eat, though doubt you could get past your upset stomach long enough to actually quell your hunger. The blanket is wrenched away and you look up just in time to see Shockwave. It takes less than a second for him to tear you from Megatron’s chassis and clench you in his servo. Even in Megatron’s hold when you were first taken away from earth, you’d never felt so thoroughly trapped. He holds you like a caught fly; tight enough to restrict any movement, but not break your little body. </p><p>After a few minutes you hear a door open, and then see light as you’re dropped on a table. You have a brief second to look around and see that this room is largely similar to the medical bay you were just in, but infinitely creepier. There are diagrams all over the walls of dissected cybertronians, and then a few sketches of what you think is supposed to be human anatomy, though they look more like guesses than doctor’s pictures you’ve seen. </p><p>It strikes you then that this is Shockwave’s lab, and you’re about to be torn apart for educational purposes. This is confirmed as you seem… stuck to the table. Like your body is far too heavy for you to move even a finger. Everything is harder to do, breathing, turning, even blinking. You’re immediately exhausted and lay on your back with your arms to your sides; the vulnerable patient. </p><p>Yet you feel nothing. You don’t feel panic, or worry, or even fear. They’re somewhere at the base of your mind, you know you <i>should</i> feel them, but an invisible barrier keeps you from feeling them. You make no effort to correct this. You just stare up at the ceiling and think of how you’ll be splayed open like a butterfly on this ‘scientist’s’ wall soon enough. </p><p>Shockwave has been moving around you, gathering instruments you imagine. He moves into your vision every now and then just to set something on the table, then move out of sight again. Then the door opens again, and you’re unable to see who it is until they make themselves known. </p><p>Starscream. Figures he’d be behind this. </p><p>“Well, roach, isn’t this a perfect way for you to die.” There’s no question in his voice. He’s just stroking his own ego at this point, and you stare blankly at him as he comes to stand at your left. “You’ll finally serve a purpose. Even Megatron couldn’t argue with that. This was his plan originally anyway.” </p><p>It was. You know this is what he intended for you to begin with, before he decided you would be a better plaything for him than Shockwave. Under normal circumstances you might be pleased with the fact you were too good for this, but considering it’s happening anyway, the measly bit of satisfaction can’t penetrate your numbness. You just stare. Staracream frowns. </p><p>“What did you do to it?” He asks, looking up to Shockwave who pops into the corner of your vision. </p><p>“Nothing.” </p><p>“Then do <i>something.</i> I’m sick of the look on their face. Make it hurt.” He looks down at you with sick excitement in his optics. You let your gaze drift away back toward the ceiling, not focused on either Starscream on your left or Shockwave on your right. </p><p>You think of the stars, and of Megatron. It was nice, feeling hope for a while. You actually thought you had a future worth living for for a while there. That was a gift Megatron gave you and you wish you could thank him for it one last time. He made you feel things you never thought capable of. For the first time you knew desire. You knew the promise of kinship, however warped. You even knew how it felt to be protected, and comforted. You knew what it was not to be alone for once. </p><p>How does the saying go? It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Perhaps you didn’t love Megatron, but you know you could have, and you did love how he made you feel. It was nice while it lasted. </p><p>You think of this as a small blade begins to slice your right forearm from elbow to wrist. It’s almost poetic, since you know you’ve tried to kill yourself this way once before. The scars on your wrists are small but you could feel them if you touched the right spot. Shockwave cuts just above your old scars and it’s then that you finally cry out, your face twisting in pain. The cuts aren’t deep but they sting and it certainly doesn’t feel nice. </p><p>Then he starts to pull your skin away from your flesh, cutting it away until it can fold over and expose your muscle, vein, and tendons beneath. </p><p>You scream. The pain washes over you like white lava, scorching every one of your nerves until the only thing your brain can comprehend is pain beyond your wildest imagination. You want to thrash but you can’t move and only end up shaking. </p><p>Why haven’t you bled out yet? </p><p>You can barely think but <i>god</i> you want the end to come. You want your blood to run off the table and let your heart stop and let you find <i>peace.</i> </p><p>Then you feel something pierce your chest. It’s barely a pinch and almost lost in the cacophony of signals firing in your brain. </p><p>“What was that? You’re not killing it already?” Starscream asks. </p><p>“Adrenaline. It will keep it awake.” </p><p>Starscream laughs and you let out another bloodcurdling scream as you feel something pull away from your bone. What it is you don’t know but it doesn’t want to come away and the pain is unimaginable. The adrenaline makes your heart pump harder and faster and you feel <i>everything.</i> You start hyperventilating because your lungs are trying to keep up with the demand but it’s all just too much. </p><p>They won’t do anything to calm you, or even try too hard to keep you alive. You hope at least, because you need this to end. </p><p>You focus your mind on something else, anything that isn’t the pain as Shockwave moves to your other side and repeats the procedure. You force your eyes closed so hard you see stars, and you focus on them instead. You think of when you were with Megatron, looking at the different worlds you didn’t even know existed until he showed them to you. His face as he spoke and the way his optics turned to you. How you wanted to kiss him then but pretended otherwise. </p><p>You think of when you did kiss, that night that feels like it was an age ago. How good he’d felt pressed against you, and how warm his body felt in the creases you pressed your fingertips into. You wish now you’d gone further, because you’ll never get the chance again. </p><p>You sob. One single sob that isn’t out of physical pain, but overwhelming loss at what could have been. Shockwave prods at the bone and you screech like a creature from the depths of hell. The only thing that leaves your lips is Megatron’s name. You yell it and then weep it and hear Starscream laugh. </p><p>“So noisy for such a tiny bug. Megatron isn’t going to save you. Not this time.” </p><p>You believe him. You’re alone again and you try with all your might to push your way into unconsciousness, fighting tooth and nail with the adrenaline kicking at your heart. </p><p>Your body shakes and you have to hold back the urge to vomit because you’ll just choke. You feel your eyes roll back into your head and mercifully everything goes dark. </p><p>___________________________________________</p><p> </p><p>Death feels different than you imagined. There isn’t overwhelming peace, or quiet, or anything really. It’s simply empty. All of your senses are numb, to the point you can’t even feel your lungs fill with air, or your tongue in your mouth. You exist only as a consciousness. Which, you think, kind of makes sense, since you don’t have a body anymore. </p><p>You look around the blackness in hopes of seeing something different, a pinprick of light or maybe a door to your next life, but there’s nothing. </p><p>So you wait, floating in a black ocean where it’s neither cold nor warm. </p><p>Hearing a voice shocks you. You’d gasp if you could, but you can’t, and watch as a figure draws from the darkness into your face. You recognize it from your dreams. Death stands before you, face to… hooded face. </p><p>“Am I really dead?” You ask, but your voice sounds far away and echoes off the unseen walls. </p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Wait, what?” </p><p>“You’re only dead for a moment. This is that moment.” </p><p>“Um… ok.” </p><p>“Time is different here.” </p><p>“Yeah time has been funky for me lately.” You try to smile but the feeling has nothing to move. </p><p>Death is quiet, and then you feel a coldness finally overtake your senses as he draws close enough to touch. </p><p>“Is this really what you want?” </p><p>“What? Death? You?” </p><p>You see the hood nod, somehow making out his black shape from the shadows around, as if he’s actually darker than the void. </p><p>“I mean… I think so? I did. I think I’ll always want to deep down.”</p><p>“But?” His warm voice prompts when you don’t continue on your own.</p><p>“I’m curious too. About Megatron. What my life could be with him.” </p><p>“It could end badly. You’ve been hurt enough for his sake, haven’t you?” </p><p>You just shrug. “It’s not really his fault though, is it? I mean the first time kinda, but after that he wanted to protect me. It isn’t his fault he couldn’t come to my rescue.” </p><p>Something occurs to you and you feel instantly… brighter. </p><p>“Wait, you can tell me- is he dead?”</p><p>Silence. </p><p>“Please! Will he die? Or will he be ok?” </p><p>Death tilts his head, then you think you hear a sigh like a cool wind brushing through the limbs of a dead tree. “He will recover. Soon.” </p><p>There’s a spark that ignites so tangibly in your heart you swear the world around you gets brighter. Hope and relief lift the veil of numbness you started to call home. </p><p>“I’ll see him again?” </p><p>“When you return, possibly.” </p><p>That’s all you want. </p><p>“Can I go back now?”</p><p>“It will hurt. Immensely.” </p><p>You shake your head. “I don’t care. I can’t hide here forever. The sooner I go back the sooner all… this mess ends.” </p><p>The being watches you. You may not be able to see its eyes, but you feel them. The feeling isn’t cold though, it’s caring. Almost affectionate. </p><p>“Very well. I will see you again, (y/n).” </p><p>There isn’t time to respond because your world floods. Water seems to cascade from everywhere until you’re thrown back into a confusing, disorienting darkness. </p><p>You wake on the table again and are fortunate that the pain is dull, slow to return full force upon your numbed senses. In that moment you can process that some time has passed. Starscream is gone, Shockwave stands in a corner writing something down, and you have more wounds. </p><p>Your shirt is gone and from just above your bellybutton to your sternum is cut open. You see things you shouldn’t be able to see. What really puzzles you is how you’re still alive, but there doesn’t seem to be much blood loss, and your wound is fresh enough your organs haven’t dried out. Again the urge to vomit overcomes you and you have to close your eyes and take a deep breath. </p><p>“Ready to continue?” Shockwave asks, and you peak at him to see he’s at the end of your table. </p><p>You have a renewed vigor though, a fight you’ve never known before. “Go fuck yourself.” You spit. </p><p>He reaches out and with a finger, presses at one of your exposed organs. The sensation doesn’t hurt so much as the pressure. You writhe and scream your throat raw as every little movement brings your brain back online to process it all. It’s as white hot as before, but you try to mitigate it and control your mind. You take a shallow breath and tell your limbs to stop moving. Less action means less pain, and it helps take the edge off. </p><p>“For a supposed warrior, you do not fight well.” He states with that repulsive curiosity. </p><p>Then he takes an instrument and pulls your abdomen apart as you’ve seen on those medical shows. Your skin and bones are pulled apart and the pain is so intense you think your heart is on the verge of outright stopping. Death is so close you can feel his breath on your neck and you’re reminded you have to fight just a little longer. </p><p>You can’t stop your screaming, or wailing, or the quiver of your body as it tries to get away, but you make your mind focus on Megatron. </p><p><i>Wake up. Wake up. Help me. Help me.</i> </p><p>Your voice gives out and it hurts too much to suck in another breath. </p><p><b>Wake up, Megatron.</b> </p><p>Unconsciousness trails its cold fingers over your scalp, tantalizing and playful. </p><p>Then you hear a noise. A loud bang, followed by reverberations against the metal bed under you. It makes you open your eyes and you see a series of events so quick it doesn’t process. </p><p>Shockwave has been slammed into the table, face first, and Megatron’s servo is at the back of his helm. You see him lift it again and give it another slam. Then another. And another. The berth is caving in and you think you see Shockwave’s optic crack. Megatron then lifts him up until his pedes are no longer on the ground, and puts his other servo to his back. Except it isn’t a servo, it’s a gun. </p><p>And it goes off. You watch it tear through Shockwave and leave a gaping hole in his abdomen, blue spitting and spurting out for the second before he lets him drop to the ground. </p><p>All you can do is stare as he comes forward, goes past you, and stops at something beyond your sight. Then in a pleasing rush, you feel the heaviness gone from your limbs. Whatever was keeping you down is gone, and you find it easier to take a small, gasping breath, though the pain is still almost unbearable. </p><p>When Megatron comes and tries to touch you, you scream. Everything hurts too much. Though you don’t want to, you can only sob softly as he leaves. </p><p><i>Don’t go. Don’t leave me again, please.</i> </p><p>You’re about to give up again and dismiss it as a dream before he returns, Knockout in tow. You barely process it’s him before your attention is on Megatron. You actually manage a smile. </p><p>“My hero.” You whisper, then scream again as knockout tries to start fixing some of the immediate damage. He pulls your skin back together and staples it, the sound jarring you more than the pain. Everything is pain, but you focus on Megatron. His expression hasn’t changed much, you still see a dangerous amount of anger, but there’s a vulnerability deep within his optics. He’s trying to hide it, but there’s a concern there. Concern for <i>you.</i> </p><p>With time to finally rest, and a fuckton of morphine from doctor Knockout, you pass out. You’re getting really, really good at passing out.</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Rest</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hopefully this one makes up for the last chapter lmao XD enjoy more meg love~</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As is warranted for anyone waking up after being full on, legit tortured, you wake up feeling like shit. More specifically, like you just pulled two consecutive all-nighters and lost your first night at fight club. Your body aches all over, but there’s a dullness to it. You wouldn’t call it pain exactly, and that fact alone is hugely refreshing. You take a deep breath and feel a distinct pinch in your abdomen, but it slowly fades into the same ache. You try moving your arm and feel the bandages wrapped around it, covering your wounds. They too pinch, but you don’t care. You feel a t-shirt has been put over your upper half, and silently thank whoever did, although you have only your underwear underneath. Still, it’s better than being outright naked. </p><p>Then you’re distracted by the movement at your waist. Now that you know it’s there, you register it’s an arm laying over your hip with long fingers splayed across your lower stomach, beneath your wounds. </p><p>You know this arm. You know this protective hold. Megatron is in his smaller form, and he’s spooning you. He isn’t in recharge either, because you feel what must be his helm move slightly against your hair. Your joy is so overwhelming you feel tears prick at the corner of your eyes. With careless resolve, you put your hand on his servo and slowly begin to turn. It hurts and your breath hitches, which makes the servo press you gently down into the bed once you’re laying on your back. It isn’t ideal but you’ll take it because you can turn and see him. He’s sitting up a little now, an intense look to his optics as he examines you. All you can do is smile. </p><p>“Hi.” You try, and your voice is even weaker than you expected. It’s rough and raspy and quiet but you can’t even begin to care. “Are you ok?” You ask after you swallow, and it comes out more audible. </p><p>He doesn’t answer. Instead his servo comes up from your waist and brushes against your cheek. It surprises you again just how gentle he’s capable of being, even with those deadly talons. You close your eyes and sigh, leaning into his touch as he cups your face. </p><p>“Are you in pain?” </p><p>God, you missed his voice. Not just his usual voice, but that one that only you get to hear. Like now, when he’s being soft and considerate and caring. You put your hand over his servo and press yourself into his touch, desperate for it, for <i>him.</i> </p><p>“No.” You answer finally, though it’s not technically true. There is some discomfort, but it’s easy for you to ignore when you have something else to focus on. </p><p>“I answered your question, now answer mine: are you ok?” You ask again, allowing your eyes to open so you can look at him. He seems troubled, his features all tense. You wonder if he’s in pain. </p><p>“I am functional.” Is his response, though it’s about as good as saying ‘I’m alive.’ You know that much already and frown at him. </p><p>“Are you in pain? Will you be able to do everything you did before?” You don’t know how their bodies work, but so far they’ve shown to be eerily similar to humans, so you worry he’ll be held back by his broken parts. </p><p>“I am fine, this will not impede my work.” </p><p>You frown deeper, trying to decipher what that really means. You’re too drugged up and tired to think too hard about it though, and instead tug weakly at him, saving your worry for another day. </p><p>“Come back here.” You whisper. To your surprise he doesn’t need any more coaxing, and carefully lets his body lay back next to yours as it was before. You take a deep breath, and then roll yourself onto your side so you can face him. He lets out a displeased growl but doesn’t manage to stop you. </p><p>You grin as best you can. Your hand goes to his face and traces the cool metal, unable to hide your affection in the moment. You’ll blame it on the drugs later. </p><p>“I missed you so much,” you whisper, like it's a secret. If it were possible for his body to tense up further, it does. You wonder what he’s feeling right then and if you should’ve said anything, but then he leans in and presses his helm to your forehead and you let out a content sigh. </p><p>Megatron seems to give in then. His arms wrap around you and gently tug you close to his body, until there isn’t an inch of space between you. You couldn’t possibly mind. You wrap yourself around him as painlessly as possible and bury your face into him. There’s quiet for a moment as you bask in each other, the peace and relief almost palpable between you both. </p><p>“I… apologize.” Megatron says so softly you could almost believe it was just another ex-vent. You look into his optics and stare, finding sadness has replaced his anger and worry for the moment. </p><p>“For what?” You ask as you rub your thumb along the plating just beside his lips. </p><p>“For leaving you alone. This should not have happened.” </p><p>In truth, you’re actually a little surprised. You never thought you’d hear an apology from Megatron, and definitely didn’t expect one for this. </p><p>“It’s ok. You still saved me.” </p><p>The anger returns to his face, twisting with the sadness to create something ultimately heartbreaking. </p><p>“Barely.” He hisses through his denta. You just press your fingers against his lips. </p><p>“This isn’t on you. It’s Starscream, and Shockwave. We’ll make them pay for their betrayal.” You mean that all too much, and feel like you’ve come dangerously close to being the evil queen Megatron envisioned you as. </p><p>He gives a pleased hum and kisses your fingertips. Nothing is being hidden now, you realize. Both of you have stopped pretending there isn’t something going on between you. Near death for both of you seems to have been a good catalyst. </p><p>You move your fingers from his face to his neck, then lean in and press a weak kiss to his lips. You’d dreamt of the last time you kissed in your weakest moments, and know that this is all you need right now to heal. </p><p>He returns it, but just barely. You can feel he’s weighing his options, considering whether it would be wise to continue or not. You prompt him by deepening the kiss just a little, pressing your form closer to his. Predictably, he can’t resist. His grip on you tightens and you feel him kiss back with a tempered passion. You both know it can’t go far, neither of you are in any shape for that, but the contact is irresistible. </p><p>You lift your leg up and hook it over his hip, and he responds in kind by moving a servo down the side of your body, tracing out every curve. He stops at your knee and holds you in place while his leg slips between yours, allowing you to straddle it. You break your kiss to gasp and let out a breathy moan, but he goes right to kissing at your jaw and neck. You tilt your head to the side and shiver when you feel his tongue flick over your skin. Determined not to be the only one teased, you employ your secret weapon and press your fingers between his panelling to brush at his sensitive wires. </p><p>He moans in your ear and you just about lose it then and there. Your heart is pounding in your ears and you can hardly keep your eyes open, wanting to fall into the pleasure he’s providing and lose yourself. You tug at a wire and feel his form shiver, then his servo moves from your knee across your thigh, and mercilessly grips your ass. </p><p>“So soft,” he whispers to you, and the pleasure coating his tone gives you goosebumps. Some part of you is relieved, since you’re so opposite to his kind. There was always a good chance he wouldn’t like that you’re warm, and squishy, and fragile. Lucky for you, he seems to be infatuated with exactly all of those things. </p><p>You can’t resist the urge to pull him in for a deep kiss after that, putting all of your gratitude and relief into this one act. Before you can think better of it, you even graze your tongue over his lips, which earns you a hungry growl from Megatron. His other servo is instantly at the back of your neck, holding you in place as he plunges his tongue into your mouth and dominates it. You moan loudly, pathetically, and automatically grind against his thigh. His grip on your neck tightens, but then he pulls from your mouth. You’re left gasping and panting against him, half lidded eyes dark with longing and frustration until he speaks. </p><p>“You are too weak for this. As am I.” You know it’s physically painful for him to admit to it, and you hate beyond words that he’s right. You can’t do this right now. You’re already exhausted just from this bit of foreplay, and have to imagine he is as well. He wasn’t recharging when you woke up, and it’s possible he hasn’t the entire time you were unconscious, however long that was. You hate it with every fiber of your being, but you nod. </p><p>“Ok… Yeah, you’re right.” You still press a soft kiss to his lips, but pull away and speak before he can scold you. “I’ll sleep if you do. I want to stay like this.” His optics scan yours and finds you’re genuine. He gives a nod. </p><p>With a soft smile, you snuggle in and bury your face into his neck, finding a cozy spot against his metal. His arms wrap around you again, holding you close as you let the drugs fog your mind entirely and drift back to sleep. </p><p>____________________________________________</p><p> </p><p>The next time you wake, it’s because Knockout’s cold servos are examining you. It takes a moment for you to realize what’s happening. Megatron is large again and standing at the end of the berth, his optics so sharp they rival his servos, while Knockout is trying to be as careful as possible. </p><p>The pain is much more noticeable this time around. You feel the staples pull at your skin as he lifts your arm and you bite your lip and wince. <i>It’s fine, you’ve been through worse,</i> you repeat to yourself over and over. It doesn’t help much. </p><p>“I’m so sorry. I know it hurts.” Knockout whispers to you, his voice dripping with guilt and regret. You caution a look at him, then catch one of his servos in your hand. </p><p>“It’s ok.” You say as you meet his optics. You mean more than just the pain and he can see that in your eyes. It’s ok he didn’t stop it. It’s ok he wasn’t there to save you. </p><p>“I tried. I really did.” He admits to you in a small voice you’ve never heard from him before. He opens his mouth to go on and you shush him. </p><p>“It’s ok. I know how it is.” After all, Knockout is a relatively small bot. You know he couldn’t have taken on Starscream and whatever decepticunts were following him, even though he probably wanted to. You needed Megatron and he came for you. The thought makes you glance at him and see he’s glaring daggers at Knockout. He may not be as free to forgive as you. </p><p>You give Knockout’s servo a little squeeze and smile, then let go so he can pump you full of drugs again now that your bandage is off. They flood through your veins like a nectar from the gods, bringing relief to every inch of your form. You visibly relax and let them pull you into sweet, painless sleep. </p><p>____________________________________________</p><p> </p><p>The next time you wake up the room is empty. Your eyes scan from one side to the other, but see no one. Several long seconds tick by before the door opens and you hear the tail end of an argument between Megatron, Knockout, and possibly another mech. You just hear sighs and huffs as the two come back into the room, then pause as they notice you’re awake. You look between them and give each a sleepy smile. Knockout comes over and you realize for the first time that you have an IV in your arm. You look down at it and are amazed when you see not only that, but your bandages and staples are gone from your forearm as well, leaving only dotted scars. The wounds aren’t entirely healed, but far better than the last time you were awake. </p><p>“How-“ you start, then cough because your throat is dry and scratchy. Knockout brings a little bottle to your lips and you take small sips of water. </p><p>“How long… was I asleep?” You ask with some difficulty, your lips dry and rough. </p><p>“A month.” Knockout says slowly as he examines your healing arms, then pulls up your shirt to see your belly. </p><p>One month. That’s how long you’ve been in a drug induced coma. You aren't even mad because you got to fast forward through the worst of your recovery, but it is a lot to accept. One month of your life is gone just like that. </p><p>“What’s been happening?” You direct your question to Megatron, knowing everyone else has likely been busy while you were napping. He turns to you and his gaze is fierce. </p><p>“We have been trying to locate Starscream.” </p><p>“Huh?” Is all you can manage. </p><p>“Shortly after I awoke, he fled the ship through a ground bridge and scrambled his location. We’ve been searching Earth ever since.” Then he comes closer and leans in so you can hear the resolve in his voice. “I will not stop until I crush his helm beneath my pede.” It’s a promise. You smile and reach out to him, and he offers a talon for you to hold. </p><p>“I know you won’t. Thank you.” You press a kiss to his finger and then look at Knockout. “Well, docbot, am I ready to get up and start living again?” </p><p>He lets out a small huff, but nods and removes the IV from your arm. “Take it slow, but you need to start moving around. Your muscles have gotten weak. Er.” He tries for a joke and you let out a breathy laugh. </p><p>“Ok. The pain is almost gone… am I off the meds?” You ask as you use Megatron and a bit of Knockout’s help to sit up. </p><p>“Right now, yes. Things will hurt once you start moving them again, but I know you can manage it.” </p><p>You take a deep breath and nod, feeling better already now that you’re sitting up and more alert. While having the painkillers was nice, you’d like to have your mind back too. Even now you still feel a bit of the fog, like you haven’t fully woken up yet. You’re eager to be yourself again even if it means dealing with some pain. You’re good at that. Hell, you should get an award for how well you’ve dealt with all the bullshit thrown your way. </p><p>“I will take you for a walk.” Megatron pipes up, and Knockout leaves your side. Instead of letting you stand up though, Megatron pulls you into his servo. You lay on the familiar metal and watch him as he walks you to the other side of the room. </p><p>Oh. You’re taking the ground bridge. You’re not going to complain though. He expertly puts in whatever coordinates he has in mind, and the ground bridge roars to life. You admire the colors bouncing off his helm as he walks through, his optics flitting down to you every few seconds to ensure you’re still ok. </p><p>When you get through to the other side, a warm, humid air licks at your skin and warms your lungs. You take a deep breath and taste salt. The sensation gives you a thrill since you haven’t eaten real food in weeks. You’re already grinning as Megatron sets you down, and you see that it’s dark out, but the beach you’re standing on is lit by a nearly full moon and millions of stars. The beach is long and the sand is warm beneath your bare feet, with a calm sea to your right. It laps gently at the beach, the sound a beautiful lull in the otherwise still night. The reflection of the stars ripple on the waters surface and you’re positively mesmerized. </p><p>Then you feel an arm wrap around your waist, and you nearly scream when you turn and see a human face staring down at you. The unnatural red eyes are the only dead giveaway that they aren’t really human at all.</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Worth the Wait</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Y’all ain’t ready for this and neither am I ok. Also yes I’m making this two parts because REASONS DON’T JUDGE ME *sweat*</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Standing beside you is a tall, silver fox. He must be more than six feet you gather, if not closer to seven, because he towers over you. His face is all fine lines, defined cheekbones and a sharp jaw with greying stubble and a patch hair at his chin. Those entrancing red eyes are deep set and keen, <i>knowing.</i> Frown lines and crow's feet don’t detract from how attractive he is in the slightest, every wrinkle feeling so fitting on his features. Then he tilts his head, and you’re struck by his long silver hair. It’s pulled back into a tight and precise ponytail, nearly glowing in the moonlight. He looks radiant. </p>
<p>You also feel very underdressed suddenly, because this fool is wearing a crisp black dress shirt, made of a silky material, and without the top few buttons done up. There’s a broad, strong chest beneath that you can see a hint of. Without even realizing, your gaze drifts down to his grey slacks, though stop at the belt buckle. At first you think it’s a skull, but there’s something off about it. It’s like something between a human and a cybertronian helm, and that’s far more off putting than a regular skull would have been. What is <i>below</i> the belt however- </p>
<p>“Would you stop gawking.” He interrupts, averting his gaze. </p>
<p>“I just can’t believe that’s you!” You let out once you get past your giddiness (and slight embarrassment) and can form words again. </p>
<p>“Is it not what you expected?” He asks with a pointed glance your way. There’s an edge to his tone, as if… he feels like you’re judging his new form and somehow found it lacking. But that couldn’t be possible, he’s always perfectly confident. </p>
<p>“No! I mean, honestly I just never imagined you would… Go from your powerful body to… y’know, an insect.” You don’t like the term, but it’s one he’s used himself to describe your species. </p>
<p>“Normally I wouldn’t bother, but I have no desire to cause a scene tonight. This way neither autobot nor human can interrupt.” </p>
<p>That’s enough reason for you. “That would be nice.” Then you bite your lip and lean in against him. “You look very, very handsome by the way.” </p>
<p>In this form you can tell very clearly the sound he gives off is a pleased hum. It does all sorts of things to your body, especially when the idiot part of your brain finally wakes up from your coma and reminds you just how fitting your ‘daddy’ remarks had been in the beginning. </p>
<p>You both start walking along the beach and you scramble to find a subject to distract your mind, though it really isn't that hard. There’s still something bothering you. </p>
<p>“Megatron, can you please tell me if you’re ok? And I mean really tell me, not skirt around it again or give some bullshit vague answer.” </p>
<p>He lets out a disgruntled sigh, but answers for you. “There were critical injuries that caused my system to shut down to mitigate the energon loss. My spark was… jarred, I will say, and it took some time to right itself. The wounds I sustained will no longer cause me issues due to the medical aid I received, and my spark is as it was before. A waste of time to say that I am fine and fully functional.” </p>
<p>“And I appreciate it very much. I can stop worrying now. Well, for the most part.” </p>
<p>His hand tenses slightly at your hip and you look over to him. Megatron’s face appears troubled for a moment, and then in the blink of an eye it’s horribly cold. </p>
<p>“You must be concerned for your wellbeing now, knowing that without my presence you can be harmed.” </p>
<p>There’s nothing wrong with his words, but the way he says it causes ice to cascade down your spine. You know what he’s really saying. You weren’t worried about him, you were worried about yourself. The subtle accusation makes you stop and pull away from his hold, a deep frown on your features. </p>
<p>You do take a moment to debate it though. To examine your feelings and see if maybe he’s right. Then you shake your head. </p>
<p>“I know what you’re saying, but that’s not how it is. I was, and still am, genuinely worried about <i>you.</i>” You take a deep breath and run your hand over your face. “When I was… When Shockwave was torturing me, I think I died. Just for a little while. And I don’t know if it was real or just my subconscious, but I talked to Death. And I think I genuinely had a moment where I could’ve given up? I could’ve died, for good. That would be it. With you gone, and everyone saying they weren’t sure you’d be back, I wanted to.” </p>
<p>You look into his eyes as you speak up again. “But then he told me you’d wake up and I wanted to live. I didn’t even know you’d come to rescue me, I just knew that if you were still alive, then I wanted to be too. Even though I’d have to deal with Shockwave cutting me open for who knows how long.” </p>
<p>You give a weak laugh at yourself, completely unprepared for Megatron to reach out and place both his hands on your face. It’s so shocking all you can focus on is how his hands actually have a texture. You can feel they’re torn and rough, but strong. They’re the hands of a fighter. These small facts almost distract you from the baffling look on his face. It’s hard to place what he’s feeling despite how expressive he is in human form, but you think you see some kind of… desperation? And maybe, even a touch of fear laced with worry. </p>
<p>“What?” You ask when he doesn’t explain, your own face riddled with worry. </p>
<p>He takes a long moment and composes himself. His hands fall away from your face and he stands tall again, looking out onto the horizon. </p>
<p>“This… Death, what did they look like?” </p>
<p>“Uh, pretty typical human representation. The whole black cloak, no face, real cold and yet like… weirdly caring? I dunno.” </p>
<p>He’s quiet. You reach out and touch his arm. </p>
<p>“Megatron?” </p>
<p>“I saw the same figure.” He says, his body rigid with tension. “I should not have been able to <i>see</i> anything in my state.” </p>
<p>That’s certainly weird, but you see one obvious, terrifying possibility. “So… we actually talked to Death? That’s what you’re saying?” You ask flatly despite your internal screaming. </p>
<p>“It is the only explanation. They told me I was needed urgently, and I saw you in Shockwave’s lab… screaming. Saying my name.” </p>
<p>You take a moment to swallow down your own emotions, especially when you feel his muscle flex under your touch, and see his hand is curled into a tight fist. </p>
<p>“Then they saved us both.” You whisper, prying gently at his fingers until you can slip your hand into his. He finally looks over at you, his brows knit and a pained gleam in his eyes. You just smile. </p>
<p>“I don’t care how, or who, whether that was Primus himself or the grim reaper, they gave us another shot. I don’t wanna blow it this time.” You raise his hand and kiss it, noting all the veins bulging under his skin and how unfairly sexy you find it. </p>
<p>His free hand goes to the back of your neck and pulls you into a similarly needy kiss as you shared before you left, though with him in human form it feels like so much more. You can actually feel real lips on your own and how your bodies seem to interlock perfectly in that one moment. </p>
<p>He’s the one to pull away, his breath hot on your lips as you both pant. Even just one simple kiss has you both riled up, and the warmth in your skin gives you an idea. </p>
<p>“Let’s swim.” You suggest as his hand moves from your neck up into your hair. </p>
<p>“Are you strong enough?” </p>
<p>You nod quickly. “Yeah. It’ll actually be a lot easier for me than walking.” </p>
<p>He considers this for a moment, then gives his nod of approval, dropping his hand as you let go of him and take a few steps towards the water. The sand begins to get damp and soft under your feet, and you can’t believe how warm it is. The water is perfect. With your back turned to Megatron, you pull your shirt up and over your head and toss it behind you onto dry sand. </p>
<p>You almost forgot about your tattoo, but you can physically feel Megatron’s shock, which prompts you to glance over your shoulder with a knowing smirk. For the first time since you’ve known him, Megatron is stunned. His human face shows off his disbelief, his jaw even a little agape as he now gawks at you. You want to think a tiny part of it is also because you just took off your shirt and intend to be ninety-five percent naked during this little swim. </p>
<p>You look back out to the water and start to walk toward it, eventually deep enough your feet can leave the seafloor and you begin to float. You turn around and face Megatron, who looks to have gotten his composure back somewhat. He’s also closer to the water’s edge, but not enough to get wet. </p>
<p>“When did you get that?” He asks and your smirk only broadens. </p>
<p>“Uh… the day you got hurt. Roughly. Honestly I think I just wanted a distraction but… y’know. I said I was going to do it.” You manage to shrug. </p>
<p>“I did not think you were serious.” </p>
<p>You laugh. “I kinda wasn’t but then I felt left out of the club.” </p>
<p>Megatron sighs. </p>
<p>“I thought you’d like it.” You admit, just a tiny bit bummed he isn’t reacting quite as you hoped. </p>
<p>“I do.”</p>
<p>“Then come and show me.” </p>
<p>Megatron raises a brow and you give him a challenging look right back as you allow the waves to pull you further out. You aren’t sure he’s going to take your bait, but the next thing you know he’s walking out into the water. And he doesn’t have a shirt on anymore <i>hot damn.</i> However sexy you thought he was underneath that outfit, reality is ten times that. He looks so strong and chiseled and he has abs and oh fuck you’re gonna drown yourself because this was a mistake. </p>
<p>Too late. He’s in front of you, still standing on the seafloor because he’s tall as hell, and only his bare shoulders and his head remain above water. Which you know is for your sake since he doesn’t have to breathe. He reaches out and takes your arms, tugging you into him. Your entire form is jelly at this point so you don’t fight it. You just wrap your arms around his shoulders and shiver as his fingers trace the tattoo on your back. He seems to have it memorized already, because he’s capable of tracing the outline perfectly without even looking. </p>
<p>When he gets to the peak at your neck, you shiver. You try to tell yourself to get the horny under control for five minutes but it’s too late. Megatron noticed and one of his hands slides around your side and to your chest, where you remember suddenly that you’re completely bare. You don’t even have time to be embarrassed before his fingers are on the sensitive skin. He squeezes and you let out a desperate moan, moving closer to him for help to stay afloat. You lean in and press your face against his, knowingly right in front of his ear. He can hear you panting, and each soft moan he elicits as his hand moves over your skin. </p>
<p>Then his fingers graze your nipple and you can’t help but squeak. </p>
<p>“C-careful! That’s… really sensitive.” You whimper. </p>
<p>“Is it?” He rumbles and his voice is so low and raspy you can feel it all through his chest. He’s loving this. Just because of your words, he pays special attention to your nipple, rolling it between his finger and thumb, then giving it a gentle tug. You claw at the back of his head and moan, your face shoved into the side of his head as if that could smother it in the least. </p>
<p>“Your teasing is going to ruin all of our dates.” You pant against him as he switches hands and begins his torture on the other side. Just for good measure. </p>
<p>“I don’t see how it could ruin anything when you are enjoying it so much.” </p>
<p>Oh his self satisfied tone ruins you. He knows exactly what he’s doing and he’s enjoying every second of turning you into a whiny mess. Which he’s pretty well succeeded at already. You, however, find a way to fight back. </p>
<p>Via splashing water at a warlord. He’s stunned long enough you can giggle and swim from his hold, glancing back only to see his fiery eyes shine in the moonlit dark. You swim with all your might, and think you may have ‘escaped’, but his hand wraps around your ankle and you’re tugged under the water. Your eyes open and burn for a moment, but you blink it away and see him drag you closer with all the strength of his full size. </p>
<p>Then his hand is around your neck. Your hands go to his rock hard wrist and hold it, but you don’t try to pull it away. You know you couldn’t anyway, but you’re determined to face up with him as this is surely a punishment for trying to slip away. Seconds tick by and your need for air increases with each one, making you squirm in his hold. He tilts his head and you resent how much he’s enjoying this. Only when your grip tightens and your kicks become more frantic does he lift you to the surface and let you sputter and choke on the air you’re trying to force into your lungs. While you’re still panting he leans in and kisses you, his tongue instantly sliding through your open mouth to meet your own. You moan, loudly and shamelessly against him. </p>
<p>He pulls away to speak. “Do not defy me again.” He growls with all the command of a leader. Your body quakes and you nod. </p>
<p>“Yes, sir.” </p>
<p>You’re rewarded with a soft kiss, then another at your jaw. Yet you’re still surprised when his arms snake around your body and tug you flush with his, and he starts walking back toward the beach. You latch onto him and take advantage of the moment to press kisses all over his face, then his neck once it’s above the water. Maybe it’s just your imagination, but you swear he’s breathing harder. </p>
<p>You don’t miss the water once you’re fully out of it. This way you can feel Megatron’s grasp on you, his warm body supporting yours, and how easily he can bear your weight. There’s just something sexy about his strength, and how gently he can apply it to you, never once hurting you. Well, by accident at least. </p>
<p>You glance over your shoulder once he starts walking along the beach and spot the destination he has in mind. Further down the shore someone has placed a plastic, floating dock into the water, with a fancy looking boat attached and bobbing gently with the waves. You silently thank Primus for Megatron’s consideration, because as horny as you are, you seriously weren’t about to do this on the sand. That would be a nightmare. The dock however looks clean and relatively comfy as you get closer. It’ll do for you. </p>
<p>Megatron sets you down once you’re a few feet onto the dock, and you’re happy to lay on your back splayed in front of him. He spends a second just staring at you and your blush darkens. </p>
<p>“Do you… like what you see?” You prod, suddenly wondering if he could really ever find your species attractive. </p>
<p>“No.” He growls, and your heart sinks like a rock tossed into the ocean. One strangled heartbeat later and his hands are at your soaked underwear, and he literally tears them from your body. Could’ve easily just taken them off, but no, he thoroughly ruins them and you can’t even bring yourself to mind. You even have a little grin and bite your lip as you watch him toss them aside and then promptly spread your legs. </p>
<p>“Now I do.” He says as he stares down at you, completely bare and open to him. You’re nervous beyond description, but the hungry look in his eye reassures you. He wants this just as much as you do.  </p>
<p>He runs his hands down the inside of your thighs, but you reach out and stop him before he can go any further. </p>
<p>“Megatron, this is my first time,” you admit, knowing the furthest you got was first base with a classmate during a middle school pep rally. Look how far you’ve come. </p>
<p>“As it should be. I will be your first and only.” The possessiveness in his voice makes your toes curl and you hold back a moan. </p>
<p>“I agree, but not what I was getting at. I appreciate you being human for me, and you’re really fucking hot, but… I want to do this with the real you. I mean not the giant version because that would kill me, but the mini you.” </p>
<p>He tilts his head, his face revealing his confusion. “You would rather mate with my default form than one of your own species?” </p>
<p>It sounds weird when he says it like that but fuck it, it’s true. “Yeah,” you answer with a nod of your head. </p>
<p>“Very well,” he growls, but you know he’s the furthest from displeased he possibly could be. In the blink of an eye his holoform is gone and hovering over you is the Megatron you’ve come to know. </p>
<p>You start to have doubts though, because this form is even larger than the last one. By several feet. You swallow and look up into his optics. </p>
<p>“Are you nervous?” He asks with a purr, and you give a curt nod. </p>
<p>“Is this… as small as you can get?” You question, and he nods. “Well fuck it. Kill me with your dick, I don’t care.” You admit and tug at him, which he responds to by allowing you to pull him into a kiss. It’s crazy to you how natural this feels, even compared to his holoform. There’s simply more <i>life</i> in Megatron this way, and you can tell instantly he’s more comfortable in his own skin. </p>
<p>Without warning you feel his claws at your folds, and you nearly scream from the contact, arching your back and pressing more into his hand. Even if his fingers are sharp enough to cut you, your horny brain still wants them inside you. </p>
<p>“Please, Megatron, I need something.” You beg, gripping at his shoulders and beckoning him with a wiggle of your hips. He doesn’t respond, and all you feel is his cool metal graze your steaming skin. Even the few drops of cool water still on your skin bring no amount of relief. </p>
<p>“I can see that.” He states, and you’ve never once been more embarrassed than when his servo pulls away, and you can see your wetness glisten on each of his talons. You shake and watch as he puts each in his mouth and licks it off. He lets out a moan once he’s done. </p>
<p>“I will taste you another time.” He promises, and then sits up so he’s positioned between your thighs. </p>
<p>That’s when you see it. His metallic dick. You don’t know when it came out but it’s there, and you remember Knockout called Breakdown a spike in the same manner, so you guess that’s what they refer to them as. Naturally, Megatron’s is upsettingly <i>pretty.</i> You see it glow from within with that same beautiful purple, and there’s a glob of silvery liquid dripping down the tip that looks like captured moonlight. Not to mention it’s probably as big as your forearm. You’re definitely going to get fucked to death, and you couldn’t be more eager. </p>
<p>You look up to meet his burning optics, and then wiggle your hips for him. “Please... I want your spike in me, master.” You aren’t beyond begging now, especially since it causes his form to shake from helm to pede and he lets out that animalistic growl. His servos come down and grip your hips, keeping you still as he rubs his tip just through your folds, coating it with your slickness. </p>
<p>“Such a good pet,” he praises as you whine and writhe underneath him, your entire lower half aching painfully with the need to have him inside you. He leans down over you and takes a deep breath, and you realize he’s smelling you. The scent of lust and sex must be overwhelming, because his grip on your hips becomes painful and he pushes his tip inside without hesitation. </p>
<p>You scream. Half out of ecstasy, and half of pain. As eager as your body is for him, nothing could properly prepare you for the sensation. He’s beyond big, and you’re taken aback by the warmth and softness you feel. He’s rock hard, but still flexible enough he’ll be able to feel when you tighten around him. He’s perfect. </p>
<p>And with that you cum. He’s barely a few inches in and you cum so hard every single muscle in your body tenses and you scream his name. Your nails claw at his chest and he pushes further into you despite how you’re clenched around him. The pleasure flooding your senses helps ease the pain and heighten the high as he fully sheaths himself inside you. Well, you’re pretty sure you can’t fit him entirely, but you’re as full as physically possible. This seems to be more than enough for Megatron, because you open your eyes to see a look of bliss on his face. Then he bares his teeth and growls as he pulls from you and then roughly pushes back in. </p>
<p>You whimper his name with all the desperation you can manage and clench around him again. All it takes is for you to press your hands to his sides and trace the creases between his plates, and you hear him roar as he cums too. He leans down and bites your shoulder with enough force to cause blood to gush out, but you can’t bring yourself to care. Especially not when he pounds into you a few times just to coax more of his seed out and shove it further into you. It doesn’t all fit of course, and you hear a dirty sound as it squishes out onto your thighs. </p>
<p>You’re hardly two minutes into fucking and you’ve both cum. You actually laugh. </p>
<p>“I guess that’s what happens when you do nothing but tease.” You whisper into his ear, followed by a moan as he laps up your blood with his tongue. He lifts his helm so he can kiss you, deep but almost distracted as he bears his own ecstasy, and you taste the metal in your blood mixed with his own. </p>
<p>“We are far from done,” he warns, his tone dangerous. You look into his optics and see it matched there, something positively feral and predatory shining in them. You swallow thickly. </p>
<p>“I was hoping not.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Fitting Into Place</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Now that the smut can is opened there is so much more where that came from LMAO these two have been waiting too long </p><p>Have some cute stuff as well 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Megatron isn’t kidding. He barely gives you a moment to rest before he pulls out and you gasp at the sudden loss. Really you don’t know what you were expecting, but you want him back. Now. You claw at his shoulders in an attempt to pull him in again, but you’re easily ignored. Instead he flips you over and lifts your hips in the air so you’re kneeling. A fitting position you think, especially as he leans in and drags his tongue across one of the lines of your tattoo. You sigh and push back into him, eager to be full again. He doesn’t let you. In fact, he’s teasing you again, taking the moment to massage your hips and ass with his sharp fingers. How he has the patience to do so you don’t know. </p><p>“Please, Megatron…” you start, and then his servo is in your hair. He grabs a fistful and pulls it back painfully, making you look at him. </p><p>“That’s no way to beg.”</p><p>You feel his ex-vents on your skin, each puff hot and rapid. You meet his optics and let out a shaky breath of your own. </p><p>“Lord Megatron… master, please, allow me to satisfy you.” </p><p>That hit the spot for him. He lets out a loud, rough noise you interpret as a raspy moan. He lets go of your hair and presses a kiss to your neck, both servos back on your hips so he can keep you in place as he slides in again. The entrance is still tight, but easier than the first time. Even though you have a crazy suspicion he’s actually bigger than before based on how you stretch. </p><p>You let out a rough gasp as he starts to move, and then your breath is taken away entirely. He isn’t being gentle anymore. You feel him thrust into you as hard as he wants, hard enough to leave bruises, especially where his fingers grip you so you stay in place. All you can do is moan and grunt as he ruins you. There’s a sharp pain as he slows to roll his hips, and you aren’t sure if it’s his plating or his talons that has torn your skin. Not that it matters. You’re happy to add more scars to your body that actually have a positive connotation. </p><p>While you had definitely given some thought to what being railed by a ten foot metal alien would be like, the actual experience blows everything out of the water. His spike strokes every inch of you and you practically see sparks with each thrust. Megatron is still at your ear, snarling and moaning. Then he starts speaking in cybertronian, words that mean nothing to you and are just garbled static to your ears. You may not understand the words, but his tone is so desperate and turned on that you don’t have to. Whatever it is, it’s dirty and you love it. </p><p>“Cum in me,” you plead as he moves to whisper something in your ear and nip at your earlobe. You feel his tongue and shiver. “I’m so close.” You pant heavily and feel yourself hurtling towards the edge once again, and you’re more than ready to fall over it. </p><p>“Wait. We release together.” He growls as a command and you almost sob. </p><p>“Please- I can’t-”</p><p>“You can and you will, (y/n).” The way he says your name almost makes you cum right then, but you dig your nails into the plastic beneath you until it hurts. He doesn’t make it easy, considering all the love bites and kisses he’s planted over your shoulders to make you a bloody mess. His bloody mess. You grit your teeth and clench around him as tight as possible, eliciting a hiss from Megatron. He curses (you think) in cybertronian, and then shifts your position again. He lets you fall to your side and then takes your leg and pushes it up towards your head. You’re grateful you’re at least somewhat flexible, because his servo is hooked under your knee and keeping it there. </p><p>Throughout this he never once stops thrusting into you. You look at him hovering over you and bite your lip. You have to speed this along or you’re going to burst. Without his permission, you doubt that would end well. </p><p>“I love how you fuck me,” you breathe, letting loose a loud, unrestrained moan as your head falls back to the dock. “I’m yours… all yours.” </p><p>You feel him throb inside you and suddenly his lips slam into yours in a deep, possessive kiss. You feel his tongue slip inside without waiting for invitation and you put up no fight. Your moaning into his mouth finishes him off. With one particularly violent thrust he cums, filling you even fuller than last time with… whatever it is that comes out of their spikes. You don’t wait for permission to let go yourself, and the pleasure blinds you. </p><p>For that moment nothing matters but you and him. You don’t care about anything else. All you focus on is him inside you, the coiling of your insides in bliss, and his heavy body atop your own. This is how you always want to be. </p><p>“Mine.” Megatron vents as he pulls away to let you breathe. You just nod, at a complete loss for words or the capacity to say any of them. Not that you want to disturb the moment anyway. You’ve fallen in love with the sounds his body makes. When you’re close to him like this, you can hear everything. Each deep vent that amounts to panting. His internal fans which have kicked into overdrive trying to cool him down. Even the small clicks of his parts moving as he subtly shifts. </p><p>Then you hear it. Your favorite sound of all. His spark is louder than usual, and singing so brightly. You grin. His heart is literally <i>happy</i> and you did it. </p><p>You don’t resist the urge to pull him back into a kiss, though this one is different. There are still hints of passion and lust of course, but you seek to convey nothing more than adoration and affection. To your surprise, he returns in kind. The kiss remains soft and for lack of another term, loving. But all good things must come to an end. </p><p>“We must stop here,” he says slowly once you part, and you’re ready to throw a hissy fit, especially as he sits himself up and pulls away, and out of you. </p><p>“Are you serious?” You whine and let your body flop onto the dock. He must be able to tell you’re on the verge of a rant, because he raises his servo to stop your complaining. </p><p>“I don’t <i>want</i> to stop, but this form requires a great deal of energy to maintain. Energy I’ve only just gotten back.” </p><p>It makes sense. You know he’ll probably need a lot more recharge time before he can be pulling tricks like changing his size for hours on end. </p><p>You groan. “Why do you have to be so goddamn reasonable all the time? I can’t even be mad.”</p><p>He smirks and offers his servo to you. “One of my many charms.” </p><p>You take it and stand up, using him to support you even once you’re up because your legs are jelly. He pushes you back just enough so that he can dip down and kiss your chest, and his name which is now written there forever. You smile and pet his helm, even giving a small kiss to the top. </p><p>He guides you off the dock and once he’s let go of your hand, you wobble your way back out into the water to clean yourself off. Behind you Megatron transforms back into his default form, and squats on the beach to be somewhat less noticeable. You let out a hiss as you feel the salt wash over all of your new wounds, and realize just how many they are. Bite marks, scratches, bruises… yet you’re smiling. You can’t wait to show them off, especially to the other decepticons. </p><p>Once you’re satisfied you’re as clean as you can be, you force your jelly self back over to Megatron and collapse into his outstretched servo. Your arms wrap around his finger and you look back up to the stars. </p><p>“Will you ever be able to show me other planets?” You ask and feel his optics land on you. He doesn’t answer right away, and you take it upon yourself to go on. </p><p>“I mean because humans, we don’t live very long. Like one hundred years max, and I’m definitely not getting to that. But this war you’re fighting has been going on for like… millions of years. So for my lifetime, this is probably all you’ll be doing, right?” </p><p>You look over and see him nod. You think he’s purposely keeping his expression blank because you can't make anything out. You look away and nod, though your voice gets softer. </p><p>“That’s ok. As long as I can stay with you I’ll be happy.” </p><p>Your admittance causes him to brush his talon over your cheek and you smile, then turn to kiss it. You both stay like that for a few moments, then Megatron stands up and a ground bridge appears just a bit down the beach. You take one last look at the beach, and the water, and the horizon dotted with stars. This is probably the best day of your life, and you don’t think it can get much better. </p><p>The ground bridge takes you back to Megatron’s room, and he sets you back onto his berth where your little bed is set out. He lays you in it and you feel all your exhaustion and pain now that the euphoria and lust have worn off. You probably overdid it in fact, but nothing in the world would make you take it back. You just collapse and watch as Megatron does the same. You don’t think you’ve ever actually seen him look tired, but he does now. His optics are a dull red, and his expression lacks even its usual amount of disdain. Still, he lays down so he can face you, and puts his servo close enough that you can cuddle one of his fingers. You both fall asleep instantly, in the comfort of each other’s company. </p><p> </p><p>____________________________________________</p><p> </p><p>The next day, after your much needed and long rest, you aren’t sure if anything is going to be different. Sure, you slept with Megatron, but is that even a big deal? You don’t know if sex has the same meaning for them as it does humans. </p><p>That’s why you’re so glad to have docbot come check up on you. Your sunny grin literally has him stop in his tracks and frown the second he sees it. </p><p>“What did you do?” He asks warily as he slowly resumes his walk toward you. You’re still on Megatron’s berth, though the leader himself had just left. </p><p>“I did nothing. Well, I did something, but I don’t know if it’s a big something. That’s why I’m going to ask you.” You beam at him and he already looks exhausted, but you know you’ve got him on the hook when you see the slight gleam in his optic. He’s curious. </p><p>“I don’t think I have a choice, so shoot.” He says as he lifts your arm and checks over the wounds, which are very nearly scars already. </p><p>“I slept with Megatron.” </p><p>He snorts. You don’t say anything. He looks up from your arm to meet your eye, and you just bite your lip and shrug. </p><p>“You’ve gotta be fucking <i>kidding me.</i>” He blurts, and you think he’s more surprised than anything. </p><p>“Nope. Full on, legit intercourse.” </p><p>“How did you not die?” </p><p>“Dude, I almost did. Like, at least twice. But I’m pretty sturdy so I powered through as he plowed through.” You giggle and his optics roll. </p><p>“Well obviously you’re not asking me for advice on interfacing since you’ve already done it. What do you wanna know then?” </p><p>“Uh…” You take a moment to consider it, then sigh. “Tell me honestly… is um, interfacing, a big deal to you guys? Like do you have one night stands or is it a mate-for-life kinda situation?” </p><p>Knockout sits on the edge of the berth and leans back, supporting himself on his servos behind him. You think not for the first, or last time just how grateful you are he’s willing to educate you on this stuff. </p><p>“It’s changed a lot over the years ‘cause of the war, and different places had their own ideology and whatever. Since then though, there haven’t been a lot of femmes, which puts anyone around here who’s straight at a loss. Doing it with a human though… It’s not entirely unheard of, but rare. There’s been a few rumors of autobots ending up in like, full on relationships before, and messing around with them happens sometimes. Hell, I’ve been with a few just for fun.” He glances over at you and shakes his helm. </p><p>“Fuckin’ Megatron though? Never thought I’d hear that.”</p><p>“Why not?” You ask slowly, fearing the answer. </p><p>“It just never seemed like it was on his radar. Dude has an impressive one track mind. I never thought he’d focus on anything that wasn’t the war or Cybertron.” </p><p>You let out a little sigh. “You gotta get tired of that eventually though, right? And want something else.” Knockout just shrugs. “Ok well what do you think it is? Because I’m not knowledgeable enough to tell if this is a big deal.”</p><p>“Oh it’s definitely a big deal no matter what. I just can’t say if he’s going for sparkmates or fuckbuddy.” </p><p>You pout because that’s no answer at all. </p><p>“Don’t look at me like that. You gotta ask him yourself. I don’t read minds. I mean, it’s possible because there’s code and- never mind. Talk to him.” He sits up and then stands. “Your injuries look good. I expect a full recovery once you get your strength back. I’m not gonna ask about the other marks because now I know the answer and I really don’t want details. Just try not to overdo it. </p><p>You smile and nod, though don’t promise anything. “Thanks, Knockout.” </p><p>He gives a little wave and leaves the room, the door of which Megatron had left open so you could get your checkup. You stand from your bed and try to stretch, but holy hell everything aches the moment you do. Between your legs is definitely bruised, and your muscles are even weaker than they were yesterday. You just laugh at yourself and sink to your knees. You’re still naked though, and without the bedding to cover you, you kinda have to get to your clothes. </p><p>You’re gonna crawl. You make it about five feet before you lay face down on the cold berth and groan. Nope, movement is bad and you aren’t doing that. You’ll just stay here for a while. </p><p>“Waiting for me?” You hear a voice ask and smile without meaning to. The fact that it’s Megatron makes you keep your head pressed to the metal of the berth. </p><p>“Mm.” Is your only response, and you hear his pedes carry him closer to you. Somehow you sense his form is hovering over you, because you aren’t surprised when the tip of his finger presses at your lower back, and drags up your spine. You do, however, shiver, because it feels marvelous and sensual and all the things one little touch shouldn’t be capable of being. </p><p>You let out a huff and turn to lay on your back, staring at him upside down. You can tell he’s smirking even then. </p><p>“No funny business. I’m still trying to recover from yesterday.” </p><p>“Then you should not be so tempting.” He says with no shame as his finger trails shapes over your thigh. You force yourself to pout harder. </p><p>“I’m trying to put clothes on, but <i>someone</i> fucked me to the point I can’t walk.” </p><p>“Pity.” The sarcasm drips from his tone and it’s too sexy. You know you’re already a little turned on and he can tell. Damn, you’re easy. </p><p>“Megatron seriously! Can you bring me some clothes?” </p><p>He tilts his head and you’re preparing another argument before he disappears from view. You breathe a sigh of relief when you hear the rustle of your bags. He comes back and sets his choice beside you. </p><p>It’s the red lingerie set. You cover your face and laugh. </p><p>“Megatron that’s… not clothing. Well it is but they’re underclothes. Y’know. To go under the real stuff.” </p><p>“You have no need for anything else. I will keep you warm.” </p><p>You uncover your face and look at him, a broad smile on your lips despite what a brat he’s being. “You really wanna parade me around in just that?” You ask, and immediately regret you did. </p><p>“Yes. I did not mark you for it to be covered up.” </p><p>You open your mouth to argue again, but his face turns into a frown and he gets close enough you feel a puff of air from his ex-vent. “It is this or nothing.” His tone is final. “Do you require anything else?” </p><p>“Food, I guess.” You sigh as you sit up and take the skimpy lingerie set from its hanger. Megatron again leaves your field of view and comes back with a water bottle and your bag of beef jerky. You take a strip out and rip a chunk off before you stand and shimmy on the panties. </p><p>“I did not know humans were carnivores.” Megatron comments, his helm tilted as you mangle the strip of tough jerky. You stop and look at him, then swallow. </p><p>“We’re omnivores. We’ll eat anything that doesn’t make us sick. And like, barely that. There’s this fish some people eat that has to be prepared by a special chef, because it’s ridiculously poisonous to humans unless prepared right. People still die from it all the time, but they do it anyway.” </p><p>Megatron frowns and you laugh. “I know, we shouldn’t be the apex predator or whatever. We all know. Humans as individuals are often complete dumbasses.” </p><p>He just nods in agreement and watches as you put on your bra. It only takes a moment and you stuff another piece of jerky in your mouth and motion him over. He lets down his servo and you crawl into it, but he stops with you in front of his face. You blink and swallow. </p><p>“What?” You ask just as you realize he’s examining your outfit. You can’t resist the urge to lay on your side, internally thinking ‘paint me like one of your French girls’, and run your hand over your hip. </p><p>“It… suits you.” He says, but you think he meant something else. Did you actually manage to fluster him for a change? Primus, you hope so. He wastes no time in setting you on his shoulder, so you don’t make the effort to ask, and instead smirk in your little alcove between his plates. </p><p>“So where are we going? I didn’t get to ask what you were up to.” You’re just glad he’s willing to take you out still. You’re beyond sick of lying in your bed trying to heal. You’ve done it enough, time to live a little. </p><p>“I will hear reports on the bridge, and then we can leave the ship.” </p><p>Another day date. You’re already pumped. He walks you to the bridge and it’s currently empty. He goes to his throne and pulls up some screens, tapping at all the icons with ease and speed you couldn’t manage even if it were in English. You can’t help but admire him. </p><p>Then the doors slide open and you see Soundwave. He looks the same as ever, except Laserbeak is perched on his helm, as if it’s some sort of metal bird’s nest. You actually snort the sight is so ridiculous. Megatron gives you a look but you actually believe you’re on the same page about this, because his lips quirk just a touch before it’s gone. </p><p>“Lord Megatron,” his robotic voice repeats, as if it were a recording instead of his own words. “Energon signals explored. No sign of: autobots, Starscream, energon deposits. Found one injured vehicon. Confirmed conspirator. Taken offline.”</p><p>Megatron rumbles and sits back in his seat, doing that sexy pose he does when he’s being the boss. “Then they were there. Mark the location and do another sweep. He’s after something. He wouldn’t run without a backup plan.” You can tell he’s tense just from talking about the traitor, and you can’t blame him. You’re still angry too, and the fact it’s been a month and they’re still chasing breadcrumbs… </p><p>“Addition:” Soundwave speaks up again, “Skywarp requested your presence at the training field.” </p><p>That makes Megatron grumble, and you look over to see his talons digging into the armrest again. </p><p>“Dismissed.” He hisses, and Soundwave repeats his honorifics before making a swift exit. </p><p>“What does that mean?” You ask once silence has settled in. </p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I understood the part about Starscream being his usual coward bitch self, but what was that about training? What does that mean?” </p><p>“A duel. One on one combat until the other surrenders.”</p><p>“And they challenged… you?” You’re incredulous to say the least. You can’t imagine why anyone would voluntarily ask Megatron to smash their face in. </p><p>“I am the best. To stand against me is to show off.” </p><p>“So it’s not about training, it’s about a spike measuring contest?” </p><p>He actually chuckles at that. “And that is why I always win.” You snort and roll your eyes as he stands. “It may interrupt our plans, but I could never turn down an opportunity to put someone in their place.” </p><p>“You’re totally eager to butt heads like horny goats, I get it. By all means.” You wave a hand and he starts walking from the bridge to the training field. You’re not quite ready to outright admit how hot watching him fight will be, so you pretend you’re disinterested in it all, simply along for the ride. As if. </p>
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<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Fight Kink</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Everything is smut now and I have exactly Zero regrets &gt;:) </p><p>I also realized I’ve been hella stupid and never really explained how I see Megs! Especially since the verse is a clustertruck. So I should say the Megs I see is pretty close to tf prime, but with some bayverse complexity thrown in. I love when he’s all sharp and kinda messy so :3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The training field is literally full of ‘cons when you arrive. All the ones you’ve met, those you haven’t yet, and at least a dozen vehicon lackeys who thought they could ditch their duties for a while. You can’t blame them. You doubt this sort of thing happens every day. </p><p>Standing in the center of the circle is a black and purple decepticon who resembles Starscream to an eerie degree, though you guess it’s because they also turn into a jet, and have large metal wings at their back. There’s a yellow section at their chest that stands out to you, since it appears to not actually be metal, but rather something transparent like glass. </p><p>The mech, which you assume is Skywarp, turns to you both with a cocky grin. You can immediately tell this isn’t going to be the contest you were expecting. This mech isn’t here to show up Megatron, or try to replace him. They want to impress. It’s written all over their stance and the admiring look in their optics. You’ve spent enough time with Lugnut to know what loyalty without fear looks like, and this mech has that in spades. </p><p>That bright look in their optics doesn’t last when they notice you of course, and both narrow to red slits. Decepticons that don’t want to kill you on sight are few and far between apparently. </p><p>“Are you sure of this, Skywarp?” Megatron asks to draw the bot’s attention back as he comes to a stop, the circle of spectators widening to allow room for both challengers. His voice is tired at best, irritated at worst, but still softer than you expected. </p><p>“You shouldn’t have to ask that. Someone has to succeed Starscream as second in command.” </p><p>It clicks for you that this is basically a decepticon job interview. You wonder then why Megatron is so tense still. The relationship between them is something you’ll have to ask about later, despite your burning questions, because they’re both taking up battle positions. </p><p>“Then let us begin.” Megatron says, and your heart stops as you wonder whether he forgot you were there. He hasn’t, the last thing he does is set you on the ground, and you suddenly have to make a run for the pedes of the other ‘cons before you’re caught in the brawl. Luckily you see Knockout is leaning against a wall far to the side, and you make a break for him. </p><p>Not so luckily, a pair of pedes stop you. You look up and see Thundercracker has caught you, his optics narrowed as they always seem to be. You don’t get a chance to tell him to fuck off before he leans down and scoops you up into his servo. He’s gentle at least, but you think it’s because he’s considering dropping you. </p><p>“Shockwave did not make much progress.” He comments with obvious disappointment, his finger rubbing over the Frankenstein scar on your stomach before you push it away. </p><p>“Let me go, freak.” You snap, feeling the panic at the back of your mind knowing this mech is basically just a less reckless Shockwave. You honestly don’t know which you’d be more afraid of, but right now it’s the one holding you in his servo and looking at you like an unfinished project and is just itching to finish the job. </p><p>“You will miss the fight from the floor.” He says as he sets you on his broad shoulder. It’s easier to sit on, but you’re so goddamn uncomfortable just being this close to the scientist. He must have an ulterior motive and that scares you the most. You have no idea what it could be. </p><p>He doesn’t even look at you once the fighting starts, jarring clangs of metal on metal drawing your attention. From his shoulder you can see through most of the helms and watch as Megatron and Skywarp go toe to toe. Megatron seems to be holding back at first, taunting the other and allowing him to go on the offense. He seems to be trying to get an idea of his skill, and his battle tactics, but even you can tell it’s lacking. Skywarp can’t land a single blow on Megatron that isn’t blocked or parried, resulting in leaving himself open to attack. Every failure makes Megatron a little more fierce, more on the offense and landing hits of his own. </p><p>It’s clear Skywarp made a mistake starting this battle. Megatron is too strong and too calculated for him to beat. Skywarp is slowing down and Megatron isn’t letting up, his ferocity bleeding through with each successful move. Then they’re on the ground and Skywarp is just trying to block the flurry of punches from Megatron. </p><p>Why does he have to look so utterly hot when he’s fighting? You don’t know if every fight goes this way, but he looks outright beautiful. Every move is done with grace and ease. You know he must weigh several tons but he can maneuver like it’s nothing. You’re just as jealous as you are turned on. You can admire his skill as a warrior and think it makes him incredibly sexy at the same time, right? </p><p>Then you outright die when Megatron somehow finds you among the crowd and makes eye contact. Your body freezes in place, its reaction completely automatic. You realize with horror he must be able to recognize your particular scent without any effort by now. Only when he looks away and stands up do you breathe again, though you’re panting, and your heart has skipped up into your throat. Even Thundercracker gives you a look, but you clear your throat and avoid eye contact at all costs. You pray they don’t all have the same sense of smell, or at the very least can’t identify it. </p><p>“You are not ready.” Megatron interrupts your thoughts, and you see he’s standing over a worn out Skywarp, though the damage appears to be minor. His statement is final and no one argues. The crowd begins to disperse since the fight is over, and you actually feel bad for Skywarp being left unceremoniously on the training room floor like that. It was a clear loss, and he didn’t get the job. You wonder if his ego will ever recover. </p><p>You don’t have much time to wonder though, because Megatron stalks toward you like the predator he is, his optics alight with wild energy. You shiver at the thought of him going full animal on you. As soon as he’s close enough, he plucks you from Thundercracker’s shoulder, not bothering to give the mech even a look, which he doesn’t appreciate. </p><p>“I will not make the same mistakes Shockwave did.” He assures, and you wonder if this isn’t the first time he’s been ignored like this. Megatron snarls and gets up in Thundercracker’s face. </p><p>“Shockwave’s biggest mistake was not obeying me. I suggest you keep that in mind.” </p><p>With that he takes you away, not another word said between them, or to any other mech in fact. Megatron makes a swift exit and walks faster than usual down the hallways. You look up from his servo. </p><p>“Are you ok?” You ask, pressing a hand to one of his fingers. He lets out a hot, heavy ex-vent and you begin to understand what’s happening. It’s confirmed by his next command. </p><p>“Undress.” </p><p>His voice does all sorts of things to you, especially when he uses that impatient, husky tone. You have to swallow and try to compose yourself, eager to do as he asked. You shift in his palm to slip your underwear off first, and notice you’re already wet. It isn’t exactly a shock considering how much you enjoyed watching him fight, even if it wasn’t that intense. The moment you set your lacy panties aside Megatron stops in his tracks and takes a deep breath, breathing you in. His optics are on you and you blush even deeper, shoving down your self consciousness before you open your legs for him to see all of you. </p><p>The last of his resolve falls away, leaving him raw and feral. You’re nearly dropped on the floor in his effort to set you down, and before you can even get your balance you’re swept off your feet again. Megatron is already in his smaller form and his mouth is on yours before you can even gasp, kissing you so hard it hurts. He’s lifted you so your legs are wrapped around his waist, his servos firmly gripping your ass which he’s always happy to pay special attention to. Then you feel cold on your back and realize you’re pinned against the wall. </p><p>In the hallway. Where anyone could come walking through. Your heart pounds in your chest but you can’t even consider telling him to stop. Not that you could get your complaint out anyway with your lips locked and his tongue in your mouth. You just moan and wrap your arms around him, purposely grinding your hips against his. He pulls away to growl and bite your lip, tugging on it as you let out a breathy moan. </p><p>He’s not just hungry for you, he’s starving. He doesn’t even bother to rip your bra off, and instead pulls the thin fabric down to expose your chest to him. He lifts you up a little higher so he can dip down and take your breast into his mouth, sucking at the skin and swirling his tongue around your nipple. You gasp and claw at his back, letting your nails find a seam and dig into it. You feel the rumble through his chest, and squeal when his teeth nibble at your skin. It’s so sensitive he doesn’t need to try very hard to elicit a response, and you don’t hold back. Which is exactly why he can’t either. </p><p>You hear a soft hiss that isn’t from Megatron’s mouth, and then feel his spike prodding at you. Your automatic reaction is to tense up, but he’s considerate enough to move his mouth to your neck and give it a tender kiss. It reminds you to calm down and allow him in. You take a deep breath and force your muscles to relax, letting Megatron push his way inside you. All the way, in one fluid stroke. You scream, but it fades into a series of moans within a heartbeat. You’re still sore from yesterday, but you’re also still stretched out for him, and your body wraps around his length like it was made for him. </p><p>He grunts, and all tenderness is lost as he succumbs fully to his need. He thrusts into you hard and fast, a pace no mere man could achieve or sustain, but he can. He pounds you into the wall and you can hardly breathe. It feels like he’s punching all the way up into your chest and it leaves your lungs weak, capable only of gasps and moans. Almost as embarrassingly quick as last time, you cum without warning and let out a cry, your body tightening around him so hard you hear him snarl and groan. He’s forced to slow down or tear you apart. </p><p>Yet all you have to do is whimper his name into his audial receptors, and his last few thrusts shudder. You feel a rush of power and pride mix with your ecstasy, and you’re positive you’ve never felt better. You can make this beast overload just by saying his name the right way. It’s a power you’ll have to abuse sometime. Not now though, because you’re too focused on the slopping noise as his cum fills you to the brim and then drips to the floor. </p><p>Megatron has stopped to vent heavily, his fans roaring to keep him from overheating. You reach down between you and rub at the base of his spike, making him shudder and give you a look. You meet his optics, then stroke yourself until your fingers are coated in his cum. Never once breaking eye contact, you bring your fingers up to your lips and lick them off like it’s the best treat in the world. In truth it doesn’t even taste that bad, so you don’t mind. Your moan is genuine as you slip two fingers into your mouth, then pull them out with an audible pop. Megatron’s gaze is hot and you can tell he’s enjoying the show. </p><p>“Allow me to clean you off, master.” You whisper, unhooking your body from his so he can let you go. He considers it for a split second, then pulls out and sets you down. You sink to your knees, but stay as upright as you can because of his height. He stands before you and stares down expectantly. You swallow just at the sight, his dominance and intimidation all the more obvious right now. You can’t wait to make him come undone again. </p><p>You don’t wait for his prompting to begin and drag your tongue over his length, paying attention to the thick ring of cum gathered near the base. For the first time you get a good look at his spike up close. It very much resembles what a human man would have, even with a set of balls underneath you’d not noticed before. You lap at them for good measure and then return to his tip. It’s thick, but rather pointed. You swirl your tongue around it and then begin to take him into your mouth. It’s not too hard at first, but your jaw begins to stretch painfully the further down you go. Honestly you’re shocked it was ever inside you, because the underside bulges toward the base and you don’t think you can get it into your mouth. </p><p>Megatron reminds you to try by putting his servo in your hair. He grips the strands in his fist and keeps you in place. You thought you were doing pretty good getting the first bit past your gag reflex without dying, but it isn’t enough for him. You swallow around him and gag, but that just makes him purr. You close your eyes and feel tears drip down your cheeks before you push further, needing to make an attempt before you pass out. After you manage to take another couple inches, Megatron yanks at your hair to pull you off, choking and sputtering as you gasp for breath. You aren’t giving up though, and as soon as you can you’re back on him, gagging as you take him down into your throat. Your hands grip his hips and he ruins you when he bucks into your mouth and you force down the first half of the bulge. Any more and your jaw will break, which thankfully he seems to realize. His servo is in control of your head, and he aides you by pulling out and thrusting back in slowly, only to the point you can take. </p><p>You look up at him, tears in your eyes, and feel a warmth of what you guess is precum drip down your throat. You swallow several times and he groans. Suddenly both his servos are on your head and he holds you in place while he fucks your face. The noises are equally as embarrassing as your position, as you’re constantly choking over and over again, trying to find a place for your tongue and avoid biting him, though you doubt he would even notice. It’s all you can do to hold on and keep your jaw slack, letting him use your face as he sees fit. His optics are unfocused and all his attention is on the feeling of your mouth around him. Then you start moaning, and the vibrations against his spike makes him hiss. A moment later and his rapid thrusts become more erratic, and he shoves as deep as physically possible to deposit all of his cum down your throat. You feel it fill your mouth and drip out, though Megatron pulls out before you suffocate. You spend a moment swallowing as much of it down as you can, then lick everything off your lips and chin. </p><p>Like the good pet you are, you again drag your tongue down his length, from tip to base, lapping up every missed drop. You feel him shiver and his spike throbs under your lips. </p><p>“All hail lord Megatron.” You say as you kneel and look up to him, then open your mouth and display it’s full of his silvery liquid. To your utmost surprise and pleasure, a second small climax washes through him, prompting a thread of cum to land on your face and chest. You just begin licking it off, unbothered by the beautiful silver shimmer it leaves on your skin. </p><p>Megatron then leans down and pushes you back to the floor so he can lay overtop of you. You don’t mind, simply running your fingers over his metal and appreciating the heat you feel on him. He gives you a deep, passionate kiss and you wrap your legs around him, but his servos pry them off. </p><p>“You owe me a taste,” he states, and you realize what he means when he trails his kisses down your body. He stops between your legs and parts them wide. You love the way he pauses to kiss at the inside of your thighs, and lick at the scratches his touch left yesterday. You’re already whimpering and he’s barely done anything, but that just pleases him more. </p><p>“Eager for me I see.” He says as he stares down between your legs, and you know he’s right. You can feel the wetness seeping out and onto the floor, causing a chill his hot tongue is sure to correct. You just nod, panting as you watch him sink further. His first lick is far from hesitant. He slips his tongue between your folds and slides up, flicking your clit and making you yelp. Your hands go to his servos on your hips, desperate for something to touch or grip to keep you grounded. </p><p>“Make all the noise you like, pet.” He purrs, keeping your shaking body still with ease. You have no choice but to obey, considering he shoves his thick tongue inside you. Your moan is pathetic, but he feels so good you can’t help yourself. There’s a dexterity his tongue has that his spike doesn’t which gives it a pleasing sensation all its own. He’s capable of finding those little spots which make your toes curl and your skin tingle. You moan his name and then feel, with so much surprise you think you must be imagining it, his servo takes yours and laces your fingers. You squeeze as he twists his tongue around inside you, then pulls out again to lick more at your folds, and even your damp thighs. </p><p>As is typical for him, he can’t resist a few love bites, barely breaking the skin of your thigh with his teeth before licking at the blood and moving to another spot. He compensates for the pain quickly though, because then his tongue is expertly flicking at your clit. He’s a quick learner it seems, because your pleased gasp and attempt to arch your back urges him on, and he presses his mouth over it to suck at the bundle of nerves. </p><p>As if that wasn’t enough to make you scream (which it is, and you do) he moves his other servo away from your hip to slide two sharp fingers inside you. It’s dangerous, you both know it is, especially with your body’s need to jerk and shake, but you’re both too stupid and turned on to care. You trust him not to slice you open of his own volition and that’s enough for you. Nothing hurts even as he starts pumping the fingers, curling them carefully around your insides as his assault on your clit continues. </p><p>You can’t take any more. “I’m- I’m so close! Don’t stop- please!” You beg, lifting your hips just slightly as your head tilts back and your eyes clamp shut. Your climax hits you like a ton of bricks and you groan and shake, your voice so loud it echoes off the walls. You still feel Megatron at you, but his fingers are gone and he’s lapping at every inch of you. Your other hand goes to the back of his head and you pet him weakly, still dazed and moaning. You’re officially addicted to him and you never want to let go. </p><p>Finally the aftershocks stop as he moves his face and lifts his body to hover over yours again. He examines you, half lidded and lost in pleasure, and smirks. You’ve earned a kiss it seems, because he leans down and gives you a tender one that lasts longer than usual. It’s still not enough though, you’re wanting more when he pulls away and you whine, your arm swiftly wrapping around his neck to keep him close. </p><p>“I cannot stay in this form for long, remember?” He almost chides and you pout. </p><p>“I don’t want you to go yet.” You mutter. </p><p>“What if someone were to come down the hall, hm?” He reminds you, but you’ve long since stopped caring. </p><p>“Then maybe they’d finally believe you don’t want me dead. By the looks of it, riding your spike in front of everyone is what it’s going to take.” </p><p>“That can be arranged.” He hums and leans in to kiss at your jaw. You let out a breathy laugh, then tug him up for a deep, passionate, but short kiss. </p><p>“If you promise me a date, I’ll let you go.” You whisper to him, as if you actually have any bargaining power here. You both pretend you do. </p><p>“A date?” He muses, kissing the corner of your lips. “Is that not part of your human courting?” </p><p>Your mind flashes back to the conversation you had with Knockout, and you try your best to stifle your nerves and excitement and play it cool. </p><p>You nod and brush your fingers over his cheek. “It is.” You confirm. The silence that follows is smothering and seems to last for ages, but you suspect he can sense your reaction and is doing it on purpose. Your pounding heart is a dead giveaway. </p><p>“Very well. We will visit earth this evening and you can direct me as to how this ‘date’ goes.” </p><p>You just scored a motherfucking date with a hot ass boss bot.</p>
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<a name="section0017"><h2>17. First Date</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hfhdjdhdh I feel like this doesn’t come across as romantic as I wanted but I hope y’all will stick it out ahahaaa</p><p>At the very least it’s cute so enjoy not-angst 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The instant Megatron lets you up and goes back to his default form, you dress yourself and part ways. He goes off to finish whatever it is the boss does for legitimate work when you aren’t distracting him. You sprint the other way, minding the throb between your legs, and go directly for Knockout’s lab. Well, semi-directly because you get lost for a hot second, but you manage to find your way without any help. That’s a skill you could add to your resume if you ever needed one again. <i>Proficiency in navigating creepy as fuck alien ships that label exactly ZERO of their doors-</i></p><p>“Knockout!” you yell at his door, banging your fist on the metal with a barely audible thud. “I need your help, like, right now!” </p><p>The door slides open and Knockout sinks into a squat, eying you with concern, and more than a little suspicion given your outfit. “What is it? Megs finally break your pelvis?” </p><p>You scoff and roll your eyes, walking through his legs into the room. “No, dickbag, we have a date and I have no decent outfits-“ You stop in your tracks when you see Breakdown reclined in a chair beside the examination table. There are several drinks on the table, all of which are a beautiful, bright magenta. You tilt your head and Breakdown gives you a nod. </p><p>“Are you just coming to the realization you’re a fashion disaster?” Knockout mocks as the door slips closed and he walks back over, a servo on his hip. </p><p>“First of all you’re an ass, second, did I interrupt a party or…?” </p><p>“If you can call two friends getting wasted a party, then yes.” Knockout answers as he flops into his seat beside Breakdown and takes a big sip of his drink. </p><p>It clicks when you remember a past conversation. “Oh, is that hi-grade then?” </p><p>“The finest on the ship.” Breakdown answers with a sedate smile. </p><p>“I’m not even going to mention why that’s a bad idea for the medic on board, since you already know and I’m not your mom. Have at ‘er, boys. After you help me.” </p><p>Knockout sighs and reaches over to a cupboard, the door of which slides up similar to the others in the ship. He reaches in and then pulls out a handful of… you don’t even know what they are, and sets them out of your sight on the table. You walk toward his seat and he picks you up to set you beside them, where you can now clearly see they’re outfits, hung up and guarded by plastic. They either came from some fancy dress shop or the dry cleaners. </p><p>“I figured you’d realize how shit your other clothes were eventually. You’re welcome, love.” He drolls, giving you a smug look. He’s distinctly hotter now and you take an embarrassingly long time to realize it’s because he’s drunk. </p><p>“Is he always like this when he drinks?” You ask Breakdown, who gives a warm chuckle. </p><p>“You’ve seen nothing yet. He’s playing nice.” </p><p>Knockout just hums and rests his head on his servo, watching as you start to go through the outfits. You already have an idea where you want to take him, so you don’t need anything like the first few cocktail dresses you take a pass on. </p><p>“Did you get anything I could actually… y’know, walk around in?” You ask with a huff and a pointed look. </p><p>“Why be comfortable when you can be hot? It’s not like you dress up all the time, doll.” </p><p>“I know, but I can’t just have Megatron carry me everywhere! It’s a date. We’re going to do things.” </p><p>“Do you want him to rip your clothes off you by the end? Then give him some eye candy. Let him stew on it.” </p><p>When did Knockout get good at this? You’re honestly a little afraid of this power. You blush a little and pout. Though you are intrigued when you find an outfit that doesn’t look quite as fancy. You open it up and what you think is a short black skirt with lace on the hem is actually a pair of shorts. You could make that work. Oh… it’s a jumpsuit. The bottoms are actually attached to the top, which has sheer lace across the chest and a deep v-cut to the sternum. Your bra would definitely show through and you kinda like the thought. You stand and take it out, then hold it up to yourself to gauge the size. </p><p>Knockout whistles. “See? A huge improvement already. Put it on.” </p><p>You nibble at your lip, but shimmy it on anyway. It’s a little tight but by Primus <i>it fits.</i> You actually laugh. </p><p>“Knockout you beautiful, clever fuck. What would I do without you?” </p><p>“Oh I’m not done yet, dearie. I have another little gift for you.” </p><p>You blink. “Oh?” </p><p>Then Knockout hands you a human-sized cylinder with a distinct pink glow. You eye him and take it. </p><p>“And what am I to do with this?” </p><p>“Give it to Megatron, obviously. He likes his drink.” </p><p>You purse your lips and hum, rolling it in your palm. “Would it get him drunk?” </p><p>“In his default form? No. In his holoform though… maybe.” He shrugs. </p><p>“Well I’ll take it. Thanks, guys.” You nod to him and then at Breakdown, who raises his glass to you. </p><p>You get a hand off the table and then head back to Megatron’s room where you sit and wait, biting nervously at your nails as you contemplate your decision. What if there’s too many people? What if he hates it? It’s so utterly human and probably stupid he very well could. You’re just left to sit and wait, letting the hours tick by. </p><p>“Are you ready?” His voice asks, pulling you from your thoughts to smile up at him. You get up from your spot by his door and stretch, a little stiff from being on the floor so long. </p><p>“Ready as I’ll ever be. How about you? Any second thoughts?” You ask as you climb into his outstretched servo, praying you didn’t just give him an out to cancel on you. </p><p>“Perhaps,” he purrs and you know it’s just to tease you. “That depends on where you plan to take me.” </p><p>You smirk as he walks you into his room and to the ground bridge. He looks to you for direction. </p><p>“It’s called Westview, in California. Can you like… look it up?” </p><p>“I can.” And he does, pushing more symbols until the old familiar city comes up. </p><p>“Yep. That’s where we’re going.” </p><p>He doesn’t question you and you both head through the buzzing vortex, though you’re a little disoriented when you arrive on the other side, since you land on the ground. Your head spins and you lean into Megatron, who is back to his human form and able to cradle you against his side. You nuzzle into him and feel his hand tangle in your hair. </p><p>“Our time is limited,” he reminds you since you aren’t moving. You grumble because you really don’t want to pull away from his strong, and actually warm body. It takes a great deal of self control to do so, but you do, only to take his hand and pull him along. The best part is that his fingers curl around yours and he follows. </p><p>“Do you know where you’re going?” He asks, and you can hear the raised brow without even looking at him. </p><p>You raise your free hand and point at the lights in the distance. “One of the few places you can be weird and not stand out.” </p><p>Megatron doesn’t know what that means and you’re delighted that it can be a complete shock. Which it is, especially as you draw closer and the sounds start up. You can hear music and screaming, dings and clangs of games, and the whirl of machinery. </p><p>“What is this place?” He asks as you come up to the perimeter and you can see people coming and going. It’s a fairly small town so it isn’t too crowded. </p><p>“Uh… it has a few different names. A fair, carnival, amusement park. They probably have different meanings but I don’t know what this one counts as.” </p><p>You look up and see his eyes are narrowed, a critical gleam making them just as sharp in this form as his other. </p><p>“I know there will be lots of people, so I’m sorry for the fact you’re gonna be forced to mingle, but I hope you’ll have fun anyway.” You’re entirely genuine, a warm smile on your lips as he looks down to you. </p><p>“We will see.” Is all he says, but his thumb grazing over the back of your hand gives you courage. You both venture forth, you paying for tickets at the door and then guiding him in. It’s just as you remembered, except a few rides have been replaced, and some small booths have gotten paint jobs in the recent years. The smell is identical though, that of mini donuts, pretzels, and the last hints of sunscreen applied before the sun started to set. </p><p>“I used to come here when I was younger.” You admit, eying the ferris wheel that dominates the center of the grounds. “We moved around a lot, so every chance I got I was here. I probably kept them in business all by myself.” You let out a soft laugh, feeling Megatron’s eyes on you but not wanting to meet them. </p><p>“I’m… gonna go get some food,” you say as you catch the flashing sign of a food stand promising snacks sweet and salty alike. You let go of his hand, take two steps, then stop and turn. </p><p>“Almost forgot,” you give a breathy laugh, then hand over the canister to Megatron. He takes it and his expression turns to a frown. </p><p>“Where did you get this?” He asks, clearly accusatory but you don’t care. </p><p>You wink and already begin to turn away. “My secret,” is your only answer before you’re off to buy yourself the biggest wad of pink cotton candy they have. You have to wait in line a moment and look back to see Megatron sipping happily from the suspicious looking cylinder. The sight helps ease some of your nerves, along with the candy floss you immediately begin shoving into your mouth, definitely not stress eating, and even if you were you’ve totally earned it by now. </p><p>“I’m guessing I can’t really share this with you.” You say once you return to his side. The canister is gone by then, probably pressed into his subspace for storage after he finished it off. </p><p>“I cannot eat, if that’s what you mean.” You nod, and he dips down and gives you an unexpected and deep kiss, his tongue finding its way into your mouth and grazing your own. You just about drop your treat in surprise, but before you can throw caution to the wind and jump him right there, he pulls away. </p><p>“It is… sweet.” He hums. You can only nod and take another little bit of candy into your mouth, distracting from the taste of hi-grade lingering on your tongue from his. It isn’t sour like their energon seemed to you before, but more so bitter, though not in an unpleasant way. </p><p>“Why don’t we try a game?” You suggest. “Since I’m all sticky fingers now… do you wanna give it a go? I bet you’d be great at it.” It’s the truth, and you make it sound as genuine as you can. He gives you a look and you nod towards one off to your right. </p><p>“That one has guns. Kinda.” </p><p>He’s on board, you can tell by the faint traces of interest on his usual disgruntled features. You both walk toward it and you fish out a few dollars, stuffing the last of your cotton candy in your mouth. </p><p>“This one’s about accuracy. You use the water gun and the more water that hits the little sensor, the higher your post thing goes. First one to the top wins.” </p><p>You hand him one of the water guns and he gives you a disappointed look. “You call this a gun?” </p><p>You just laugh. “It’s for kids, babe. C’mon, show me how it’s done.” </p><p>Megatron lets out a sigh, but he readies himself and you feel positively giddy. The game’s bell rings to signal the game start. He’s impossibly good, just like you thought. Not ten seconds in and he’s already won. The bell goes again to voice victory and the guy running the game gives Megatron a look. </p><p>“Never seen anyone win that fast.” </p><p>“He’s a veteran.” You say, trying to explain why your not-boyfriend has the aim of a robot. The guy just nods. </p><p>“Ok well… you get one of the big prizes.” He says, pointing above him to the stuffed animals that are half the size of you. You look through the usual options, but then spot a T-Rex and pat Megatron’s arm. </p><p>“Oh you should get that one!” </p><p>He gives you a look, almost smirking. You have no clue why. </p><p>“What?” </p><p>“Mm… nothing. We will take the tyrannosaurus.” </p><p>The worker gets it down and hands it over, which you promptly take and snuggle into. It’s soft and squishy and you love it. You love even more the cute, smug look on Megatron’s face as you meet his eye. </p><p>“Thanks, handsome.” </p><p>“You are welcome. What next?” </p><p>“A ride of course!” You blurt excitedly and take his hand again, pulling him toward the nearest one, which happens to be one of the more intense rides around, since it straps you in and does a full three-sixty and leaves you hanging upside down in the air. </p><p>“And this will not kill you?” He asks with narrowed eyes up at the swinging machinery full of screaming adults, making his distrust very clear. </p><p>“Probably not.” You answer with a grin before he shoots you a pointed glare. You just laugh and try to pull him forward, but he stops dead in his tracks and you’re yanked back. You turn to him with wide eyes and see he’s swaying on his feet. </p><p>“Whoa, are you ok?” You ask, carefully guiding him over to a bench so he can sit. He rubs at his eyes and then gives a slow nod. </p><p>“The hi-grade is kicking in. I didn’t expect it to affect me, but I suppose with the small form…” </p><p>You bite your lip because this is exactly what you planned. Not gonna tell him that though. You set your dinosaur in his lap and lean in to kiss his forehead. </p><p>“Take a minute then. I’ll leave Terry the T-Rex here for company while I go on the ride.” </p><p>He gives another nod and you give his cheek a quick kiss before running off to snag one of the last seats on the ride, which has already started boarding the next batch of victims. You can see Megatron watching from your seat, and you give him a little wave before the cage closes and you’re strapped in. </p><p>One of the best parts about not caring if you die is the ability to let loose without worry. You squeal happily and let go of the handles as you fly around. Your insides do flip after flip but you enjoy every moment with reckless abandon. It’s even more fun than when you were a kid. </p><p>You’re a flushed, grinning mess when you come back out to Megatron, just a little wobbly on your feet yourself. You come over and lean on him, quickly noticing his form is far less tense and more laidback. Even his eyes seem less sharp, more warm than cutting. </p><p>“How’re you feeling?” You ask, running your fingers over his cheek. </p><p>“Inebriated.” He huffs, his tone even deeper than usual and it sends a slight shiver down your spine. You just nod. </p><p>“Are you ok to walk around?” </p><p>“Yes, I am fine.” He insists with a soft sigh, then stands up to hand Terry back to you. You hug him to your chest and look around, wondering what kind of ride Megatron could actually go on. Then your eyes find the ferris wheel. </p><p>“Then let’s get you on a ride.” You grin and walk him over. The line isn’t too long so the next time it stops you’re able to get a seat after you hand over your tickets. You usher Megatron in first, then settle in beside him and set Terry on the end. The employee running the ride comes over and latches the bar, then you’re both heading up into the air. The view is breathtaking, as you can see every inch of the fair grounds, every color and shape imaginable, and then the city beyond dotted with lights. </p><p>“This is supposed to be one of those romantic rides.” You state, looking over to Megatron who actually seems curious himself with the view, though it isn’t any higher than he would be in default form. </p><p>“Why is that?” He asks, looking down at you. </p><p>“Uh… the view, mostly. The fact you’re alone with your date, close together.” You shrug, then feel him move as his arm comes to wrap around you and pull you against his side. You nestle in like you belong there. </p><p>“Like this?” </p><p>“Mhm. Most of my friends had their first kiss up here.” You chuckle. </p><p>“And you?” </p><p>“Nah… I wasn’t really the uh… Dateable type when I was living here.” </p><p>“Good,” he purrs, his fingers tracing shapes on your upper arm. “You are mine alone.” He punctuates this statement by giving you a kiss, though you notice it’s… sloppier than usual, frighteningly human. You tug him in for more, which he indulges, deepening the kiss until you’re forced to pull away for air. You let out a breathy laugh and shake your head. </p><p>“Never thought I would get to do that.” </p><p>“You are fortunate.” He hums and you’re completely caught off guard by the look in his eyes. It isn’t just desire, though you’re pleased that’s there too. It’s something tender that changes his whole face and makes your heart ache. You allow yourself to think for a moment that it might actually be affection, as crazy as it sounds. </p><p>“Megatron, I have to ask you something-” you start, but then a loud squeaking from the ride turns both your heads. A pair a few seats down is rocking their cart and laughing. To your surprise, Megatron joins in by rocking your seat, and you grab onto the safety bar which is definitely not enough to keep you from falling out. </p><p>“What are you doing?” You ask with a nervous laugh as your own cart starts to rattle and squeal. </p><p>“Having fun.” Is his slightly terrifying response, but you can’t help how it makes your heart beat faster and your stomach flip in a way that sends all the good chemicals through your brain. </p><p>You laugh, cackle really as you look up and see the dusky sky spin and warp, as with the lights on either side of you. It’s dangerous, and you know you could fall, but you also feel safe with Megatron. You put all your faith in him and let him sway you both until you arrive back at the bottom, and an annoyed employee lets you out. They aren’t bold enough to give Megatron a dirty look though, since he looks like he could eat them, and they’d be right. </p><p>“You never informed me that humans find danger to be enjoyable.” He says as you walk back into the crowd, his arm around your waist. </p><p>“Not everyone does, but we exploit the fact that our bodies give us a rush to cope with near death experiences. Some people are legit addicted to it. For others we just go on a ride sometimes and that’s good enough.” </p><p>You feel him nuzzle into your hair as you come to a stop, and you melt a little. Then your eyes settle on your next destination. </p><p>“Oh, babe, we gotta do this. C’mere.” You excitedly tug him off to the side of the walkway, and push him into the little box. He’s large enough he fills it all on his own, but you settle onto his lap without hesitation, setting Terry on the floor for the moment. You feel his hands on your hips to keep you in place while you lean forward and put in a bill. </p><p>“What is this?” He asks as you press a few buttons, then glance over your shoulder at him. </p><p>“It’s a photo booth. Once it starts up it’ll take five or six pictures and then give us a little printout. Is that ok?” </p><p>He nods, though his brows are furrowed. </p><p>“What?” You pry. </p><p>“You would like a picture of us?” He asks, as if he can’t understand why. </p><p>“It’s my first real date with you, of course I want pictures. We’re sentimental, you know.” This seems to soothe some of his bewilderment and you smile and press the last button. “Ok get ready.” </p><p>You lean back into him and the first picture flashes, but then you look up and see Megatron’s expression isn’t exactly pleased. You fix that by putting your hand at the back of his neck and pulling him into a kiss, just as the second flash goes off. You break the kiss and smile up at him, and he actually smiles back at you. It’s the first real smile you’ve seen from him and your heart nearly bursts. Especially since it’s caught on camera as the next flash lights up you both. </p><p>Then his hands shift up your sides in just the right way, and you burst out laughing. </p><p>“M-Meg, that tickles,” you gasp, trying to push his hands away. He lets out a soft growl and refuses to move them. Another flash catches you in the middle of squealing, writhing laughter as Megatron takes full advantage of your stupid body. The best part is when you hear him laugh. Not a cackle, not a chuckle, nothing evil about it. It’s a simple, amused laugh at you losing your lungs because of his gentle touch in just the right places. The last picture is captured and the booth goes dark a final time, and Megatron finally has mercy and allows you to gasp for air. </p><p>“You… bastard…” you gasp as you look back at him and see his pleased grin. </p><p>“Your laugh is attractive.” He states in a shocking show of candor, but you figure if he actually is drunk, maybe his filter is gone. You honestly hope so because it would explain a lot and also be <i>awesome.</i></p><p>“Thank you, babe.” </p><p>“That is a… term of endearment, yes?” </p><p>“Yeah. There’s lots we use but… they’re kinda like a special name you use only for people you care about.” You clarify, not wanting him to think you’re actually calling him a child. He, amazingly, seems to understand. You lean forward again and take the pictures, which turned out so much better than you could’ve imagined. </p><p>“Are you pleased with the result?” He hums in your ear. You nod. </p><p>“They’re perfect.” You say as you turn back to him and put a hand on his cheek. His eyes close as he leans into it and you rub his skin with your thumb. “Thank you… for agreeing to come here. I know you’re not having as much fun as I am but it means a lot to have you here.” </p><p>“Do you assume I would stay were I not enjoying it?” He asks as his eyes open to give you a pointed look. </p><p>“I mean… I dunno.” You answer, suddenly unsure. </p><p>“I like to see you this way.” </p><p><i>Oh.</i> That’s way too sweet and you’re going to melt if he doesn’t cut it out. Your cheeks are already warm. </p><p>“Knowing I am the only one capable of making you feel such… joy.” </p><p>It would be so easy for this smug bastard to assume you’re happy because of the park itself, but no, he has to be completely right in saying it’s all his doing. The fair is great, but if you were here alone it would be nothing but depressing. </p><p>“Yeah, well… I could say the same to you.” You counter with a pout. After all, you did make him smile for a second there. </p><p>“That would also be accurate.”</p><p>“Wait, <i>what?</i>” He wasn’t supposed to agree, what the fuck do you do with that? </p><p>“I have not enjoyed myself in millenia. Not until you came to me. You are amusing.” </p><p>He could’ve said it in a less creepy way, but you know what he means and you’re actually ascending to a whole new plane out of elation. </p><p>“Are you fucking with me?” </p><p>“Must you ask that, little one?” </p><p>He’s nearly purring as he leans down and presses a soft kiss to your cheek. You’re pretty sure this can’t be real but <i>Primus</i> you really, really want it to be. You want to believe that you can somehow make him happy, and that this is more of a permanent arrangement. That is what you've been meaning to ask, but you almost don’t want to now. You’re terrified of what he might say, and just how easily he could rip your heart out with a few words you don’t want to hear. </p><p>“What’s wrong?” He asks, and you realize you’ve not only been quiet, but you’ve grown tense and worried. It’s impossible to hide from him. </p><p>“I… I have to ask you something, but I’m afraid of the answer.” You whisper honestly, not sure why you didn’t just try and lie your way out of it. </p><p>“Will waiting make it any easier?” </p><p>You look up at him with wide eyes, and all you can see is age old wisdom in his expression. It makes him all the more attractive. You shake your head no. </p><p>“Then ask.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Care</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>OOF, sorry for the two days off! I had a crazy busy weekend and didn’t want to rush out something last minute and have it be crap quality. </p>
<p>Thank you guys for reading! </p>
<p>Oh and vague warnings of... well, I hesitate to say noncon, but there’s a few kinda Yikes moments y’all should mentally prepare for</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You want to procrastinate this conversation like you have everything else in your life. You want to push your questions down and let them fester until they eat away at you and burst out like that scene from Alien. What’s happening now is almost <i>healthy</i> and you’re baffled by your own actions. Megatron actually seems to bring out the good in you, as somehow this behemoth warmonger is easier to open up to than anyone else you've had in your life. You look into his eyes and see warmth that radiates beyond the color and into his expression. He’s content waiting for the moment because he just gets to stare at you. And pet your hair, as he’s began to do to ease your stress. </p>
<p>“I need to know…” you start after several deep breaths, and then another as you clamp your eyes shut. “Humans, we really like labels. On anything and everything. We always wanna know where we stand and what’s going on. So I really… really have to know… what are we?” </p>
<p>You look back up into his eyes, your own wide and vulnerable, your brows knit painfully tight in fear of this conversation. Megatron stares and then tilts his head, his eyes narrowed in confusion. </p>
<p>“I don’t understand your question.” </p>
<p>“I mean, like, us as a… couple? I just, fuck this is hard to ask.” You let out a breath and then start to try and explain better, your frustration coming out via exuberant hand gestures. “Ok, so when two people like each other on earth, they start dating and then they’re boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever. But I don’t know if that applies to us even though we’re on a date, because… I guess because you’re not human, and because I’m just your pet, right? I’m only here to entertain you and then be tossed aside when I’m no good anymore. So what is this? What are we?” </p>
<p>His eyes have somehow narrowed further but you don’t feel threatened. He still holds you close, even though his hand has stopped to rest on your shoulder. </p>
<p>“The closest term we have to what you describe is a sparkmate. They are your closest companion, someone you share body and mind with. It is not inherently sexual, though it can be.” </p>
<p>You nod slowly, remembering Knockout had said the term when you asked him for advice on the subject. </p>
<p>“I would not describe us that way, but I have no intention to ‘toss you aside’. You will be mine for as long as you live. You are company, but only time will tell just how close we become.” </p>
<p>You take another deep breath and nod. “Ok so for me, I can think of it like… we’re getting to know each other, like dating, and sparkmates are more like marriage.” </p>
<p>“That would not be inaccurate.” </p>
<p>You’re quiet for several beats, nibbling on your lip until Megatron’s finger comes up to brush along it and distract you. </p>
<p>“Can I say you’re my boyfriend? Just- just to like, humans… and for me, to think of you like that…?” </p>
<p>Your heart is ready to burst as you watch him tilt his head and hum, then remove his finger grazing your skin so he can place a slow kiss to your lips. Your hand moves to the side of his face, and all too soon he pulls away. </p>
<p>“I suppose I could allow that,” he whispers, and you feel his breath on your lips. You light up and turn completely so you’re straddling him, and can pepper kisses all over his cheek and down his neck. </p>
<p>It’s a silly set of terms really, boyfriend and girlfriend, but that doesn’t stop you from feeling elated that you have such a relationship with Megatron. Even if he’s only agreeing for your sake, that’s more than enough. You’re a pair now, and you feel wanted. </p>
<p>“Be careful, little one,” he purrs into your ear as you wrap your arms around him, determined to keep him close. </p>
<p>“Why?” You ask with a kiss to his jaw. He lets his hands slip down your form until he can grope at you and pull your waist into him. Only when you grind against him do you realize his answer, as you feel a hardness between his legs pulling at his pants. </p>
<p>“Oh, I see,” you say in a sultry tone that you never thought yourself capable of. “You know I’m not the cautious type.” </p>
<p>Proving your point, you drag your tongue up his neck and feel his body shiver under you. Finally you have the upper hand, and you’d be a fool to let the opportunity pass by. You nip at his holoform and find it gives way just a little to satisfy your bite. Megatron growls in your ear, guttural and needy as his now-sharp nails dig into the thin fabric at your hips and you feel them poke at your skin. You just moan for him, right in his ear before you grind your hips as hard against him as you can. </p>
<p>“Let me take care of you,” you whisper as you feel his labored breaths hot on your neck. You pull away just enough to look at him and see the deep burgundy in his eyes, now glowing unnaturally in the dim booth. You stare and lick your lips, keeping eye contact as your hands lower and unbuckle his belt. Something about the sound it makes is so suggestive you shiver. The sight of your dark eyes and labored breathing is enough for Megatron to take his turn and bathe your skin in kisses, though it’s not long before he’s marking it with his teeth, renewing spots that haven’t even started to fade as well as making all new ones. You whimper, but refuse to relinquish the spot you have him in. </p>
<p>With his buckle undone and his pants loose, you caution a look down to see what his holoform has to offer you. To your surprise, it looks identical to his spike when in his smaller form. </p>
<p>“You didn’t think I’d make this easy, did you?” he says into your ear, his voice dark and almost threatening. You should’ve known he would never allow you to take something smaller, or even something human. This is Megatron’s spike and he’ll never allow for anything different. You can’t bring yourself to be disappointed. </p>
<p>“Easy? Oh, honey… no human dick could please me now. I can’t cum with anything less than this.” You wrap your fingers around his spike and squeeze. “I just wish I could fuck your default form.” </p>
<p>His form shivers again, this time enough you think you see it glitch. He gives you a warning growl and presses his sharp thumb to your lip. “Unless you want to try, I suggest you quit teasing and get on with it.” </p>
<p>You’re still not good at doing what you’re told, so you kiss the tip of his thumb and then take it into your mouth, sucking on it and moaning just as your fingers grip the tip of his spike and start stroking. His hips buck into your hand and he lets out a pitiful moan, his head dipping so you can feel each of his pants on your face. You doubt he can focus on much else, but you’ve gotten good at multitasking. Your tongue wraps around his thumb and sucks on his skin, allowing it to press at your soft flesh, while both your hands work over him and stroke every inch, steadily increasing the pressure. </p>
<p>He grows impatient. You feel a sharp pain on your tongue and whimper, feeling the tip of his thumb pierce your skin. Just as you begin to taste blood in your mouth, he removes his finger and his lips crash into yours. His tongue is hot as it presses through your lips and eagerly laps up every drop of blood you have to offer. He groans as he pulls away. You don’t expect his hand between your legs, so you let out a small yelp as you feel his fingers slip over you and send lightning up your back enough to make it arch. He seems to enjoy the look on your face that a mere graze elicited, but his true purpose is made clear as you feel a pressure, and then hear cloth tear. His claws made quick work of your shorts, which has now become a skirt. You don’t mind, especially when he takes mercy on your nice red underwear, and instead of tearing them away he slips them to the side. </p>
<p>You’re already soaked for him, and his fingers easily glide between your folds. Refusing to be the only one teased, you move your hands again, having been distracted enough to stop your thorough pumping. Both of you pant against each other and let out soft moans, Megatron stealing a kiss now and then just to taste the blood on your tongue. </p>
<p>You don’t wait for his form to glitch again before you shakily stop your teasing and push his hands away. He isn’t happy about it, but you give him a reassuring look and kiss his neck. </p>
<p>“I can’t wait anymore… I need you inside me…” you mewl, sitting up a little so you can take his tip and guide it down towards your slit. Despite your statement, you grind against him and allow him to become slick from tip to base. His hands return to your hips to make sure you don’t move away any further, and you feel a rumble reverberate like thunder through his chest as you tease at your entrance but don’t let him in. </p>
<p>“Get on with it,” he growls, nipping at your bottom lip. </p>
<p>“Tell me you want it too,” you demand boldly, meeting his gaze. </p>
<p>Instead of forcing his way inside, which he easily could, you see Megatron hiss through his teeth and close his eyes, taking a much needed calming breath. You know the hi-grade has made him softer, more malleable to these whims of yours. This is further proved when his eyes slowly open to meet yours again, and he lets out a shaky sigh. </p>
<p>“I want nothing more than to be inside your wet, hot cunt, and watch as I make you cum.” </p>
<p>You shake and he just about gets his wish right then. Reassured in a small way, you sink down on him in one rough movement. You don’t ease in and it makes you scream, but you bury your face in his chest to smother it. There you can feel his pulse, though it’s more likely the rapid thrum of his spark than a heartbeat, it still brings you enough pleasure to get over the stinging between your legs and begin to move. In this position you control the pace. You should be careful, but you act with as much reckless abandon as Megatron would were he in control. You instantly have a fast pace, lifting off him and slamming back down with a loud squelch and slap. Both his hands move to your rear and grip it, aiding in each thrust as he pulls you down onto him. </p>
<p>As you get closer, you lift your head up to see his face lost in bliss. He’s never looked more expressive or more beautiful and you’re swept up in it. Your lips find his and you give him a sloppy, passionate kiss while your hands grab at every inch of his human body. As you guessed, there are rippling muscles underneath his shirt as you slide your hands under and drag your fingers along each pronounced line. Your pace slows as you do, but you make up for it by rolling your hips and increasing the friction. </p>
<p>“You drive me crazy… with every body of yours…” you gasp between heavy pants and a deep moan as he hits just the right spot. </p>
<p>His jaw goes slack and you hear him let out a strained, animalistic noise. “Yet you need only one to please all of mine.” </p>
<p>You actually chuckle at that and brush your lips over his neck. “It’s a gift,” you whisper against him before you grip his shoulders and use them as leverage to slam down onto him. Your voices are lost in moans and you feel his hands move up your body, pressing you closer to him as you both grow nearer to climax. By now the booth smells utterly of sex and you couldn’t love it more. </p>
<p>“Cum in me,” you breathe as you feel the ball of pleasure in your lower body begin to bloom. It explodes without warning, sending jolts of pleasure up through your limbs and blinding your mind to anything else. You feel nothing but his warmth as he slams into you a few last times, rougher now as your walls have a deathgrip on him. Then you’re yanked flush to his body as he shoves his entire length inside and cums with a roar and a body wracking climax. You’re both limp in the cloud of euphoria which hangs heavy on your minds, though reality comes bleeding back to your senses. You hear the sounds around you again, people walking by not five feet away and little more than a curtain keeping your filthy activity from their eyes. You’re lucky someone didn’t try to come in. </p>
<p>“Babe…” you sigh, lifting your head to press a wet kiss to his cheek. “We should get out of here before someone comes along…” </p>
<p>“Would you be embarrassed?” he asks, a dark lilt to his voice that gives you an aftershock of pleasure. You moan and roll your hips against him. </p>
<p>“Yes… but proud too,” you answer all too honestly. </p>
<p>“As you should,” he purrs, letting you know it was the right answer. You even feel his claws drag down your scalp and you let out a pleased moan. </p>
<p>“Really though… especially since you don’t have much time left, right?” He growls and you have your answer. Slowly you lift up off him and wiggle into the little bit of room you have to stand, your hands still using his shoulders to balance. His cum drips from you down your thighs, but you don’t care at the moment. You just sink to a squat and drag your hands down his chest, then lick him clean of every last drop of cum. He hums his approval, spreading his legs for you and his spike still erect for your mouth. It takes all your willpower not to get caught up in him again. </p>
<p>You stand and lick your lips. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom and clean up. I’ll meet you back at that bench outside, alright? Don’t forget Terry.” You kiss his cheek and slip out of the booth, wobbly on your feet but no more so than any of the drunks parading the grounds now that night has thoroughly set in. You make your way to the nearest women’s room and find a stall to clean yourself off in, then come out and go to the sink to fix your hair and wash your hands. </p>
<p>You don’t get the chance. A woman bursts from the stall beside you and as soon as her crazed eyes meet yours, you know you’re fucked. Before you can make a move or raise your voice she’s at your back and you feel a knife press to your neck. </p>
<p>“Don’t worry, sugar, I just want your money.” There’s an edge to her voice that makes your skin crawl. You can see her gaunt, scarred arm out of the corner of your eye and you assume she’s a drug addict looking for some easy cash. She’s probably high right now, you realize, as it would explain her wild eyes. Or she really is just batshit crazy. </p>
<p>“Oh, you smell good… like sex.” She leans in and takes a big whiff at your neck, then gives it a lick. You almost gag. “Someone had fun tonight. How ‘bout you help me have a little fun too, and hand over your wallet?” </p>
<p>Her voice is a honeyed purr, but you refuse to give in to her. “How about you fuck off and leave me alone?” You spit, and the blade digs deep enough into your throat to break the skin. Not that that’s anything new for you. You aren’t scared.</p>
<p>“No need to be nasty, kitten! I just want your money, but if I have to cut your pretty little throat to get it, I will.” The calm in her voice tells you she’s not bluffing. She’s out of her mind one way or another and you aren’t getting out of here without a fight. Yet you refuse to give up your wallet, even as she pads her hands over your body looking for it. </p>
<p>In a split second you twist, allowing the blade to slice your throat but only shallowly. You turn and headbutt the woman as hard as you can, your teeth bared and eager for a fight… one that never comes. There’s a strong hand on your shoulder that yanks you back so hard you nearly fall on your ass. Once the figure walks past you though, you realize it’s Megatron. He goes over to the woman, who’s already making her way back towards you with her knife drawn. </p>
<p>She’s nothing to Megatron. He doesn’t even bat an eye as he catches her wrist, and squeezes hard enough you hear bones crack. She screams and the knife clatters to the floor, and her to her knees. Megatron lets go only to kick her in the chest, and she’s knocked back so hard her head hits the floor with a sickening clack. He takes a languid step forward and you notice briefly that he’s wearing polished black shoes with a significant heel before said shoe is pressed slowly to the woman’s throat. She looks up at him, dazed, and you watch as his weight presses harder until she chokes and gurgles trying to catch her breath. You stare in subdued shock as her dirty, jagged nails scratch at his foot trying to push it away. </p>
<p>He lifts his sole only to flick it into her face, and you hear a crack and blood sprays across the grimy floor. Her nose is broken and dripping blood across her face, but Megatron has no sympathy for the injury he’s caused. The woman groans as he returns his boot to the side of her head and presses her into the floor. </p>
<p>“Disgusting.” </p>
<p>His tone sends a shiver down your spine and fear into your heart. You’ve never heard him sound that way before. He sounds like you always thought he would; cruel, powerful, apathetic, and worst of all- he truly means his word. This is how he sees humans. Vile little creatures to keep under his foot. You can’t breathe out a single word but you manage to move even though your feet feel like lead. </p>
<p>You come up behind Megatron and set your hands on his back, then press your forehead between his shoulder blades. He’s tense, you can feel it under your touch and in the way he moves. You tug at him and it’s likely the only thing right then that could make him move away and look at you. Your eyes land on his chest and you don’t raise them, even when he tilts your head up to examine the long slice along your throat and the bloody choker it creates down to your chest. </p>
<p>“Please don’t kill her,” you finally manage to say as you find the courage to meet his eye. </p>
<p>“Why shouldn’t I?” he counters, his voice still icy. She’s an insect to him, her death means nothing. </p>
<p>“All she wanted was money.” </p>
<p>“And yet she felt the need to attack you.”</p>
<p>“Because I wouldn’t give it to her!” you insist, finding your voice only so you can spare this woman. The last thing you want is her blood on your hands. </p>
<p>Megatron’s eyes flash and you shrink back, but his hand finds your chin and grabs it to keep you in place. “Why not?” </p>
<p>You’re almost trembling. Not out of fear he’ll harm you, but that your true answer will disappoint him. “I just wouldn’t.” Your answer isn’t good enough and he growls. </p>
<p>“Why?” It’s a command this time. You swallow, trying to clear the constricting of your throat. </p>
<p>“It’s… an old habit.” </p>
<p>He stares at you for a long moment, and your embarrassment clues him in. You hate that he’s clever enough to put it together. </p>
<p>“You wanted to risk your life?” </p>
<p>You take a shaky breath. “No- I mean, I’m sorry. I should’ve just given her my wallet but I didn’t think it through-” </p>
<p>“She could have killed you.” Now that ice is directed at you, a cold rage that raises the hair at the back of your neck. </p>
<p>You nod. “I know… I just wasn’t afraid.” </p>
<p>“I do not care if you’re afraid or not. You belong to <b>me.</b> It is not your life to risk. You will not put it in jeopardy voluntarily again. Do you understand?”</p>
<p>You nod again. </p>
<p>“Say it.” He growls it like a threat and his grip on your jaw tightens. </p>
<p>“Yes. I understand.” </p>
<p>He tears his hand from you and turns, giving a graceful kick to the woman still laying on the floor. “You are fortunate. Any other day and I would have killed you,” he says before he grabs you by the back of the neck and pulls you quickly from the bathroom. </p>
<p>“We’re leaving,” he snarls low enough not to catch anyone’s attention, but more than enough for you to hear. </p>
<p>You don’t argue. You keep close to his side, and his hand moves to your shoulder once you’re in a more open area, but he doesn’t let you go and his grip is tight. You wonder if he’s just being possessive, or if he actually is concerned for your wellbeing. </p>
<p>Once you’ve exited the fair grounds and made your way back toward where your ground bridge will take you home, Megatron lets go and allows you to walk beside him, though his pace is too quick. You grab his hand and pull enough that he slows to a stop. </p>
<p>“You’re walking too fast. I’m still sore.” You admit this almost with shame, thinking back to how things were before you screwed up. </p>
<p>“Wait here,” he says as he continues walking further down the abandoned little dirt road. You hear a familiar noise and see him in all his usual glory. It’s nice to see really, you actually miss the sharp bits of his face and the sound his mechanical body makes as it moves. They all comfort you more than you can begin to understand. </p>
<p>Megatron kneels in front of you and drops his servo, which you climb into. Instantly you wrap your arms around one of his fingers and nuzzle into the metal, resisting the urge to cry. </p>
<p>“What is wrong?” He asks, his tone somewhere between annoyed and genuinely confused. </p>
<p>You sniffle. “I’m just… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin our night, I was stupid and I made a mistake. Will you forgive me? Please?” You look up to his shining optics and watch as they narrow and widen like the apertures they are. </p>
<p>“Yes, if it never happens again,” he says after a long time of thinking, though you can still hear the clear notes of warning in his voice. You don’t want to challenge it. </p>
<p>“It won’t. I promise I’ll be more careful. It’ll just… take some getting used to.” </p>
<p>His finger raises and gingerly brushes a tear from your cheek you hadn’t even felt. You barely have time to nuzzle into him before you both hear a loud bang, and he’s in fight mode quicker than you can register what’s happening. You’re on his shoulder, tucked safely near his helm, and he’s on the lookout for threats. You pat his helm slowly and when he glances at you, you point to the sky. Another bang goes off, but this time you see it’s cause. </p>
<p>Above the fairground, above the lights and rides and against the canvas of a night sky, you both see a firework go off. It explodes into red light, then shimmers, and disappears into nothing but a dull puff of smoke, hardly seen before another bright green one takes its place. You smile and stand up, watching a few more before Megatron speaks. </p>
<p>“What are those?”</p>
<p>“Explosions, made for entertainment or celebration. We find them pretty. Most do. I love them.” You stare with the utmost fondness and glee until you feel his helm move beside you and notice the red glow of his optics. Your smile refuses to falter even under scrutiny. </p>
<p>“Why do you love them?” </p>
<p>“Because they’re beautiful. The colors, the sparkle, even the loud pop… they’re like stars, but small enough for us to handle. It’s amazing.” </p>
<p>He says nothing in return and you look back to watch the display. It doesn’t last long, fifteen minutes maybe, but you enjoy every second of it. Especially given your first class view from Megatron’s shoulder. Once it’s clear they’re over, he turns and keeps walking. You kiss the side of his helm before you sit down again. </p>
<p>“Thank you… for all you did tonight. For agreeing to come out with me. Everything.” Your voice is soft, but you try to convey meaning into every word. </p>
<p>He looks at you and you could cry with relief as soon as you see his optics. They’re warm again. The ice has melted away and you can feel they’re warm and loving and you want nothing more than to bask under their glow and never see them any other way again. </p>
<p>“I enjoyed it.” His voice is so soft you think he intentionally wanted you to miss it, but you don’t. You catch his words and hold onto them like a precious gift. </p>
<p>“Will you go out with me again? I promise no humans next time.” </p>
<p>There’s a rumble in his chest, then he gives a curt nod. You lean in and kiss his jaw, then near his audial receptors. </p>
<p>“Thank you.” </p>
<p>It’s all that needs to be said before the ground bridge appears and you leave the humid chill of night to enter the relentless cold of the ship. It strikes you just how quiet everything is once you’re through and the ground bridge is gone. The hum of the ship is still there, but after the constant noise of people and music, a dull thrum is nothing. </p>
<p>Megatron walks in and sets you upon your spot on his berth. You feel just how tired your body is and sit. You watch, somewhat confused, as Megatron kneels beside the berth and pulls tiny human medical supplies from his subspace. His talon tilts your head up and you keep it there while he cleans the wound at your neck. </p>
<p>“Where did you get these?” you ask softly, watching with fascination as his giant servos handle the little materials with ease. </p>
<p>“Knockout.” </p>
<p>“Why?” </p>
<p>He gives you a look. “For instances such as these.” </p>
<p>“But you could’ve just dropped me with Knockout and let him do it.” </p>
<p>He grumbles and you can tell he doesn’t want to answer, but does anyway. “He will not always be available, and you insist on injuring yourself every cycle.” He’s irritated, but you just find yourself smiling. You take his hand and kiss the cold metal before he can pull a bloodied bandage away. </p>
<p>“If you keep being so sweet, I might just fall in love with you.” You say it like a playful taunt, still pressing his finger to your cheek. </p>
<p>He lets out a rumble. “And if that is my goal?” </p>
<p>Your eyes flick up to meet his, wide and warm as you catch his gaze. Is he being playful, or does he mean it? You can’t tell and it scares and excites you all at once.  </p>
<p>“Then I would say keep doing what you’re doing, because it works.” You hide your blush by giving the tip of his free fingers kisses, but then he pulls away. The bloodied bandage disappears, and from within his subspace he pulls out Terry. You grin. </p>
<p>“I wasn’t sure you remembered,” you admit, taking hold of the offered stuffy and clutching it to your chest. </p>
<p>“I am not human. I do not forget.” </p>
<p>You laugh. “That sounds more like a threat than I think you realize.” Your face buries into the soft fur on Terry’s head and you feel Megatron move some of your hair aside before he stands. You lift your head just to watch him go over to the terminal at the edge of his room and begin working. </p>
<p>You set Terry beside you and strip off your slightly ruined jumpsuit, then after a thoughtful pause, your underclothes as well. You let out a content sigh and hug Terry to you again, feeling the softness against your skin and gaining comfort from it. You watch Megatron work, each fluid movement of his servos as he navigates the screens. It’s entrancing and you find yourself growing sleepy, but you fight it off. </p>
<p>“Why are you not in sleep?” Megatron asks eventually and you smile. </p>
<p>“I’m waiting for you.” </p>
<p>His helm turns and he sees for the first time that you’ve changed, and lay there waiting for him. His optics travel your form, then meet yours again. </p>
<p>“I am busy.” </p>
<p>“Not too busy for recharge,” you counter and pat the berth beside you. He seems to consider your words for a long time, fighting with how drained he must feel and his need to take care of work. Eventually he lets out a hiss of an ex-vent and with one pressed button, all the screens dull and go to sleep. You fight back a grin as he comes to the opposite side of the berth and you feel a buzz as he moves into his spot behind you. </p>
<p>“You are proficient in keeping me from my duties,” he grumbles as his fingers curl around your body. You set your hand on the cool metal and hum. </p>
<p>“I’ll consider that a compliment. I’m just making sure you take care of yourself.” </p>
<p>“I functioned perfectly well before you.” </p>
<p>You snicker. “We’ll see about that.” You press your face into the warm, soft heated blanket beneath you and allow sleep to fall over you like a curtain.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. If You Could Sleep Forever</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Super short chapter, sorry y’all! Things are about to get very interesting though so I’m going to take a bit more time writing it out. </p><p>Also uh... I got a small commission for a certain Megs scene from this here fic &gt;.&gt;’  here’s the link for those interested: https://twitter.com/LyndaxyArt/status/1369048622088687616?s=20</p><p>💜 thank you for reading!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sleep caresses your form, lifting you until you feel light as air and float above everything. Your worries, cares, fears; all of them are below you and out of sight. You stare into the foamy cream sky and glide your arms up, slicing through the air slowly. It’s smooth and soft against your skin, buttery as silk. You breathe in and it isn’t sweet like you expect, but rather fresh and natural. You turn to look beside you and see the cause is endless wildflowers growing over every inch of the rolling hills. White, blue, pink, all soft pastels that make up an indistinct but pleasing floral aroma. The gentle breeze makes them dance in unison and you feel the warm air hug your skin as it reaches you, carrying the scent of the sun. Once you reach down, your weight returns and you feel the ground beneath your fingers. Each blade of grass cushions your body and provides a comfortable bed for you to rest on. It really must be a dream, because you feel completely at peace, or what you imagine it would feel like. </p><p>A soft rumble carries through the ground and you look up again, hoping for rain. The clouds above you appear the same, causing you a slight frown. You sit up and look beyond the flowers to scan the horizon, expecting a storm there at least. </p><p>It wasn’t thunder. Sitting crouched on a nearby hilltop is Megatron. You let out a huff, but smile. Of course he would be in your dreams. It isn’t the first time. Eager to hold him, you stand and feel something brush against your legs. You look down and see yourself wrapped in a delicate sundress. The pink brings out the blush on your skin prompted by the warm guise of an unseen sun somewhere beyond the clouds. You press it down over your stomach and brush your hair back before you walk barefoot toward Megatron, who doesn’t seem to have noticed you. Better to keep it that way. </p><p>As you approach, you realize he’s the size of a man again, just as the last time you dreamt of him. The perfect size to hold and be held by. You come at him from behind, the flowers and warm earth softening your footsteps enough even he doesn’t hear you. When he’s within reach, you place your hands on his sharp metal shoulders and lean against him, finding his body exudes a welcoming warmth. He doesn’t seem surprised, but you should’ve guessed something formed by your subconscious would know your plans. You can’t even be disappointed when he develops a tender smile and directs it back at you. It warms you more thoroughly than the sun ever could, and your heart blooms under it. </p><p>You sink to your knees and wrap your arms around his neck, then nuzzle your face into him. </p><p>“I love being able to hold you,” you whisper. His servo comes up and you feel his fingers graze over your skin. You don’t expect him to respond, since he hasn’t spoken before, but you’re delighted when he does. </p><p>“I did not expect you to feel so nice.” </p><p>You grin and kiss his cheek before you sit and pull him back, allowing him to rest against you. His helm ends up in your lap, and you automatically begin to pet down what would be his scalp and jaw. He lets out a content sigh. </p><p>“You are so… soft,” he murmurs. </p><p>“I take it that’s a good thing?” You ask as your fingers move down to his neck and massage, pressing the sensitive spots between his plating. </p><p>“I have enjoyed few things more than your touch.” </p><p>You swallow and remind yourself it’s a dream, and he’s saying precisely what you want him to… but god does it feel good to hear it. </p><p>“I feel the same about you. How you can be gentle with me even though you’re so strong, I’ll never know.” </p><p>His servo takes one of your hands and brings it to his lips, allowing him to kiss each fingertip. “I could break you with ease, it’s true, but your fragile flesh has suffered enough.” He kisses down your arm and you can feel the ache in your once-severed muscle for a split second before his lips chase it away. </p><p>“Why are you so good to me?” You ask softly, knowing you pose the question to yourself. It causes him pause, and you run your fingers over the side of his helm. </p><p>“Because you are mine.”</p><p>“And why did you make me yours?” You insist, needing an answer even if it’s just the lie your subconscious makes up. Megatron sighs and leans into your touch. </p><p>“You are responsive. I have never known such a thing before.” </p><p>You tilt your head and gain a small smile. “Do you just mean my body?”</p><p>“No. You melt for me with only a look. I touch your skin and you smile. You trust me with your life without any fear. You are… brave, and fearless, and you want me in a way no one has before.” </p><p>It takes a moment for you to process all that. “I do. I want you in any way you’ll allow me… But I love to please you too. When you smile at me I find meaning in the world. In existing. I live for you.” </p><p>It isn’t healthy. You know it isn’t, depending on him so thoroughly… But that’s how it is, and you can’t bring yourself to care. If your feelings change eventually to something better, so be it. If not, you will live a happy life just the same. </p><p>“No one has looked at me the way you do,” he admits, and you gaze into his soft optics, noting they aren’t guarded like usual. “I inspire fear, respect, admiration, loyalty… Never have I incited love, nor lust. Not even before the war. Never with a human, who see only a monster.” </p><p>You pull his servo to your lips so you can kiss his palm. “Then they do not look hard enough. You are a king, a beast in all the right ways. And you are soft for me too, my love,” you tease, smirking against him as you give him a look. He scoffs, but you see a smile. </p><p>“My processor has glitched with my old age then.” </p><p>You chuckle. “Maybe. It’s about time you knew something other than conflict, no?” </p><p>He lets out a deep sigh. “I never wanted for anything else. I was content, or thought I was. You had to come and ruin everything,” he says with affection as his fingers brush your lips and you kiss them. “Now I want more than victory. I want you. Your body. This softness that poisons my thoughts and leaves me weak.” </p><p>“Is it such a bad thing to want more from your life?”</p><p>“It is for me.”</p><p>“I trust you can multitask,” you quip, feeling his talons graze your cheek. He actually lets out a breathy laugh. </p><p>“You are not wrong.” </p><p>“So do it all. Be with me. Lead. Fight and win your war. You have no reason to stop yourself.” </p><p>You don’t know why you’re arguing your point until you see him relent and right then everything is perfect. Beyond perfect. This is everything you want and more, it doesn’t matter if it’s only a dream. Here you can have a moment of true happiness and let it sustain you in the real world too. </p><p>“Tell me what you feel right now,” he asks, his voice so soft you feel your heart dance. </p><p>“Happy. Safe. Loved, even.”</p><p>“In love?” He probes. </p><p>You smile and lean in so you can give his chest a kiss. “Madly.” </p><p>With that one word he purrs and tugs at you. You comply and shift so you can lay down as well, your head resting on his sun-warmed chassis as his servo cradles the back of your head. You lay there for a moment, lost in bliss, but your mind is still flooding with questions. </p><p>“What about what you said before? That we wouldn’t be sparkmates?”</p><p>You feel him sigh. “I lied. I could not let you believe you had caught me so easily.”</p><p>“And yet?” You prompt with a smug grin you’re glad he can’t see. A noise reverberates through his body into your ear as he lets out a grumble. </p><p>“I knew we were bound since I awoke from stasis.” </p><p>You recall how he seemed to wake up just in time to save you, and it makes sense he would see some attachment by then. You couldn’t be more pleased if you tried. It doesn’t matter these are all the words your mind knows you want. You move his servo from your head to your chest, allowing him to trace the scars that exist even in your dream form. </p><p>“I knew since this. I’m yours and I always will be.” His fingers are soft against your skin, not showing any of the damage they’re so capable of. Even when they close around the back of your neck, you do no more than sigh and close your eyes. He’s gentle, merely there to touch your skin and feel your heartbeat under his sensitive metal. </p><p>“Would you still be mine if you knew all that I have done? All I am willing to do?” He questions, his tone more serious as his talons press into your skin. You nod without opening your eyes. </p><p>“I trust you. I know war doesn’t let you be… kind, or merciful to all. I can only judge by how you treat me, and except for that time you almost had me killed, you’ve been good.” </p><p>He growls and removes his servo, prompting you to open an eye to look at him. His face is contorted in a frown. “Do not remind me. I did what was necessary.” </p><p>You just nod and kiss his chassis. “I know. I don’t hold it against you or anything.” </p><p>“And if your world were to fall at my hand? Would you then?” </p><p>You frown and sit up so you can see his optics and meet his gaze as you speak. “I’m done dealing with ‘what ifs’. That’s all I ever thought about before. ‘What if they hate me’, ‘what if they’re better off without me’, ‘what if I died’, ‘what if you abandon me’. I’m not doing it anymore. Don’t make me.” </p><p>For once he’s the one who shrinks under your heated gaze. You hold nothing back and he softens. </p><p>“And if I lose you because of it?” </p><p>“Then that will be your choice.” You brush the side of his helm and sigh. He doesn’t look happy with it, but neither are you. You know where you stand, you always have, and you will never be the most important thing in his life. You can’t be when his world is at stake. </p><p>He says nothing else because there is nothing that can be said. You tell yourself you accept your place, even though it isn’t what you want. The selfish, needy part of you wants to be his world. To fill the hole in his heart he’s longing to fill. To help him stop running and fighting. On earth, he might find peace, as you have with him. </p><p>“Say it,” he commands, though his voice is soft. You stare into his optics which search yours. </p><p>“Say what?” </p><p>“How you feel.” </p><p>You try to keep your smile small by biting your cheek and nodding. You know what he wants, even if his manner of ‘asking’ is poor. </p><p>“I love you,” you whisper to him, watching with no small amount of adoration as his red optics flutter and glow in the sunlight. It’s beautiful, especially when he smiles. </p><p>“I love you,” you say again, shifting position so you can give him a real kiss. “I love you…” you punctuate with another kiss on his cheek, then repeat again. “I love you, you big nasty bitch.” </p><p>Megatron laughs, nearly cackles, and wraps his arms around you. You’re pulled into a hug which you return happily, nuzzling into his neck. “Bratty fleshbag,” he hisses, but nothing could disguise the affection in his tone. </p><p>“Well? Are you going to leave me hanging?” You ask eagerly at his audial receptor. </p><p>“What?” </p><p>“Tell me you love me too!” You state with a laugh. </p><p>“Mmm…” Oh he’s going to play it that way, is he? You can play dirty too. You hum against his metal before you find a soft spot and suddenly nip at his wires. He jumps, bucks, and hisses as he pushes you away. </p><p>“Fucking brat,” he sneers and you grin from ear to ear as you sit up above him. </p><p>“Yes. Now tell me before I have to do more damage.” </p><p>He growls, but you see him soften after his outburst and grow weak below you, especially with your hand rubbing along his chassis and up a strong seam toward his neck. </p><p>“I…” he starts, then sighs, as if it’s a hard thing for him to admit. Perhaps your subconscious is fighting you, arguing this is going too far. He would never say it. He would never admit it even as a lie. Your heart begins to sink. </p><p>And then you hear a voice on the wind, and the whole world shakes. You both sit up and look around, and you take a great amount of comfort in the way Megatron wraps his arms around you and tugs you to his lap protectively. </p><p>“Lord Megatron.” The voice says, staticky but identifiable as Soundwave. The world begins to grow dark and you clutch Megatron’s neck. </p><p>“No! Fuck, no! I don’t want to wake up yet! Just a little longer!” You beg and plead as the wind whips up, blowing in your face even with Megatron holding you, but really he isn’t anymore. His body is no longer solid, and neither is yours. That light airy feeling is back but you don’t want it, you want to stay here in your dreams with him and be happy basking in your lies. You blame the wind for why your eyes are wet, and you get one last bleary look at Megatron. He has a strange expression on his face. You can’t place it entirely, but he looks confused, as his optical ridge is tightly knit. Maybe he’s just mad. You are. </p><p>Then you’re lost to the darkness. “Lord Megatron.” The voice calls again, and you can hear it clearer now. Movement makes you open your eyes and you squint to see Megatron - the real one - pull away and then walk over to the terminal. He presses a symbol and it lights up, almost enough to hurt your eyes. </p><p>“What is it?” He growls, sounding even more pissed than usual. </p><p>“My liege requested to be informed immediately -  Shockwave online. Requested your presence. Claim: to have knowledge of Starscream’s plans.”</p><p>You bolt upright in bed, your eyes wide as saucers and your jaw slack. You’re two seconds from hyperventilating, but even in your panic you notice Megatron’s servos begin to clench and hear the scrape of metal. </p><p>“And? What does he want?”</p><p>“Claim: will trade information for the girl.”</p>
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<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Ultimatum</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>HOLY HECK Y’ALL, how has it been a week? Things have been super busy on my end, and I was kinda struggling mentally &amp; physically so I needed the time away to focus on other stuff. Still, wowy. </p>
<p>I’m probably going to be busy the rest of the month as well so... I think I’m going to continue <b>once a week posting</b> for now. I don’t have a day in mind, so please <b>subscribe</b> if you haven’t already! </p>
<p>I hope you guys enjoy. We’re going to see some new characters soon~</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You’re stuck, caught painfully between all of your emotions. Each one tugs at you like a thread hewn to a piece of your mind until you’re torn apart, severed and left in tatters. You want to be angry, scared, confused, anything, but your battered mind reverts to numbness. Those emotions are there, but scattered around you and you can’t piece anything together enough to care. </p>
<p>Briefly, desperately, you wonder if this is still a dream. Perhaps your pleasant visions of Megatron fell into a nightmare. That’s what this must be. A nightmare of all you hoped to avoid come to fruition. You clasp your arms around your body and feel the touch of your warm fingers. It feels too real. You hear thuds and don’t look up until Megatron stands before you. He’s still angry, but you can see he’s capable of keeping it under control. You think for a moment he must be a bubbling volcano, holding back until his blood boils too hot and he explodes. What would that look like? Probably beautiful, knowing him. </p>
<p>“Get dressed,” he commands. You glance up to his face but he won’t look at you. Your limbs are heavy as you tuck Terry in and move off the bed, then to your clothes. Megatron goes back to his terminal and you catch a glimpse of Shockwave on one of the screens via some hidden camera in his room. You can’t look for long before you go back to sliding a T-Shirt, sweats, and a hoodie over you. They’re decent quality but everything feels wrong just now. Irritating, heavy, and yet not warm enough to ward off the chill seeping into your bones. </p>
<p>You go and stand by the door, then let out a pitiful “I’m done,” to get Megatron’s attention. When he doesn’t immediately come to get you, you look back at him and see he’s still watching Shockwave. He’s on a table much like those in the medical bays, but the room appears larger. There are hoses, wires, and alien hardware attached all over his body. You get a chill up your spine as you see him look toward the camera, through the feed, directly into you. His gaze burns beyond your eyes and into your retinas, yet you can’t blink or look away. You just shiver and stare as every hair on your body stands on end. </p>
<p>Then the feed cuts off, the terminal goes dark, and your wide eyes meet Megatron’s. He’s staring at you, and you can’t help but feel pathetic. You’re letting Shockwave make you afraid and he hasn’t even done anything yet. </p>
<p>Though it isn’t really him you fear. Torture wasn’t pleasant, but you could manage. You did fine before. What you really fear is that this time, Megatron will let him. There will be no savior coming to rescue you. Megatron will stand idly by as you’re torn apart, because his job comes before you. And it must, right? There’s a world at stake. Lives. You’re naught but one little insect. </p>
<p>Your eyes tear away from Megatron’s intense optics, feeling far too vulnerable and <i>seen</i> for your comfort. You can feel his steps as much as hear them as he walks toward you, then kneels and holds out his servo. For once, you hesitate. Your hand goes out to touch his, and then you pause, wondering if this will be the last time you do this. If it will be the last moment you touch him. You shake the thoughts aside before he can chide you and climb in, then position yourself on his shoulder. You’re stiff, you know you are, but you can’t help it. Anxiety and doubt have tied such a tight knot in your belly you can do nothing but tense around it. </p>
<p>The door slides open and you’re walked down the hall, presumably toward the room you’d seen in the video feed. Some part of you wants to focus on the walk and where in the ship it might be, especially as he takes you to the elevator and goes down several floors, but you zone out. Your eyes unfocus and you’re swept up in the current of your thoughts, thrashing like waves in your mind. </p>
<p>Can Shockwave be trusted? Does it even matter? If he’s telling the truth, why would he betray Starscream? How <i>the fuck</i> did he even survive what Megatron did? Does Megatron even consider him loyal after everything?</p>
<p>“You are quiet,” he hums beside you, his voice purposely soft. You cringe. </p>
<p>“Don’t- don’t pretend like that. You know why I’m quiet.” You can’t help but speak honestly, brutally so. It’s too hard to pretend right now. </p>
<p>“Are you afraid?” </p>
<p>You let out a sharp breath and stare at the dark floor as he walks, dim purple light barely allowing you to make out his pedes. </p>
<p>“Yes.” </p>
<p>“Of Shockwave?” </p>
<p>You scoff, and actually crack a smile as you shoot him a look. “Not even a bit. He’s just another asshole. Nothing new.” </p>
<p>You see a soft frown develop on his profile, his optics directed at you. “Then what?” </p>
<p>The movement of the floor makes you queasy after a while, so you stare solely at Megatron’s helm. You trace the lines with your eyes and see battle scars that have torn the metal or left deep gouges. You find them charming. </p>
<p>“I don’t want to say,” you whisper, knowing he can hear you despite it. To your surprise, Megatron takes on a soft, nearly pained expression before he looks forward again and returns to his dutiful frown. Perhaps he knows then. It isn’t hard to figure out where your mind has gone after all. The fact he hasn’t contradicted it makes you sink, the numbness overcoming any slight amusement or relief you’d garnered while talking. You lay down on his shoulder, on a flat section you won’t fall from, and close your eyes. </p>
<p>The walk is longer than usual, but not long enough for you to start thinking of a nap, though the darkness does make it easy to doze at a moment’s notice. You like the sound of Megatron’s steady footsteps, as consistent as a heartbeat, and the thrum it sends through your flesh. You can feel him move, hear his ex-vents, and the quirk of his metal as he turns to check on you every few minutes. You try to have them bring you a sense of peace before everything goes to hell, but it isn’t very successful. </p>
<p>A door slides open that you can feel is larger than the rest, the hiss lower and longer than usual. You open your eyes and turn to see you’re standing before the room, and at the end is Shockwave lit up like a trophy on its pedestal. Megatron walks into the room, bringing you closer and closer to his supine form. Eventually you can see the remnants of the hole in his middle, though he’s already more repaired than you expected. And he’s actively repairing himself, tools sparking deep in his metal as diligent but cautious servos replace melted pieces. You wonder if he’s experimented on himself before, or if that’s left to his victims. </p>
<p>“Lord Megatron,” he says as soon as you both draw into the light. He sets his tools aside and tilts his helm, his single bright optic narrowing as he looks between you and Megatron. It still has a significant crack across it, but he can evidently see. </p>
<p>“Shockwave,” Megatron acknowledges, and you can only hear a hint of irritation. </p>
<p>“My Liege, I extend sincerest apologies for my erroneous actions regarding the human. Acting commander Starscream approved of my work, had I known you were online, I would have consulted you first.” </p>
<p>You hate that it almost makes sense, how he justifies his behavior. Megatron just growls. </p>
<p>“Yet you - and Starscream - waited less than a cycle before you overturned my commands and went ahead with your own schedules. That alone could be considered treason. I must question your loyalty, Shockwave.” </p>
<p>He isn’t just mad, you realize, he’s disappointed. You don’t know what their relationship was before, but he obviously expected better from his scientist. </p>
<p>“Forgive me, sire, I must have been wrapped up in my excitement to study the human. Finding efficient ways to kill them - is that not what you wanted as well?” </p>
<p>Your breath halts and you have to actively force your lungs to work again. You take a slow breath and decide to revisit just how genocidal Megatron is later. </p>
<p>“Not on <i>this</i> human,” he snaps, pointing a sharp talon at you. “There are billions of roaches on earth you could have used-”</p>
<p>“But she is special. You know it too.” The way Shockwave says this should be a compliment, but it just makes you nauseous. When Megatron says it, you feel treasured and praised, but when Shockwave utters those same words, you can only feel like a lone unicorn he’d like to chop up just to mount your head on the wall. He probably would. </p>
<p>“So you intend to blackmail me for her?” </p>
<p>“No, nothing so devious. I only said that to get you to bring her here. I knew you would. Any further negotiation I will carry out with the human. In private. No harm will come to her, I only wish to speak.” </p>
<p><i>What the fuck?</i> Your jaw hangs open as you stare at the apparently-brain-damaged-from-face-smashing mech, wide eyed and utterly confused. Megatron holds back his immediate snarl and looks at you. You quickly shut your mouth, then clear your throat. </p>
<p>“I… I can do it, if you want me to,” you tell him with a gentle look. He appears to be examining you, intently, though what he’s looking for you don’t know. Perhaps if you could handle such a thing in your fragile state. Or why the hell you would agree to it at all. </p>
<p>“This is unprecedented.” </p>
<p>“I know, but it’s really a small ask, isn’t it? If it’ll get him to talk…” you half shrug and give him a weak smile. He lets out a deep ex-vent, clearly displeased. You imagine he wants to lock Shockwave up for his betrayal, not give in to his demands. Megatron is the boss, why should he do anything Shockwave says? </p>
<p>“I want to,” you urge, knowing he might bend if it’s you asking instead. You even run your hand along the side of his helm, though you’ve very aware of Shockwave’s unblinking optic observing your every move. Finally Megatron gives a curt nod and takes you into his servo to deposit on the table. </p>
<p>“Do not touch her. Disobey my command again and I will personally tear your spark from your chassis.” He says it so matter-of-fact you’re actually a little surprised. You watch him turn and leave, everything going quiet once the door closes. Considering how Megatron was watching Shockwave on the terminal already, you’re confident he’s gone to do so again and monitor your conversation. </p>
<p>“Alone again.” Shockwave’s statement stings like a dagger through your back. Only when you turn to see him set his tools aside and focus on you do you realize what you’ve done. He could squish you with one hand before anyone could get through the door, even if Megatron was watching. </p>
<p>But that wouldn’t be worth it to him, you remind yourself. He isn’t Starscream. He’s too smart to want blind revenge. You take a deep breath and steel yourself. You don’t like being afraid, it’s a debilitating feeling, being trapped and slowed by your own mind. You won’t let it control you. </p>
<p>“The fuck do you want, cyclops? Huh? What’s your game?” You spit, all of your softness having left with Megatron. </p>
<p>“Just to speak, as I said.” He almost sounds amused. </p>
<p>“So get on with it.” </p>
<p>“Very well. Starscream was, as Megatron suspects, the one to betray him to the autobots. He warned them of the approach, and that is why they were ambushed and Megatron was nearly taken offline, among others.”</p>
<p>That sounds like something he would do, so you aren’t surprised, as much as it makes you hate him more. He’s a coward who couldn’t even face Megatron himself, but had the autobots do his dirty work for him. You wonder if something happened to make him go to his enemy for help. He could’ve done that millenia ago, so why didn’t he? Why now? </p>
<p>“Why?” You urge after a moment thinking. </p>
<p>“Power. Revenge. Use your imagination.”</p>
<p>“So you don’t know either. And?” </p>
<p>“And he intends to do so again, only on a much larger scale. He is working with the autobots now to take out the Nemesis, and any decepticons that are loyal to Megatron.” </p>
<p>“How the fuck is he going to lead the decepticons if he betrays them?” You ask, because this sounds stupid even for him. </p>
<p>“He will deal the autobots a significant blow as well if his plan succeeds and he can double cross them. If Megatron is taken offline by the Autobots as he intends, and his most loyal supporters with him, then who would they have to lead except Starscream? The one who has started to remove their enemy from the face of this planet? The one who overtook their leader? Besides, there have been whispers of Megatron going soft since your arrival. Your presence is strange. His actions toward you even more so.” </p>
<p>You swallow thickly, a cold sensation dripping down your chest like ice water was just dumped over your head. This is partly your fault. </p>
<p>“That’s bullshit,” you whisper, nearly shaking. </p>
<p>“It is the truth. As is the fact I do not wish to see Megatron taken offline, nor have Starscream lead.”</p>
<p>“Now that’s <i>really</i> some bullshit,” you hiss, crossing your arms to try and stave off the cold. </p>
<p>“I took advantage of the previous situation after the fact, when we all believed it was too late to save Megatron. This time I am able to do something beforehand.” </p>
<p>Your brows furrow. “What’s that?”</p>
<p>“Have you stop Starscream.”</p>
<p>You let out a sarcastic laugh. “Oh yeah, I’ll get on that.”</p>
<p>He stares, then tilts his helm. “I have not explained how yet-”</p>
<p>“It’s called sarcasm, dipshit. Go on, explain this plan of yours that definitely won’t end up with me dying to Starscream.”</p>
<p>He shifts, but goes on. “We do not know where the autobot base is. Starscream was only given that information after he proved his betrayal was genuine. Once Megatron woke up, he used it to escape, as it was his backup plan should Megatron not perish in the initial battle. He is most likely hiding among them now… in the one place we cannot find him.” </p>
<p>These autobots are sounding worse every time you hear of them. </p>
<p>“You, however, could find it. They have a soft spot for humans. You will go to the area I suspect the autobot base to be in, where we have found stray patrols, and beseech them to take you in. If you do not die of exposure first.” </p>
<p>“Love the sound of that.” </p>
<p>“Good. Then you can either convince the autobots of Starscream’s plan to betray them, or kill him yourself... Though I doubt you are capable of that.” </p>
<p>“Wouldn’t mind trying,” you grumble, digging your nails into your arm. Everything is Starscream’s fault. You wouldn’t say no to getting a little revenge yourself. </p>
<p>“I will warn you, the likelihood of your return is very low.” </p>
<p>“What? Why?” You ask too quickly, your eyes narrowed at his bright red one.</p>
<p>“You may be human, but you have aligned yourself with us. Why would they let you go? You are their enemy, you know too much. You are also the property of Megatron. If they were smart, they would kill you to get at Megatron or garner information from your small brain, though they are not. They will keep you.” </p>
<p>Your heart sinks. He’s probably right. Once you know where their base is, if they let you in at all, they couldn’t let you go. You’ll be stuck in there with a bunch of autobots, and Starscream, who still wants to kill you. Worst case; he will and Megatron dies because of you. Best case; Starscream’s plans are thwarted, but you never see Megatron again. Well that’s shit and more shit. </p>
<p>“Is there… no other option?” You ask, not daring to be hopeful. </p>
<p>“No. There is no one else who can get to Starscream. If the autobots do not realize his plan, or decide it is worth the risk to land a killing blow on Megatron, there is nothing we can do to predict it. Starscream knows too much, and he told no one his full plan. If you do not stop him, no one will.” </p>
<p>Great. Why can’t things go right for one goddamn second around here?</p>
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<a name="section0021"><h2>21. UPDATE 2 - NOT FIC RELATED</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aight y’all, ya gurl did not get the job 😩 so I’ll be back to writing soon. This is just a little update to remind you I haven’t forgotten, just been stressed and waiting, and still organizing stuff for my classes starting in a few days. </p><p>As a Pity Party Gift for myself and a thank you to everyone here reading, I did get another little Megatron commission. Enjoy 💜</p><p>https://twitter.com/al3xolotl/status/1375549044102168579?s=20</p>
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